Episode 7: The Song That You Will Sing One Day

Ruri: We really fucked up this time and a bunch of innocent people got killed because of it. Lame.

Yurika: Wheee! The producers finally found a costume that could make me look unsexy! This is NOT what I had in mind when they told me I'd be a "bunny girl!"

Goat: WHAT THE FUCK???!!!

Jun: What was that about being unsexy??? OH MAMA!!!!!!

Minato: Aw, isn't Ruri cute? As cute as a gray-haired golden-eyed antisocial 12-year old in coveralls could be, anyway?

Megumi: Great, I'm having bad flashbacks of my early days in the acting industry. Thanks a lot, captain.

Yurika: So like, just how does the ship work, Ruri? I'm an idiotic bunny so I don't understand it.

Ruri: I can see that.

Yurika: Huh? Speak up!

Ruri: Yadda yadda yadda, potential energy. I hope everyone's paying attention, there will be a quiz.

Inez: CUT! Ruri, just who the hell taught you how to act? Try to at least put on a fake air of enthusiasm.

Goat: Just what the hell do you people think you're doing making a TV program at a time like this? The ship is all fucked up, we're trapped on Mars, and you're prattling about the doodads around here?

Inez: Let's just keep in mind whose big-shot plans GOT the ship in this shape in the first place. The least we can do is try to explain to everyone what happened.

Goat: Urp.

Yurika: Yes! This is my punishment for fucking up and letting all those people die! Even though Mr. Prospector said two episodes ago that children weren't allowed on the Nadesico, I will still dress like this and record a children's program to atone for my sin!

Goat: Being unflappable is highly overrated. Eyebrow twitch time.

Inez: Enough with the self-castigation already. It's Nergal's fault, not yours.

Ruri: Ms. Fressange, you are-this sounds strange coming from me-weird.

Inez: Aw, well you know, being found abandoned in a desert when you're 8 years old with no memories has a tendency to do that to you.

Akito: Oh yeah, Yurika, take it all-WHACCKGHGH!!! Why the hell was I dreaming that? I mean, it's not like I LIKE her or anything… OH MY GOD SOMEONE STOLE MY GEKIGANGAR MODEL OH THE HUMANITY!!!!

Admiral Fukube: Doody-doo *SMACK* OW. Oh, it's you, Tenkawa. Nice to, er, bump into you. Care for some tea? Of the spiked variety.

Akito: Um, any particular reason you're staring me down? OH MY GOD THOSE TV BASTARDS HAVE MY MODEL WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH WOMEN THESE DAYS????

Yurika: Oh hey Akito, glad to see you're so concerned about me! Um, why are you sweating so much?

Inez: So, phase transitioning is pretty spiffy, but we didn't actually invent it, we just found it.

Ruri: Uh, what?

Goat: How the hell did I wind up wearing bunny ears?

Minato: I don't know, but it sure is a turn-on!

Prospector: Jolly good show, everyone! Now turn it off, we have to conserve power, after all.

Inez, Ruri, Yurika, Akito and Goat: If you say so, tightwad.

Hikaru: Eeeew! Ryoko, Izumi's sleeping with her eyes open again! And the sad part is that's just scratching the surface of her weirdness!

Seiya: Ohhh yeah! A perfect model of Yurika in the bunny suit. Big bucks on eBay when I get back, yessir!

Inez: Wow, a Tenkawa on a Nergal ship! I never thought I'd see that.

Akito: Care to elaborate?

Inez: No, I'd much rather look you over VERY closely. I think I've seen you before…

Yurika: AHEM. Get your asses up here for a briefing.

Akito: Okay, NOW care to elaborate?

Inez: Well, you see…

Yurika: Okay, so how exactly did a ship that was supposed to have been destroyed back in episode 2 wind up here?

Inez: Chulips are gates, remember, retard?

Minato: And that's probably why the other ship that was sucked in isn't here, it wound up somewhere else.

Yurika: Wow, don't we feel stupid. Let's check it out.

Prospector: Naaaaaah.

Akito: Okay, just a darn tootin' minute. I want to know exactly what the admiral had to do with the Chulip falling on the Utopia colony.

Prospector: Uh, how about later?

Akito: Uh, how about NOW.

Yurika: Well, duh, everyone knows he was in charge.

Akito: I didn't. Admiral, you bastard! Eat my fist! *POW CHOKE THROTTLE*

Admiral Fukube:

Seiya: Okay Tenkawa, you went a little bit overboard, so I hope you're not TOO upset about being bound and gagged.

Hikaru: Dark skies gonna clear up, PUT on a happy faaaaace…

Ryoko: Now that's what I call balls.

Izumi: Or idiocy.

Jun: Tenkawa's a loose cannon and he needs to be punished!

Yurika: You really shouldn't have said that Jun, my dirty little mind is going to take it in COMPLETELY the wrong way…

Prospector: In the meantime, to the North Pole we go, to try to get a new engine.

Admiral Fukube: I guess I have to pretend I'm not severely rattled. Send out the girls.

Akito: : MPH MMMGH MMMPH! (Admiral, you suck!)

Nadesico logo: I'm running out of funny things to say.

Ryoko: Well, as long as I'm out here, I may as well whine about my frame's low speed.

Izumi: Never fear, I'll cheer you up with some more awful puns. Hey wait a minute, something's coming up.


Izumi: Great, a ground-digging bot. Hey Ryoko, look alive!

Ryoko: How about I look confused instead? GACK!

Robot: All right, prepare to be drilled. I was gonna say "probed," but that sounded much too dirty.


Izumi:*BOOM* I heard that!!!

Hikaru: Me too! You do realize, Ryoko, that we can NEVER let you live this down?

Ryoko: Urge to kill… rising…

Prospector: Well, we absolutely have to take that base back. Five Chulips-Tulips-whatever surrounding it or not.

Yurika: Um, that's just a wee bit stupid.

Admiral Fukube: Well, let's just use the old ship, duh.

Akito: It figures I'd be dragged along with that old bastard.

Inez: Buck up, wuss boy. Now let me drop some technical jargon that basically boils down to the fact that when a ship moves through a Chulip, it gets to its destination HELLA fast.

Akito: Um, you MIGHT want to watch out for that Jovian Grasshopper.

Admiral Fukube: Sorry if I'm stealing your thunder, kid, but… *BLAM* All right, go clean the exhaust nozzles so we can fire it up. Ms. Fressange, explain it.

Inez: Um, it doesn't LOOK like anything's wrong with the nozzles, sir-HUH?

Admiral Fukube: I shall now be incredibly casual about the fact that I'm pointing the Crocus' cannons at the Nadesico. Now get your asses into that open Chulip.

Minato: Er, something doesn't add up here.

Akito: He's trying to kill us to hide his mistakes!

Inez: Um, then why aren't YOU dead already?

Yurika: All right, into the Chulip we go then.

Prospector: What? Running away? Yeeewww yellow bastard!

Yurika: Get stuffed, Stuffy.

Akito: Okay, I've said it before Yurika, but I really mean it now: You are CRAZY.

Yurika: Akito, get a clue.

Admiral Fukube: In the meantime, I'll cover your escape, whether Tenkawa likes it or not. Guess this is the end of the line for me.

Yurika: Aw shit, not another character death!


Akito: You're all being stupid. He was no hero. Just a murderer.

Howmei: Akito, would you stop being such a self-righteous dickhead? He intended to die here to atone.

Akito: Watch me not care.

Megumi: Wow, what a troubled old man.

Ryoko: Well, it was a bit cowardly to go off and die without accepting responsibility for what he did.

Yurika: Yeah, but now we're REALLY fucked.

Extremely Mysterious Nergal Chairman: So the Mars trip didn't go well. No sweat, it's all part of the plan. I guess we're going to have to work with the UEF after all.

On to Episode 8: The Lukewarm "Cold Equation."