Episode 13: There Is No Single Truth

Seiya and Jun: YOU GET TO BURNING! Eat your heart out, Yumi Matsuzawa!

Erina: I. Am. So. Smart. Just watch, I'll prove to these stuffy scientists that humans really can boson-jump.

Howmei: It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens/
I'm cooking chicken and collard greens!

Howmei Girls: We haven't forgotten the true meaning of Christmas! Guys, presents and flowers! Yeah!

Yurika: Mmm, I know what I want to unwrap Christmas Eve!

Megumi: Aww, tough luck! HA!

Ryoko: It's ON, bitch! Just as soon as I find out where he went, that is.

Akito: Christmas nookie? The hell with that. I'm camping out and watching Gekigangar.

Seiya: Dude, my party is going to KICK. ASS. I'm REALLY gonna get laid now!

Ruri: Too bad everyone's going to Akatsuki's party and not yours.

Seiya: Grr. Didn't anyone ever tell you little Japanese girls should be seen and not heard?

Ruri: I guess it's too bad that I'm actually Norwegian then.

Minato: Get over here, you big lug of lovin'. *SMOOCH*

Goat: Dude, this kicks ass. *SMOOCH*

Minato: Hmm? Oh gee, how thoughtful of you to try to kick me off the ship.

Goat: It has a little to do with the fact that I don't want you blown to smithereens if the shit hits the fan, ya know?

Yokosuka Bay Citizens: Nadesico, you suck!

Admiral Munetake: Well, kids, you're being drafted. The following personnel will now be dismissed: Akito Tenkawa.………………………………………………………...That will be all.

Akito: Eh?!

Admiral Munetake: Oh, but don't worry, we're leaving your Aestivalis in the hands of an awesomely superb pilot.

Seelie: Hi, Tenkawa, I'm the pilot replacing you. My name is Sylphiel Seelie, but all my friends call me "Dead Meat." I wonder why that is…

Megumi: To hell with this! I go where the schlong goes. I'm quitting!

Yurika: Aw come on Akito, I could probably turn some tricks or something to keep you on the ship!


Yurika: …

Akito: Whoops, I mean I…

Megumi: Nope, no heart-wrenching last-second confessions of affection for you two. Let's go, BOYFRIEND.

Akito: Welp, I'm screwed again.

Erina: Hey there, need a lift? We'd still like to use-er, employ you.

Inez: Basically, Akito, you're the key to figuring out how to boson jump living people and manned weapons and thereby possibly turning the tide of the war.

Megumi: Well, I'm putting the word "NO" in his mouth!

Erina: Hey Akito, check this Chulip Crystal out. Recognize it?

Akito: Oooh, shiny. I mean, yeah, I used to have one.

Nadesico logo: Innnnnnnnnnnntriguing.

Erina: Basically, you jumped from Mars to the Earth with that CC you had. That's how you wound up here instead of being killed in the attack on Utopia, right? RIGHT?!

Akito: Well shucks howdy, I guess I did.

Inea: Oh look, the results of your human Aestivalis jump experiment are back, Erina. Hmm, I don't think it's supposed to come out looking like a twisted mangled hulk of metal.

Akito: I guess I should have known Nergal being benevolent was too good to be true.

Erina: Aw, come on! You have my full faith as a ruthless bitch that you can do it and not get killed! Okay? Okay?

Akito: Fuck that. I'm outta here.

Erina: Eh, he'll be back. They ALWAYS come back.

Inez: Okay, it's pretty obvious you have the hots for him too. Anyhoo, let's drop some jargon to point out that maybe, just maybe, the Jovians just found this shit like we did instead of inventing it?

Erina: Uh, let's save that until we figure out just WHAT is coming through the Chulip right now.

Izumi: Merry Christmas and a punny New Year. Yeah.

Yurika: ...

Minato: Fuck this, I'm staying on the ship.

Goat: Hoo boy. Looks like Akito and Megumi's relationship isn't the only one heading for the shitter.

Ruri: Um, just in case you forgot, we never get to have a good time without it being interrupted, so: The city's being attacked by two Jovian mechs. And they have gravity blast cannons.

Akatsuki: Yeah, it figures this would happen during my Christmas macking.

Megumi: Look, I don't care whether it poses a threat to our lives or not, would you just ignore the damn attack and concentrate on me?

Akito: Aw, but if the Nadesico goes, so does everything I love.

Megumi: So I'm not enough? Come on, you're still a hero if you just protect the girl you love.

Akito: Er, but that might not be you.

Ryoko: Um, is there any particular reason we can't hit them? *BLAM* GACK!

Hikaru: Maybe it's that they keep disappearing before our shots hit? *WHACK* GACK!

Seelie: Maybe we should try chaining ourselves to it! Watch this!

Erina: Um, that stupid bitch is going to get herself killed if she stays attached to it while it jumps.

Aestivalis *CRUNCH*

Izumi: …and there she goes.

Ruri: Compared to her, Mr. Yamada practically got in a full tour of duty.

Akatsuki: Well, that was predictable too bad. Guess we've got a pilot vacancy again.

Akito: Here I come to save the daaaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Megumi: Akito, you suck.

Akatsuki: Okay, we figured out the jump pattern, so it's toast now!

Inez: Unless it self destructs and wipes out the whole city. Which, naturally, it's about to do.

Erina: No sweat. Wuss boy is in da house again.

Akito: Check out the lupine eyes. I'm back in bad ass mode. Aw yeah. Hasta la vista, mech! *FLASH*

Akatsuki: Welp, at least he died in a non-wussy manner.

Megumi: Stupid stupid STUPID!

Erina: Chill, he's not dead.

Inez: He's on the moon and got thrown back in time two weeks.

Akito: Hey yo.

Yurika: I thought this was supposed to be a *sniffle* comedy. I wanna be held.

Akito: Would you settle for finding out I'm alive? Merry Christmas, nutbar.

Yurika: I'll consider that a marriage proposal

Seiya: Hmm, unmanned mechs aren't supposed to have seats or sound systems in them, are they?

Ruri: Time for a soliloquy. "Oh my gawd." That will be all.

On to Episode 14: Let's Go With Hot-Blooded Anime