Episode 26: For The Lady We Will Meet Someday

Ruri: Well, fellow members of the Idiot Brigade, time to wrap this disjointed mess up.

Ryoko: Duh, who put the fight out?

Erina: Well, no sense in shooting with people down in the ruins now. Let's sit tight, shall we?

Akito: Uh, this is a pretty deep hole.

Akatsuki: No shit. So who is this girl Ms. Fressange kept mentioning? I wonder if she's hot…

Yurika: Hey, I know! It's Ai!

Ryoko: Of course!

Hikaru: Of course!

Izumi: WAY OFF COURSE! Okay, you won't hear another peep out of me.

Akatsuki: Yup, it's got to be Ai.

Ryoko: Makes sense to me.

Erina: Um… WTF? Explanation, please.

Ruri: Inez isn't talking, so… she's a little girl introduced a minute and a half into the series and who everybody was pretty much sure was dead. Uh, apparently we were wrong.

Ai: Boring.

Inez: Chill, kid. You'll get your chance to be wrenched away from him again any minute now

Ai: Uh, yeah. You seem familiar. By the way, I remember lots of robots and Mr. Akito shining and then I went POOF!

Chulip: Hi, I was thinking I'd drop in and crash the party.

Saburota: Woo hoo! The Nadesico's here! Let's kill them!

Akiyama: Well, let's whack that other ship first. It's not like anyone important's on there, anyway.

Erina: Um.

Genichiro: Hi kids, this would be the last hurrah.

Inez: Damn, this Chulip is throwing a wrench in the whole works.

Ai: Huh?

Akito: Well I'll be damned! It IS Ai!

Yurika: Here we go again. Get ready to kick ass, everyone!

Jun and Ryoko: Yo Joe!

Ai: Uh, I'm getting all glowy again!

Inez: Shit. Well, Ai, looks like you're going bye-bye again. But do me a favor and don't forget Akito.

Ai: Uh, okay. Now, about this card around my neck-GACK. *FLASH*

Metal Plate: CLANK.

Inez: Oooh, shiny.


Inez: Oh, NOW they get here… perfectly awful timing. Well, THIS IS ANIME™, after all.

Akito: Guh? What happened to Ai?

Inez: Just missed her. But she’s still here, sort of.

Akito: This is redundant, but, uh, explain?

Inez: Long story short, when you jumped to Earth, she tried to follow but wound up on Mars thousands of years ago instead. Then the lost civilization sent her to 20 years ago, and she was found in the desert.

Akito: Then… Ai is YOU! You’re Ai!

Akatsuki: And if you haven’t figured that out by now, you’re a little dense!

Ruri: Ignoring the hair color change, of course.

Akito: Oh man, I REALLY fucked up this time.

Inez: Aw, don’t sweat it.

Akito and Inez: *HUG*

Erina: Oh, while you’re all caught up in this crap, I am sort of getting my ASS kicked over here!

Ruri: Sho'nuff. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

Akiyama: FINISH HER.

Saburota: Pretty battleship faw down go boom.

Akatsuki: Might want to get off the ship, Erina.

Kakitsubata: Live fast, die young, leave a rotting, bloated corpse. *KAAAA-BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!*


Izumi: Well, no more of Superbitch. DING DONG, THE BITCH IS DEAD-

Erina: I'm not dead!

Izumi: You will be soon, you're gravely ill!

Erina: I'm getting better!

Izumi: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

Erina: I don't want to go on the cart!

Izumi: Aw, don't be such a baby!

Erina: I feel fine! I think I'll go for a walk!

Izumi: You're not fooling anyone, y'know?

Erina:: I feel HAPPYYYYYYYY-

Akito: I suck. Ai grew up to be a dork because of me.

Howmei Girls: What part of "You saved her freaking life" do you not understand?

Yurika: ...

Inez: (The wheels in her head are turning again. Uh oh.)

Yukina: Psst, did you forget about me? Don't sweat it brother, I'll go snap your ho out of it.

Genichiro: All right, let's try the surrender ultimatum thing again. Give up, pretty please?

Everyone: Uh… fuck that.

Prospector: Captain, a verdict?

Yurika: Since even our ridiculous luck can't save us now, I'm thinking the sick irony this show's writers love so much would be best served if we all went kaboom!

Minato: Hmph. Joe gets to come back at the end of Gekigangar, but Tsukumo doesn't. I guess this show turned out to be the root of all evil after all. "Basing your life around an anime is a bad idea," that's the central theme of this series, kids.

Yukina: Well, *I* think the slogan should be "Stop whining."

Minato: Fuck that.

Yukina: Look, are you gonna start acting like my sister-in-law or not? Tsukumo would puke if he saw this.

Nadesico logo: The trademark of a great anime is to have a hasty, ungratifying two minute ending with virtually no denouement whatsoever. In that respect, we certainly won't disappoint. And for the last time, just because I can… QUACK!!!!

Jun and Ruri: Uh, self destruct?

Yurika: Sho'nuff. Not only will it enable us to continue this show's streak of really stupid character deaths, it'll put a stop to the war in the process! Isn't that super?

Erina: That would sort of KILL US ALL, brainiac.

Yurika: Nah, it'll just kill me. Nah, it won't even do that.

Akito: Homey don't play thaaaaAUGH. *SPLAT* Pardon my ungraceful entry, no thanks to Izumi, but… I oughta have you committed, you know that?

Yurika: Hmph! I won't die! I'll have you know I'm fully qualified to carry out nuclear demolitions!

Akito: You won't make it!

Yurika: Will too!

Akito: Will not!

Yurika: Will too!

Akito: Read my lips: YOU. ARE. A. DITZ.


Prospector and Akatsuki: Oh, SMOOTH.

Akito: BLOW ME.

Yurika: But, uh, what about peace and stuff…

Jun: Even assuming you DID manage to self destruct the ship without blowing your pretty ass sky high, would it take the ruins out? I mean, far be it for anyone to listen to me, but our most powerful weapon couldn't even dent it.

Akatsuki: Hey, just let Nergal handle things. We're experts at weaseling out of stuff!

Erina: Yeah, that's the ticket!

Ruri: Ticket to getting blown up like your ship just was… oh, excuse me, am I making you look stupid again?

Yurika: Peace… we've got to have Love and Peace…

Seiya: Oh, by the way, if we DID blow the ruins up, the whole war might never exist in the first place. It'd be like a big History Eraser Button, y'see.

Howmei: Innnnnnnnnntriguing.

Ukelele: TWANG.

Izumi: Um, any particular reason everybody's staring at me? I didn't do it.

Admiral Fukube: What up, dawg? Hey, don't blow the ship up.

Inez: He survived and got taken prisoner by the Jovians. Unfortunately, he seems to have picked up the captain's annoying habit of doing "V's."

Yurika: But I wanna blow the ship up!

Fukube: That's… stupid.

Ruri: Just keep in mind captain, if the ruins go, so does our recent history. That means you and Akito wouldn't meet. You still want to do it?

Yurika: Oh all right, let's just grab the boson-jump computer and make a break for it.

Minato: Whassup, dawgs? Yukina knocked some sense into me and gave me another opportunity to hint at her having a lesbian crush on me, so I can work again.

Megumi: Oooooooooooookay.

Ruri: It would have been a big drag to lose the year of my life I've been here, y'know? But everybody's gone/
And I've been here for too long/
To face this on my own/
Well, I guess this is Growing Up.

Vice Admiral Kusakabe: Never send a coward to do a bastard's job. Get at them, Genichiro!

Genichiro: Uh…

Akiyama: Y'know, the more I think, the dumber we look piloting in Gekigangar cosplay.

Saburota: Well, you could always stop thinking!

Ruri: We got the mechs, you get the Borg cube there.

Inez: Okey-dokey.

Erina: Aw hell, I guess even I can get into the sappy spirit of things. Well, Martians, jump us out of here!

Inez, Akito and Yurika: *FLASH POP*

Ruri: Uh… it didn't work. So much for our miraculous escape.

Inez: Akito. Yurika. SMOOCHY TIME.

Akito and Yurika: HUH?????

Inez: Uh, there's a scientific reason for it. Really. You better kiss or we're all screwed.

Yurika: FUCK THAT!!!!!!

Akito: Um, what's with the sudden frostiness?

Yurika: I said I didn't want a sympathy fuck! Screw this, I'm out of here. *FLASH*

Akatsuki: So only Martians can boson jump because the ruins used the nanomachines to rewrite their DNA?

Erina: TOLD you that was going to be a major plot point. And now Yurika and Akito are playing a high-stakes game of role reversal. Ohhhhh, those wacky kids!

Yukina: Y'know, big brother, I'm going to stay with Minato. I think I beat Heero Yuy for "Affectionate reversal of original murderous intent" by about 30 episodes.

Seiya: Hey Tenkawa, get your bitch out of that Aestivalis!

Akito: Yo, Yurika! Get down here before I CAP yo ass!

Seiya: You can't fly it without the implant anyway, Captain Dumbass!

Yurika: Oh me oh my, I wonder what this pretty design on my hand is. Could it be a nanocontroller? Why, so it is! Go figure! So, Mr. Nanocontroller, what shall we do? What's that? "Fly the Aestivalis?" Sounds good to me! *ZOOM*

Akito and Seiya: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh shit.

Inez: Hey Akito, you could always just jump into the Aestivalis.

Akito: I find the answers aren't so clear/
Wish I could find a way to disappear! *FLASH*

Seiya: DUDE, that's creepy.

Akito:: *ZAP* Hi there, would you like a co-pilot?

Yurika: As a matter of fact, NO!! *SHOVE*

Akito and Yurika: *Random argument sounds*

Genichiro: What…

Akiyama: ...The

Saburota: Fuck?

Ruri: Psst, I'm relaying the argument to every ship on the planet. I wonder if that would bother them…

Inez: Ohhhhhhhh, those wacky kids!

Akito: Yurika, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times… you MYSTIFY me with your randomness. Why in the hell did you want to change history and wipe out everything we've been through?!

Yurika: Don't play dumb, I know you love Ai! After beating out Megumi, Ryoko, Ruri AND Erina I lose to a fucking 8 year old! I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!

Kia Asamiya: Akito, tell her off. Maybe slap her too.

Thousands of rabid fangirls: YES! SLAP HER, AKITO!!!!!!!

Akito: Yurika, for the last time, get a CLUE. There is a bit of a FUCKING DIFFERENCE between "feeling guilty" and "loving."

Yurika: Eh? There is?

Akito: I'm not sure what else to say, so… uh, I finished watching Gekigangar 3 last night. The ending was the cheesiest, most retarded thing I've ever seen. It sucked like a Rug Doctor plugged into a 220-volt outlet. But y'know, it still gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

Ryoko, Hikaru and Izumi: Awwww.

Akito: I get the same feeling when I think about you.

Genichiro, Akiyama and Akatsuki: Awwww.

Akito: So I guess the point I'm trying to make here is, uh-

Yurika: You love me?

Akito: DAMMIT HO, THAT WAS MY BIG LINE-uh, yeah. And, uh, you?

Yurika: Well DUH. Haven't you figured it out? Sheesh, who's the real ditz here?

Akito: But you never said it!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not!

Yurika: Did too!

Akito: Did not! But you know what?

Yurika: What?

Akito: You're hot when you're indignant! So pucker up!


Thousands of anime fans: IT'S ABOUT #%^%#&#$!@^^#$%$#&%^%^$##@%%@#@&#%@%*&$@$%#*^@(*&$^@(*&^@(#*&%$^@%*^#@^%*@^%*^%@$#&%KING TIME!!!!!!</P> </TD> </TD><TR BGCOLOR="#FFCCCC"> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER><img src="http://amethyst-angel.com/ruri_thumb.jpg" width="58" height="58" border="0"></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Ruri: </B> Cue the sappy vocal love theme, Omoikane.</P> </TD> </TR> <TR> </TD> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER><img src="http://amethyst-angel.com/yurika_thumb.jpg" width="58" height="58" border="0"></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Yurika:</B> (Just in case you forgot we're still kissing, I love you, Akito.)</P> </TD> </TD><TR BGCOLOR="#FFCCCC"> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER><img src="http://amethyst-angel.com/akito_thumb.jpg" width="58" height="58" border="0"><img src="http://amethyst-angel.com/yurika_thumb.jpg" width="58" height="58" border="0"></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Akito and Yurika: </B> *FLASH*</P> </TD> </TR> <TR> </TD> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Nadesico:</B> *FLASH*</P> </TD> </TD><TR BGCOLOR="#FFCCCC"> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER><img src="http://amethyst-angel.com/ruri_thumb.jpg" width="58" height="58" border="0"></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Ruri: </B> And thus, the noble quest of Captain Misumaru and her knight Tenkawa of the High Mobile Battleship for Sweet, Sweet Lovin' came to an end. Well, not really. In case you haven't noticed, we left just about every possible plot thread dangling. What the hell that plate Inez got from Ai was, the ancient civilization and all that. Oh, and the war's still going on, but now everyone will be after US. And did I mention we separated the bridge and cast the ship adrift so no one could find the ruins? I sure hope someone picks us up. Well, they will, but telling you what happens next would spoil all the tie-in novels that will be released to cover the events in the three years between the series and the movie. </P> </TD> </TR> <TR> </TD> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Kia Asamiya:</B> Who says we didn't learn anything from George Lucas? And by the way, those novels have about as good a chance of being translated to English as we have a chance of Hideki Tojo bursting out of his grave and performing Broadway numbers. See you on the big screen for the final yet enormously ungratifying conclusion… suckers.</P> </TD> </TD><TR BGCOLOR="#FFCCCC"> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <CENTER></CENTER> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>Thousands of anime fans: </B> Mr. Asamiya, YOU SSSSSSSSUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!</P> </TD> </TR> <TR> </TD> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <P><FONT SIZE="2" FONT FACE="Tahoma" ><B>The End</B> </P> </TD> </TD> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=40> <P></P> </TD> <TD VALIGN=top WIDTH=700> <P><A HREF="http://amethyst-angel.com/nadesico/nadesico_blank.html"><FONT SIZE="2"FONT FACE="Tahoma">On to the Sequel! Nadesico: Blank of Three Years</FONT></A> <br> <br><A HREF="http://amethyst-angel.com/nadesico_main_tt.html"><FONT SIZE="2"FONT FACE="Tahoma">Home</FONT></A> </TD> </TR> </TABLE> </body> </html>