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Episode 4: Charmed By Aqua Space
Ruri: Okay, Mr. Yamada, you may have been crazy, but we owe you one. Akito: OH JESUS MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD FROM ONE STINKING GUNSHOT WOUND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ADVANCES IN MEDICINE IN THE LAST 200 YEARS WHY GOD WHY WHEN DID MY LIFE BECOME A FUCKING KORN SONG??????!!!!!
Yurika: This show is getting pretty depressing. Isn't this supposed to be a comedy? Seiya: Whatever, captain. I'm getting horny over technical specs, if you don't mind. Howmei: You call that insensitive? Watch this, Seiya old chum: I hope I wind up hating the new pilots so I don't feel bad when they kick it! Yurika: I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO POINT OUT WHAT COMPLETE ASSHOLES YOU TWO ARE BEING RIGHT NOW-- Megumi: Too bad, you have to come to the bridge. Ha ha! Akito: Well, there goes all Gai's stuff. I'm alone again, naturally. At least things can't get worse. Megumi: Hi, space colony Satsuke Midori 2! Nice to meet y-- Satsuke Midori 2: KAAAABBBBOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!! Megumi: I guess it's my turn to freak out now. OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALL DEAD WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COMEDY IS THIS SHOW SUPPOSED TO BE ANYWAY????!!!!
Jun: Oh goody, we have an intruder. I certainly hope it's a tentacle monster and not an obnoxious female pilot. Goat: Security alert. Everyone arm yourselves. Megumi, Yurika, Minato and Jun: Oh yeah, baby! We get to pack heat! Akito: Something in my ceiling is crying. Hikaru: Oh my god, someone's watching Gekigangar 3!!!! I guess I should introduce myself--WHOOPS! *CRASH* Hey there! Hope you don't mind my breasts on your face. Now watch as I swing into rabid fangirl mode! *Ahem* I'M GONNA WRITE A SELF-INSERTION GEKIGANGAR FANFIC WITH JOE AND KEN AS GAY LOVERS!!!!
Akito: Am I totally out of line in wondering who the hell you are? Hikaru: Oh yeah, my bad! I'm Hikaru Amano, here to replace Yamada as the resident psychotic anime fan. I also pilot an Aestivalis on the side. Have no fear, I'm here to save the show from turning into Teen Angst In Spaaaaaaace!!!!
Akito: Whatever. Yurika: Hey, uh, Goat, don't blast that unidentified object, it's just an Aestivalis. Goat: Aw damn, a white bow for towing. Minato: And isn't it just the CUTEST little bow? Ryoko: Hi there, everyone. I'm Ryoko Subaru. I'll be acting like a cranky bitch and walking around in my sports bra for your creepy voyeuristic pleasure. The fact that I act just like Asuka from Evangelion and have her voice actress is mere coincidence and should be ignored... or I'll knock your fucking teeth in. Hey "captain", grab my luggage!
Hikaru: Hey there, Ryoko! I'm here to mess up your cool! *PHWEEEEEET* Izumi: Hey, don't forget me, I'm coming out of the closet...er, box. Yurika: This is... Jun: Getting pretty... Goat: Fucked up... Akito: Right here.
Ryoko: Oh yeah, that's Izumi. Just so you know, she makes me want to scream and hit her. Izumi: Anyway, my schtick is throwing out puns that no one but me gets. get it? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Yurika: Well, I guess it's my turn to wonder: Why me, God? Nadesico Logo: Buck buck b'gaaawwwwk. **** Yurika: Well, since you left an Aestivalis behind, your first mission is to get your dyke ass back there and get it. Ryoko: I guess this is a good point to start whining. Hikaru: Oh yeah, I kinda busted your hull wide open when I came here. Goat: Okay everybody, you can put the guns down. Hikaru: So this dorky Tenkawa guy's a pilot too? Shyeah, right! Let's kick him out of the briefing. Akito: You do that! Er, no, wait, don't do that! Er...SHIT! Megumi: We should all be making love, not war. Especially with Akito! Akito: Mind if I join you for some commiseration? Megumi: Sure. You know, not everyone is as heartless as you think they are. Akito: Yes they are. You're a rare bird to care....Say, how come the animators are drawing my lips now? Megumi: You should have seen enough anime to figure out what happens when they do that. Take me, pilot boy! Akito: OF COURSE!!!! Now it's my turn to completely misinterpret! You weren't coming on to me, just giving me encouragement! I've got to buck up and be strong and be the best damn pilot I can!
Megumi: Um, yeah...well, far be it from me to be a wet blanket. I think something ELSE is wet now, though..... Ruri: Uh, time out, this is a sci-fi show. Back to the mission at hand. Ryoko: We out, homies. Hikaru and Izumi: Rodger-Dodger. Yurika: Oh Akito, I suck. If only I could have been there for you, you could be piloting with them right now-- Akito: Oneside! Pilot number 4 is heading out! Yurika: Oooookay, that I didn't quite expect. Ryoko: All right girls, in we go. Now we're playing with portable power, so watch your batteries. Hikaru: Lookey lookey, I found it! Gee, I wonder what those ominous red eyes mean. Akito: I'm here to help! Uh, except I'm not too good at landing in zero G.... *CRASH WHAM SPLAT WHANG* Izumi: Wow, that was undignified. Wasting all that power too. Ryoko: Stupid Shinji--I mean, Akito! Outta my way! *PUNT* Akito: Dammit, Asuka, --I mean, Ryoko! Don't talk to me that way, you dumb rookie! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!
Hikaru: Um, Aestivalises can't move without a pilot, can they? Izumi Duh, maybe the Jovians took it over. Invasion of the robot snatchers! *snicker* Ryoko: Okay, let's kick it's butt! *BOOM* Oops, I just knocked it towards the Nadesico. Tenkawa, I really didn't mean it when I made fun of you, OK? Now please save our asses from being responsible for blowing up the ship.
Akito: Oh, what the hell. This one goes out to Gai Daigoji! *BBOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!*
Entire Crew: Akito, you ROCK! Akito: Maybe piloting isn't so bad.... oh, Megumi! Hi! Megumi: Way to go! You are such a studmuffin, Akito! Pucker up! Akito: I'm not quite sure exactly WHY I should kiss you, but if a pretty anime girl wants a kiss, you give her one. Akito and Megumi: *SMOOCH* Yurika: Um. Akito and Megumi: *SMOOCH* Yurika: I HATE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
