Episode 10: The Dangers Of "Femininity"

Ruri: Lust and geometry do not mix. Yurika and Akito both have three different people chasing them, and I'm not sure how much longer I can resist being sucked into hormonal idiocy. Oh, and I still hate the new crewmembers.


Aqua: Doo da doo dah doo… gonna catch me a man with a Chulip…

Admiral Munetake: A new kind of Chulip just hit Earth, and we have to go investigate it. It's about damn time they noticed the sparkling job I've been doing here. SO NATURALLY, YOU BASTARDS DECIDED TO IGNORE MY BRIEFING GAGHAHGVHBXCBHHGSHGSH

Inez: Might want to lay off trying to brag at 2 AM, SIR.

Minato: You could probably sleep too, Admiral, if you'd quit snorting cocaine.

Admiral Munetake: BUT THEN HOW COULD I SPAZ AT YOU??????

Erina: Earplugs are looking like a good investment. Sleep tight, Minato! Hmm, tropical island. This is just a WEE bit too convenient for an undisciplined and extremely nubile crew like this.

Keiji Goto: This episode is my shining moment, boys! Ready those screenshot programs for the beach segment!

Thousands of perverted fanboys: Teach us, master!

Yurika: Doesn't this meal look scrumptious? Not as scrumptious as my butt in these tiny shorts, but still.

Howmei: Ohhhh, you wacky kids!

Yurika: Meanwhile, I'll fantasize about Akito loving my cooking until I burn the damn thing from inattention.

Howmei: OOOHHHH, you wacky kids!

Jun: Time to do my patriotic duty as an anime character and eat noodles from a cup. How depressing. I'm a loser.

Yurika: Hi, Jun!

Jun: SWEET MOTHER OF GOD SHE COOKED SOMETHING FOR ME-oh shit, it's for Akito isn't it?

Ruri: I have a feeling you know what I'm going to say.

Yurika: Hey Akito, what Gekigangar plot corollary-er, episode are you watching now?

Akito: Eh, the one where Ken falls for an enemy pilot when she gets amnesia because she's like the freaking perfect girl. Oh by the way, her name's Aquamarine. I'm not sure WHY that's important, but…

Yurika: Oh, we'll be bludgeoned over the head with it repeatedly the rest of the episode, so I'm sure it'll be clear by the end. Anyway, want to try MY home cooking?

Akito: Er, you sure you didn't steal this from a hazardous waste facility? Oh sweet mother of god, this is the worst thing I've ever eaten. I'll react sensitively by letting out a scream so high-pitched it makes Yurika's voice sound like Barry White's.

Megumi: Akito, I'm here to save you! Try my organic energy drink!

Akito: What the hell, it's liquid at least… ulp… YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yurika: Uhm. People's faces don't normally turn that many colors at once, do they?

Megumi: Just what are you insinuating, bitch? I only added about 17 different extremely disgusting but highly nutritious additives to it.

Akito: Urge to kill… rising…

Yurika and Megumi: Um, ta-ta.

Jun: There we go, I'm foaming at the mouth. MUCH more dignified.

Inez: When did everyone start getting food poisoning?

Howmei: Oohhhhh, those wacky kids!

Yurika and Megumi: Okay, we're back! And it's edible this time! WHOOPS! *SPLAT*

Spike Spencer: Oh for crying out loud, three of these soul-shattering screams in two and a half minutes? I don't want to hear Jessica Calvello bitching about her voice going out in Excel Saga NOW. Oh well, here goes…


Yurika and Megumi: Ulp.

Akito: The hell with this, I want a girl like Aquamarine. Yup. Sure do. That would be awesome. Yep.

Yurika, Megumi, Minato and Ruri: We be beachin'! Aw yeah.

Entire crew: YEEEEEE-HAWWWWWW!!!

Ryoko: To the water, girls!

Hikaru and Izumi: Yeah!

Akatsuki: To the beach, guys!

Jun and Seiya: Yeah!

Erina: Pardon me, but I will not just be a wet blanket, I will be a sopping wet scratchy wool blanket on a cold-shower temperature rainy day on your parade. If you don't work, you don't get paid. And no horseplay in the water, children. And sex on the beach is RIGHT OUT. …Well, I can't say I'm TOO surprised I got ignored, so I may as well ignore this crap too. GET A LOAD OF *ME* BOYS!

Yurika and Megumi: Splash fight!

Ruri: Laptop.

Howmei, Minato and Inez: Suntan!

Ryoko, Akatsuki, Izumi and Hikaru: Volleyball!

Prospector and Goat: Chess. By the way, did anyone REALLY want to see us in Speedos?

Seiya: Concession stand!

Jun: Gross food!

Akito: Mope.

Erina: Hey, I thought you could use some food and cleavage while I pump you for information.


Erina: Um, it can't be THAT bad… *CHOMP* Er, maybe it can.

Akito: Welcome to the jungle/
We got fun and games…

Aqua: And me. Hi there, stud muffin!

Akito: All this bad food must be going to my brain, I think I just met the perfect girl.

Nadesico logo: Well, kids, she's the ONLY one-off episodic adversary in the entire series. At least she's cute.

Admiral Munetake: JUST WHAT KIND OF B.S. ARE YOU SLACKERS TRYING TO PULL-shit, a sinkhole.

Akatsuki: Sweeeet! Sand burial victim-I mean, volunteer!!!

Ryoko, Izumi and Hikaru: Bitchin'!


Prospector: Water's a better sound insulator than I thought.

Erina and Goat: Sho'nuff.

Admiral Munetake: You're even more heartless than me BALGHALGRHGGHHRHGHLRBUBLLRBHGH.

Akito: Dude, she's rich and she's dead sexy! Name's Akito Tenkawa, by the way.

Aqua: Aqua Crimson. Cue the angelic choir.

Yurika: Welcome to the jungle/
It gets worse here every day

Megumi: You learn to live like an animal/
In the jungle where we play… eh?

Yurika and Megumi: Oh, it's YOU. Guess it's about time we used the Tenchi Muyo eye spark thingy, huh?

Megumi: D'oh! A hat!

Yurika: A FEMALE hat!

Megumi: Truce?

Yurika: Truce.

Aqua: Sorry I had to whip up a three-course buffet just like that… hope it's edible?

Akito: This is the SHEEEOTTT. So you're an orphan, huh? Sorry about that. Marry me?

Aqua: That was the idea, wuss-boy.

Erina: Back to work!

Akatsuki: Yeah, yeah, bee-yoch. All those in favor of leaving the admiral?

Entire crew: Aye.

Erina: Um, captain?

Jun: Akito? Megumi? Shit.

Hikaru: Menage a trois, boys and girls! Hee hee! ^___^;;

Ruri: Um, this island is just a wee bit fishy. Seems the Crimsons own it.

Erina: D00D! Those guys are LOADED! They built the Big Barrier and lots of military stuff.

Inez: Yeah, but their daughter is a complete psycho who's prone to kidnapping people via drugged food.

Ruri: 0 RALLY.

Akatsuki: Um, what's with the force field around the Chulip?

Hikaru: Hmm, Crimson Corp. logos on the generators.

Ryoko: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Izumi: I think so, but where can we find rubber pants our size?

Aqua: So would you stay with me forever and ever? Secluded beach home, good cooking! Huh? Huh?

Akito: Well hell, I don't see why no-

Yurika and Megumi: TWO-TIMER!!!!!!!

Aqua: Grr. No more Ms. Angel. *BEEP*

Ryoko: Um, extremely bad ass robot coming out of the Chulip.

Erina: Take it out, duh.

Yurika and Megumi: You're going DOWN hussy!

Akito: Uh, no, I can't allow that, I'm in full fledged Gekigangar hallucination mode now. I'm TOTALLY DOWN with this chick, Ms. Nutbar and Ms. Slut.

Yurika and Megumi: By the way, if she's Australian how come she doesn't have an accent?

Robot: Here, let me offer an engagement gift of a few hundred missiles. *BOOM*

Aqua: Woo-hoo! We're gonna die! Yay!

Akito: Are you on crack?

Aqua: Nope, my lifelong goal has been to get blown up with my true love! And speaking of drugs, the ones I slipped in your food should be kicking in right about… now.

Yurika and Megumi: HUH?!

Akito: Er, can't move.

Aqua: Being rich and fulfilled sucks! I want to suffer! So Akito and I are going to kick the bucket together.

Akito: If you want pain that bad try some S&M;! Jesus, you're crazier than the rest of the female cast combined.

Robot: Knock knock, this is wish fulfillment calling!

Ryoko: Time for Love Interest #3 to make her dramatic entrance! Eat knife, robot! Huh? Who's THAT bitch?

Akito: Now you got me caught in the act/



Yurika and Megumi: Yay Ryoko! Girl power!


Akatsuki: OH MAMA, Ryoko. Well, if the captain doesn't pan out, I know who I'm asking out next.

Aqua: NNNNNOOO!!!! Akito's leaving me? And I didn't even get to feel the pain and suffering of being bitch-slapped down by those other three hussies!

Yurika and Megumi: You ate Crazy Bitch's cooking, you can eat ours. GOT IT?

Ryoko: What the hell, I'll throw my hand in too.


Yurika, Megumi and Ryoko: AKIIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun, Seiya and Akatsuki: Akito, you suck. If you don't want 'em, we'll take 'em!

Yurika, Megumi and Ryoko: DREAM ON.

Akito: Maybe I really WOULD be better off dead.

Aqua: Ooh! Hey, new true love! Since you're, er, not going anywhere, care to stay here with me and drown when the tide comes in?


Keiji Goto: I feel fulfilled.

Thousands of perverted fanboys: We feel horny.

Kia Asamiya: : I feel rich. The ratings for that episode were through the roof. There will be a sequel, Mr. Goto. WITH SINGING.

Kia Asamiya and Keiji Goto: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

On to Episode 11: Finding Yourself In A "Routine Plot"?