Episode 25: Being Myself, Being Yourself

Ruri: Well, we may be idiots, but everyone else are rat bastards, so given the choice… I’m with the idiots.

Genichiro: ...

Vice Admiral Kusakabe: Greetings, suckers fellow citizens. You know I want nothing more than a world filled with flowers and puppies, but Earth is filled with treacherous bastards who tried to save killed our ambassador Tsukumo Shiratori. Now we should kill everyone from Earth, because I say so.

Jovians: YAYYY!!!!

Genichiro: *RIP* Having a conscience sucks. Too bad my eventual gut-wrenching guilt spasm and betrayal of the Jovian Federation takes place between the series and the movie so people won’t actually get to watch it.

Ryoko: Hey, we came to your ship, where the hell's the swingin' welcoming party?! Sheesh! No respect!

Erina: Oh, gripe. Anyway, we brought you on the Kakitsubata for a very important experiment. Care to explain, Inez?

Inez: How about we skip the speech and cut right to the jump? Think of Mars, Akito and Yurika.

Ruri: Uh, it looks like the Kakitsubata is about to make a boson jump.

Inez: Mars Mars Mars. *FLASH*

Yurika: Um, yipe. *FLASH*

Akito: Er… *FLASH*

Megumi: Ever get the feeling you’re being ignored?

Akatsuki: Huh huh-huh. This is gonna be cool.

Inez: And now we’re on the observation deck. Ring any bells?


Inez: Okay, think of Mars again. But this one ain’t gonna be a practice run.

Akito: Mars… Mars… whoa, trippy! *FLASH*

Erina: Hey, they did it!

Akatsuki: Hang onto your shorts and don’t piss in ‘em!

Kakitsubata: SEE YA! *FLASH*

Ruri: High mobile battleship go bye-bye.

Prospector: I’m going to go way out on a limb and speculate that they probably jumped to Mars. How we’re going to keep up with them, I don’t know, but let’s head there anyway.


Akatsuki: That was cool. Well, so much for trying to break Akito and Yurika up now, eh Erina?

Erina: You’re going down.


Yurika: You got SOME nerve pulling a stunt like that, buddy.

Akatsuki: Hey hey, get your panties out of a bunch. I’d be happy to help, y’know. Ha!

Inez: Well, the good news is we understand how to jump. The bad news is, it still makes absolutely no sense.

Akatsuki: Ah well, I’m sure a jaunt to the polar ruins will clear this all up.

Prospector: So basically, Nergal came across some mysterious ruin underground at the pole and just happened to discover a big structure made of the same stuff as Chulips.


Prospector: So, it’s a big honkin’ computer.

Ruri: And it controls all the boson jumps that happen. Naturally, everyone’s fighting over it.

Erina: Well, it IS sort of an opportunity to revolutionize the human race and let us explore the stars.

Ryoko: And let you get your greedy little fists on more stuff.

Erina: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!

Ryoko: Fuck that. Nice scenery, huh, Akito?

Akito: I guess.

Erina: So that makes this you and Yurika’s special place. Well, we’d better back out, Ryoko.

Akito: I think I’m gonna throw a hissy fit and proclaim I have absolutely NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with that ditzy-

Ryoko and Erina: *POW!* Get a clue.

Akito: And there is only pain.

Yurika: What’s this about pain?

Akito: Never fear. I’m a manly man and all that.

Akatsuki: Well, water under the bridge and stuff. No more betraying or backstabbing or espionage, okay kids? We’re one big dysfunctional horny military family now.

Yurika: But I still get to be myself!

Akatsuki: Uh, yeah.

Nadesico logo: So I hate you/
And you hate me/
You know what, you know what/
It’s all in the family…

Yurika: And that is the sum total of our stuuuuuuuupid plan.

Prospector: Oh well.

Ruri: Well, the UEF is just throwing 100+ ships at us. The Jovians, on the other hand, have some big-ass fortresses.

Yurika: One apropos-or-nothing Star Wars joke! Going once! Going twice! SOLD to ADV Films!

Ruri: We’ve got twelve hours before everyone shows up and makes us all very dead.

Yurika: In that case, time to kick ass!

Ryoko: Ever feel like life is a giant hamster wheel?

Hikaru: A bad joke with no punchline?

Izumi: I guess that means it’s time for me to say something moving, deep and profound. Keep the faith, girls.

Hikaru: That was deep. I’m vibing.

Izumi: …nah, that’s no fun. Back to lame puns for me!

Megumi: I knew it was too good to last! Uh, what happened to hard-luck girl?

Ruri: Oh, she’s getting smashed.

Ryoko: Dammit Tenkawa, I thought we were through with this wussing out crap.

Akito: I don’t wanna fight.

Ryoko: Stop whining!


Ryoko: ARE TOO!

Akito: ARE NOT!

Ryoko: ARE TOO!

Akito: ARE NOT!

Ryoko: Look Akito, were you so dense as to not notice that Yurika was up to something when she went on that “being myself” rant?

Akito: Uh…


Jovian Fleet: *implode*

Vice Admiral Kusakabe: Uh oh, bad Nadesico. No biscuit.

Akatsuki: Smashing job, Yurika! Uh, now, remember, one big happy family, right?


Ruri: They’re kicking butt and taking names.

Jun: Yeah, but they’re a trifle outnumbered. Maybe we should help our “family”?

Yurika: Well kids, if we’re all a family, I’m the crazy aunt in the basement. Ruri, nuke the ruins!

Akatsuki: OMG WTF???

Yurika: If the ruins go, the fighting stops and we can all go back to the important things, like trying to get laid!

Akatsuki: On one level I agree, and yet… er, oh shit.

Ruins: Oh, this won’t do at all. *FORCEFIELD*

Yurika: Fire!

Phase-Transition Cannon: DOINK.

Yurika: I don’t think it’s supposed to do that.

Akatsuki: Ha! Well, I can see that was nothing to worry about.

Erina: Then what *IS* that puddle underneath your seat?

Akatsuki: Got no time for chit-chat. It's time to smack mah bitch up!

Yurika: Uh, again?

Phase-Transition Cannon: DOINK.

Jun: Uh…

Yurika: Again!

Ruri: We're outta juice. We're in an atmosphere, remember?

Megumi: Uh, the Kakitsubata's coming this way. And I don't think sending out a fleet of robots is their standard greeting procedure..

Yurika: Uh, well, in that case, scramble!

Ryoko: Here we go again.

Akito: You know, I REALLY don't like you.

Akatsuki: Feeling's mutual. Gee Yurika, whatever happened to that no-backstabbing agreement?

Yurika: Uh, but, uh, peace?

Akatsuki: Well, no wonder you and Akito keep winding up together. Between your happy fru fru fantasies and his fanboy idiocy, I'd say you're the most hopeless couple in anime.

Akito: You know what? Fuck Gekigangar! Making good and evil a black and white affair was what enabled the Jovians to pull all this crap in the first place!

Akatsuki: You're right. Too bad MOST of us learned that in about fourth grade. Real life is a bit more complicated. Maybe I could recommend some gut-wrenching Ghibli dramas to watch?

Akito: Okay, I'm stating the obvious here, but… this isn't about anime! It's about people dying!

Akatsuki: True. Maybe we could talk things out… nah, let's just try to kill each other instead.

Akito: It's a duel! *HACK SLASH WHANG*

Ryoko: Sheesh. Men.

Akatsuki: *SLASH* Oops, poor baby, am I kicking your ass? Why, it seems I am! By the way, heroism is overrated. If you want to survive, you have to fight for yourself!

Akitoa: Well, looks like I'm screwed.

Inez: Psst. Just think a happy thought.

Akito: *FLASH*

Akatsuki: He jumped? Uh, no fair.

Erina: No crystals either. Damn.

Inez: Okay kids, very last explanation, coming to you live from inside the ruins. Basically, boson jumping isn't really space travel, it's time travel. The ruin is an even bigger honkin' computer than you guys thought it was, and it's pulling all the strings whenever someone boson jumps. Oh, and Akito? There's a little girl who's about to appear down here you might want to meet. But we're out of time, so just chill, 'til the next episode.

Ai: *sniffle sniffle* I need a new agent.

On to Episode 26: For The Lady We Will Meet Someday