Episode 22: Protect The Visitor?

Ruri: The past is the present. The present is the future. The past is the future. The end is the beginning is the end. Mmm, breakfast.

Erina and Yurika: Catfight! Catfight!


Akatsuki: Trying to get away, all by yourself? In that case, why don't you leave the captain alone with me! Heh heh.

Yurika: Help.

Erina: Will you all GET A ROOM?

Hikaru and Izumi: You sure you wouldn't want to join us?

Akito: YOU ALL SUCK. Oh, hey, here comes some Jovian thingy.

Yukina: ...

Inez: Well, well, look what the wuss dragged in.

Yukina: Uh oh! I've got amnesia! (Shyeah right.)

Inez: Shyeah right kid. You're Yukina Shiratori, you're a Jovian, you like to speak your action verbs out loud and you're BUSTED.

Yukina: Okay, amnesia didn't work. Charm, maybe?

Inez: I suppose I can at least humor the kid.

Yukina: (SUCKER!)

Tsukumo: Great, my hopes of getting laid all depend on my psychotic, possessive sister. Please don't fuck up the peace plan, Yukina.

Genichiro: No worries, bud, it's not like she's going over there to try and kill the chick you love, right?


Erina: You can't hide from me, Akito! Big Bitch is watching!

Akito: Get a life. I've had it with your stupid jump tests.

Erina: Stop being such a wuss and submit already.

Akito: Uh, no.

Erina: Just like your father… whoops.

Akito: Welp, you shouldn't have said that. Now my interest has been rekindled in a most unhealthy manner.

Erina: Uh… lemme alone, you jofer!

Akito: Jofer? That's the lamest insult I've heard since "nerf herder."

Yukina: Eh, the hell with revenge. Snack time!

Seiya: So we've got some Lolita Jovian girl runnin' around now, eh? It's all good.

Yukina: Hmm, they keep prattling on about wanting the war to be over. Maybe they do want peace after all? …Nah. Well, at least they had the courtesy to stroke my ego. Okay Minato, prepare for Bathtub Death!

Minato: Er… it's not a very good idea to stay submerged that long in water that hot.

Yukina: NO SHIT. *SPLAT*

Minato: You're Tsukumo's sister right? I see I have a lot of delusions to shatter. Let's snuggle.

Yukina: You know the Gekigangar song? But that show sucks. Anyway, you were, uh, seducing him!

Minato: Nah, we didn't even get to do the nasty.

Yukina: The-na-YOU SLUT!!!! Whoops, brain overheated again.

Minato: Aw, you're adorable. Your brother's pretty lucky.

Yukina: Spare me. …You mean it?

Minato: Killing isn't very nice, y'know? It'd make Tsukumo cry.

Yukina: Okay, you won me over. But, uh, he's kinda timid in the sack, so be gentle.

Minato: How about we don't even go there.

Nadesico logo: Another one rides the bus-er, ship.


Admiral Misumaru: My god, I actually got some screen time again! What do you suppose I'm up to now?

Yukina: Okay grown-ups, check it out: Chulip TV!

Yurika and Hikaru: SWEEEEEET.

Akito: *GLARE*

Erina: Mommy.

Yukina: Er… it's busted.

Ruri: I learned this one from Spike Spiegel. *KICK*

Yukina: Well I'll be damned. Hi, bro!

Tsukumo: Uh, hey. Oh, Minato! *BLUSH*

Minato: *BLUSH* Hi.

Yukina: Psst! Gekigangar isn't exactly the best icebreaker.

Tsukumo: Dammit, sis, you're messing up my mojo! Oh well, a few dorky puns will be sure to lighten the situation.

Izumi: Amateur.

Tsukumo and Minato: *BLUSH SNIFFLE*

Yurika: Okay kiddies, I'm making Yukina our protectorate. And we'll try that peace treaty thingie.

Tsukumo: Uh, hey, Minato, would you, uh, I mean when this fighting is, y'know, over, would you like to, uh-

Ruri: Psst. We're being surrounded by the UEF.

Thousands of anime fans: ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Admiral Misumaru: Hey there, hot stuff-I mean, daughter. Uh, gimme the kid.

Yurika: The fuck?

Genichiro: You actually bought that sniffling act? You're a sucker, Tsukumo. Anyway, Minato doesn't even compare to Miss Nanako.

Tsukumo: Eat my fist, asshole! *POW*

Yurika: I'm not giving her over, daddy.

Admiral Misumaru: Aw, come on!

Yurika: Ruri, nuke my dad.

Ruri: Bitchin'.

Admiral Misumaru: Oh SH-

Ruri: Uh… the ship just shut off. Did someone just trip over the cord?

Akatsuki: Ooops, did I do that?

Yurika: Huh, what, who, how-

Akatsuki: And, of course, I can get away with it, because I'm the Chairman of Nergal.

Yurika and Akito: HUH?!

Ruri, Ryoko, Jun, Izumi, Seiya and Hikaru: Oh come on, you two, didn't you see that one coming? Not even with the ludicrous amount of blatant foreshadowing?

Akatsuki: You mean everyone except Mr. and Miss Idiot 1996 knew who I was from the start?! Quit ruining my fun! Eh, you all suck. I'm taking command of the ship. If y'all don't like me… blow me.

Admiral Misumaru: I've changed my underwear and I'm coming for the kid. Now, Yurika, be a good little tool and tell me where the girl is.

Yurika: ...

Erina: Trying to hide the girl, Akito? I could help you. I can do a lot *MORE* than Yurika can, if you get my drift.

Yukina: ...

Akito: ...

Erina: Besides, wouldn't you like to know about your dad?

Akito: ...

Prospector: This is lame.

Admiral Misumaru: You're a real chip off the old block, Akatsuki. Just as much of a ruthless bastard as your father. He did conveniently orchestrate Akito's parents' deaths, after all.

Yurika: Oh shit… I guess Daddy really was bullshitting me back in episode 2.

Prospector: Psst. Don't tell anyone, but I'm carrying a wiretap.

Admiral Misumaru: So you're manipulating my daughter now?

Akatsuki: Whoa, me, manipulating people? Surely you jest!

Prospector: Stop playing the retard, kid. Your pop didn't want anyone to find out about the existence of CCs, so he had Akito's parents murdered when they were going to blab to the public.

Akatsuki: Grrr.

Prospector: I should know, I was hanging out on Mars at the time. The whole "Military coup" affair was rather convenient, wasn't it?

Akatsuki: Don't fuck with me.

Prospector: No, YOU don't fuck with an old school L33T H4XX0R. I'd be happy to thaw out Woodward and Bernstein's cryonically frozen corpses and tell them Nergal orchestrated the whole thing.

Akatsuki: Well, hey, that's capitalism. The whole "lost technology left by an ancient Martian civilization" thing was too good to pass up on.

Akito: His ass is grass and I'm gonna smoke it.

Prospector: And the girl?

Akatsuki: An obstacle to my plans, of course.

Goat: In other words, she's history.

Akatsuki: Yup.

Prospector: Naughty, naughty chairman.

Yurika: Quick decision. Uh, run!

Goat: It's never a good idea to only leave two armed guards for a 7 foot 350 pound military guy, y'know? *POW WHACK BLAM ASSKICK*

Akito: When in pandemonium, do as the ditz said.

Erina: Uh, no, you mustn't run away!

Goat and Prospector: Finally, the O.G.s get to whip some ass. *RATATATATATAT*

Akatsuki: Hey, cut that ou-GACK.

Admiral Misumaru: *WHANG* Nighty night.

Yurika: Aw, shucks. Thanks, pop. Later.

Erina: Hey, don't leave me!

Akito: You have some fucking nerve, you know that?

Erina: *whimper, sob, cry*

Akito: I am so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger/
Sick of you acting like I owe you this/
Find another place to feed your greed/
While I find a place to rest.

Erina: *sob wail*

Guards: HALT!!!!

Akito: …Uh oh, looks like I'm screwed.

Hikaru: Hey kids, it's that time again.

Ryoko: Howdy Doody Time?

Izumi: Nope, Time To Save Tenkawa's Ass! *RATATATATATAT*

Akito: Bitchin'. Let's go, Yukina.

Yurika: Uh, run, everybody!


On to Episode 23: A Place We Call Home