Episode 12: Those Unforgettable Days

Ruri: Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the UEF system. Help, help, we're being exploited!

Akatsuki, Akito, Ryoko, Hikaru and Izumi: Yo Joe! *ZOOM*

Akatsuki: Missiles away! HUH?

Akito: Um, they're not supposed to go backwards, are they?

Ryoko: The fuck?



Ruri: Um, everything's functioning normally.

Yurika: Knock knock Ruri, anybody home? WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOOT THE UEF.

Ruri: It ain't no thang. We can't stop shooting anyway, or the Jovians are going to mess us up.

Ryoko: Eh, at least we're only hitting them with HALF the missiles.

Yurika: Send more Aestivalis!

Ruri: No more pilots, idiot.

Jun: Oh baby, my big chance has finally arrived! Here I go-AAAACCCKCKKK!! *CRUNCH*

Akito: Um, nice crash, Jun.

Jun: (Unfortunately, my neck is too screwed up to talk. Fortunately, I learned the Funky Hand Jive at an Academy party!)

Akito: Well, uh, remember to buckle up and wear a pilot suit, genius.

Jun: (If I could talk right now, I'd say: TELL YURIKA I LLLLLLOOOOOVE HER/

Inez: Oh, do shut up. Or hold still. Whatever.

Izumi: Um, I blew up a battleship.


Hikaru: Um, I shot down 50 UEF fighters, one of whom had a pilot with…


Hikaru: …on his helmet.


Akatsuki: I set a record with 78, which I'd be bragging about if 62 of them weren't friendlies. Oh well.

Prospector: Just shoot me now.

Akito: I didn't hit that many friendlies, but I did kinda sorta blow up our fuel depot.

Prospector: I'll be convulsing on the ground if you need me.

Inez: Buck up, this is what insurance is for, right?

Prospector: But we OWN the insurance company. *BAWL*

Admiral Munetake: So who fucked up? The pilots?

Akatsuki: Wasn't us.

Admiral Munetake: The mechanics?

Seiya: Wasn't us.

Megumi: Um, a UEF ship is on the way to investigate our computer.

Ruri: And we just shot a missile at it and blew it up.

Omoikane: Yee haw! HAL-9000 ain't got NOTHING on me, baby!

UEF team: You have a very bratty computer that hasn't forgotten fighting against us way back in episode 3.

Ruri: And you want to wipe out its memory… predictably stupid.

Admiral Munetake: Well, I say we do it, since your traitorous asses are going to belong to us now.

Akatsuki: I agree. It's just a machine right? It's not like it has real memories…

Ruri: Here we go, we've got a "what it means to be human" episode. Great.

Nadesico logo: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. Quack.

UEF programmers: Here come the Men In White/
We won't let you remember! *type type type*

Yurika, Ruri and Seiya: The UEF are barking up the wrong tree. Akito, go save the computer.

Akito: Phooey.

Seiya: Welcome to my zzzzzzeeeeecret laboratory of unopened Star Trek models!

Akito, Yurika and Ruri: This stinks. Literally.

Seiya: Not only that, I made a model of the captain in her bunny suit and I have a Macintosh! FIGHT THE EVIL MICROSOFT NERGAL ESTABLISHMENT! Oh, and check out the SD Aestivalis program avatar.

Thousands of rabid fangirls: OMG KAWAII.

Akito: This sounds weird coming from me, but… LOOOOSER. Dude! I'm in Tron! Or maybe the MIT library. And I'm a superdeformed Aestivalis to boot! This is cool.

Ruri: Hi, I'll be the adorable superdeformed sidekick on your shoulder.

Akito: Well, uh, lead on.

Ruri: I've got arrow signs. Aren't I adorable?

Thousands of perverted fanboys: *sigh*

Akito: I think I'm getting pushed around again.

Ruri: You're a sucker, yes, but a very thoughtful sucker.

Akito: The computer's a tree? What is this, Tenchi Muyo?

Ruri: This is where we start getting REALLY DEEP AND PHILOSOPHICAL. But only for this episode. So, like, get rid of the icky branches and leave the nicey-nicey ones.

Akito: So this is it, I'm a virtual reality gardener. *snip snip* Huh? AAACKKK! *WHACK*

Ruri: Welp, fact of the matter is, to save the computer, you have to beat Gekigangar in a fight.

Akito: Dude, this is getting pretty fucked up right here.

Ruri: Please? Pretty please? I'm seriously groveling here.

Yurika: Whip that Gekigangar junk!

Akito: J-JUNK? Silence, Philistine!

Seiya: Stop being indignant and kick its ass.

Akito: To defeat it… I must BECOME it. Sweet.

Ruri: That's virtual reality for you.

Akito: Um, this doesn't seem to be working.

Ruri: Akito, use the Force! Er, the Obnoxious Fanboy Backwards And Forwards Knowledge Of The Series!


Ruri: Okay, go toast the UEF program now.

Akito: Okey doke! *BOOM*

Seiya: Welp, that about wraps it up. Almost pathetically easy for one wuss to dismantle a computer's self-preservation programs and a ludicrously complex eraser at the same time, don't you think?

Akito: And if it wasn't for Gai's obnoxious Gekigangar fandom and you meddling kids I never would have known how to defeat it.

Ruri: Akito, you're still a kid on the inside. And I'm falling for you. Shit.

Admiral Munetake: I've been suckered, and I don't caaaa-ree…

Yurika: Huh huh-huh… dumbass.

Omoikane: Those unforgettable days/
For them/
I live.

Ruri: Word to your mother, Omoikane. You should submit that to that Bud Light poetry.

Kia Asamiya: Welp, that wraps up the heartwarming comedy episodes. Time to get back to hopelessly screwing up their lives.

Ruri: Mr. Asamiya, you suck

On to Episode 13: There Is No Single Truth