Episode 3: A Goodbye That Came Too Soon!

Ruri: Well, Yurika wasn't nearly as stupid as we all thought she was. Now we're on our way to Mars. There's just one teeny problem: An impenetrable nuclear-powered satellite energy barrier.

UEF Conference:We're in agreement, then. The Nadesico crew are a bunch of snot-nosed punks who are screwing up our wartime unity. Their asses are in the sling.

Yurika: Hey everyone, check out my kimono!

UEF Conference: DAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN, you'ze a fine mothafucka!

Yurika: Oh, you big sillies. So would you do a favor for the cute girl and turn off your satellites? I might let you see some cleavage...


Yurika: Okay, be that way! Ta ta!

Admiral Misumaru: Just in case anyone forgot, I still have the hots for my daughter.

Missiles: BOOOOOM.

Akito: D-damn, t-those UEF b-bastards are ruining our G-Gekigangar session!

Gai: M-Maybe so, but at least w-we can drop a few plot p-points about how the ship's distortion field works.

Akito: Not like it'll ever come up again...

Gai: Anyway, I'll make sure we make it to space no matter WHAT the cost!

Soundtrack: Bum bum BUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Gai: Huh? What was that?

Megumi: This is bo-ring. Didn't it only take NASA like, 10 minutes to get into space 200 years ago?

Minato: Perhaps, but since when do we do things the same way as those xenophobic arrogant American chowderheads?

Ruri: Actually, it's because our Phase Transition Engine can't do shit until we get to 20,000 kilometers altitude.

Yurika: Whoops, am I showing too much leg again? Guess that means it's time to visit Akito!


Yurika: Eh?

Gai: You see? That's the way a real man should die! A noble sacrifice in battle! I sure hope I go out that way!


Gai: The hell?

Yurika: Guys these days have their priorities all wrong.

Admiral Munetake: These guys are total amateurs at taking prisoners. As soon as the shit goes down, boys, we're gonna bust out.

Admiral Misumaru: You do realize, Jun, that if you become a pilot for the UEF, you're probably going to get killed trying to stop the Nadesico. I'd advise you not to throw away your promising career as the show's whipping boy.

Jun: Talk to the hand, Admiral. Doctor, gimme the damn nanomachine injection.

Admiral Misumaru: Oh well.

Jun: And now I'm a Delphinium pilot. Check out the Darth Vader eyeshade...pretty cool, huh?

Akito: I'll have to remember to rip that off for the movie.

Jun: Okay, Yurika, it's time for some tough love. Let's roll, boys!

Nadesico Logo: DOOBIE DOOBIE DOOO....

Gai: All right, time to kick butt again. Hope you guys don't mind if I ignore every order you give me.

Seiya: Just shoot me now.


Gai: NOW what?

Akito: I don't feel like fighting this time. Anime marathon time!

Jun: Finallly, I get to be a bad-ass too!

Gai: Time to get it ON!

Yurika: How long till the PT Engine is kicking?

Ruri: Not even close.


Seiya: Look, Yamada, the least you can do is call armaments by their REAL NAMES when you request them...

Gai: Killjoy. Whoops, those bastards blew up my new frame before I could combine with it...roll with the punch baby!!! Speaking of punching...POW!!! *BOOM*

Ruri: You just got youirself surrounded, genius.

Akito: It's okay, I'm getting used to pulling his ass out of the fire.

Jun: Yurika, turn the ship around. Pretty please?

Gai: Put a sock in it! *BOOM*

Yurika: Sorry, Jun. I'm going to have to diss you once again.

Jun: Aw shit... I'll let you go, just let me at Tenkawa, okay?!


Jun: One on one, Tenkawa! You and me! Mano-a-mano! Wuss to, um, super-wuss!

Megumi: Which one is the super-wuss?

Prospector: I don't care, at least it's cheap.

Gai: This situation is too cool for mortal belief! I'll keep them off you, Akito! *BOOM BOOM*

Yurika: So, like, why is Jun all pissed at Akito?

Prospector: Captain, get a clue.

Megumi: Well, Jun IS your boyfriend, isn't he?

Yurika: Um, AS IF.

Minato, Megumi, Prospector, Admiral Fukube and Goat: Oh, never mind then. Don't we feel stupid.

Ruri: No comment. We're still not even close.

Akito: If you want Yurika so damn bad, you can have her, Jun! Just stop this.

Jun: Yurika's only part of it! I want to be a hero!

Akito So did I, but then I found out it sucks.

Jun: Whatever, killjoy. Prepare to die! It's my duty to kick your booty!


Jun: This is for your own good! Really!

Akito: Aw shit, I'm out of energy.

Gai: Ditto.

Jun: C'mere, you big battleship, gimme a hug!

Yurika: Um, what's he doing?

Jun: I'm out of weapons, so I'm gonna have to stop the ship by colliding with it. Of course, I'll also kick the bucket. What a drag. I didn't even last five episodes.

Akito and Gai: Hope you don't mind if we save your suicidal ass.

Seiya: We are officially cooking with gas.

Yurika: Bring the boys back home!

Akito: Well, somehow or other we managed to dodge the bullet the episode's title threw at us.

Gai: Oh yeah baby! I'm young, talented and voiced by Brett Weaver. There's nothing that can stop me now!

Akito and Jun: Whatever, dude, whatever.

Prospector: Well, the UEF was so hell-bent on keeping us boxed in that Earth's power grid is now hopelessly screwed up. Nice going, boys.

Jun: Oh man, I've really done it this time.

Yurika: Aw, don't sweat it, my wonderful and extremely platonic friend!

Jun: Why am I glad to be alive again?

Gai: Being alive is great! Much better than being dead! Unless you die a hero, that is. Hey, where are you UEF guys going? Aren't you supposed to be prisoners?

Admiral Munetake: Whoops, you weren't supposed to see us. Oh well, dead men tell no tales. Shoot now, ask questions later.

Gun: *BLAM*

Gai: Well, after everyone thought Jun was going to kick it, I'm the one who winds up dead. And in a lousy, unheroic way. Even if the gunshot didn't kill me, the irony would.

On to Episode 4: Charmed By Aqua Space