Episode 21: Reaction of Fortune

Hitomi: Well, here I am, about to nobly sacrifice myself...

Eriya: YOINK!

Van: Oh no you don't!

Naria: Um, weren't we supposed to be keeping Scrawny Dragon Boy and the girl from the Mystic Moon away from each other?

Eriya: Oh, what harm could letting them sharing a dramatic, slow-motion, shoujo-esque moment cause to invincible, Enhanced Luck warriors such as ourselves?

Fate Redirector: Um, I don't feel so good...

Naria and Eriya: Neither do we. Ugh.

Folken: Girls! Make like the French and retreeeeeeat!

Naria: We're trying! Oh no! I blew an engine! Wile E. Coyote, have mercy on my soooouuulllllll!!!

Naria: Hey, whaddaya know? I'm alive. But isn't my hair the wrong color? I've heard of people's hair changing TO gray after a traumatic incident, but never the other way around!

Hitomi: All this wanton, unecessary destruction is my fault.

Millerna: No, Hitomi. It's MY fault for asking you to foretell my future.

Hitomi: Oh sure, Millerna! BE understanding and forgiving! Make me feel like even MORE of a heel why don't you?

Emperor Dornkirk: What's the deal, Folken? How come you're not spinelessly towing the line the way you used to?

Folken: Oh, maybe it's because I see you giving the people I care about the same indifferent, imperious treatment you give to everyone else. I'm starting to think you might be kind of a jerk.

Eriya: My psychic Twin Sense tells me that Naria is allright...

Naria: I'm better than alright. I'm in enemy territory and kicking ass..*coff coff* (Okay.. So maybe it's not as much of a walk in the park as it used to be before I had my blood replaced with Luck Juice.)

Van: Well, it seems the enemy has found out about Hitomi having the Force and all.

Allen: Yup. They'll try to nab her again. And there's nothing we can do to beat their Enhanced Luck soldiers.

Van: There IS something we can do. We can kill their leader.

Allen: Well ain't THAT a coincidence, Van. Their leader has the same last name as you...Waitaminute... You mean to tell me that tall, dark and creepy is YOUR BRO?

Hitomi: Oh damn! I tripped and I fell. And my shoelace is broken. What ELSE could go wrong?

Naria: YOINK!

Hitomi: Oh........right...

Merle: Gee. Look who got herself kidnapped again. Who's surprised?

Allen: So, it seems yet another significant female figure in my life has pulled a disappearing act. Bottom line I guess, is that women just shouldn't get close to me unless that want to either die or get abducted.

Naria: Okay, girly. Don't try to talk or you're dead.

Hitomi: Okay. I'll just be real quiet and have a few visions about your traumatic past. GEEZ, doesn't anyone on this planet ever have a happy childhood? And what's with all the constant war and death? This planet makes Somalia look like Disneyworld...

Naria: Yay! I found a horsecart for us to escape with! I guess this means my streak of bad luck has finally end--

Horsecart: *CRASH*

Naria: Damn... Limbs...crushed.... organs....leaking vital fluids....slight headache....

Hitomi: Aw, poor kitty. Let me help.

Naria: I refuse to allow myself to be compromised by your compassionate, endearing pluckiness. Now, march, bitch!

Emperor Dornkirk: Yo, Folken. The girl from the mystic moon is about to appear. Send Goldy out after her.

Folken: But Eriya isn't feeling.......oh fine, Emperor Dork-kirk.

Van: Hey, it's one of those femmy, long-haired Zaibach guymelefs! Folken must be around here somewhere. Time to bust out The Force and find him...

Naria: Well, kid. I hope you're not prone to sea-sickness.

Hitomi: Hm. It would appear my whiny attempts to lure the kitty lady over to the Light Side are not proving successful. Maybe if we all believed really hard and clapped our hands, she'll become good. Come on, everybody! Clap your hands!

Van: Ha, Folken! I've toasted your ship's cloaking device! You're next on the list of things I make go ka-blooey!

Vione: So all it takes is one hit on one small device to bring me crashing down? Geez. This is fatal engineering of Death Star proportions here...

Eriya: Gee, sis. I suppose we both ought to be getting back to the Vione, what with our boyfriend being in it and it going ker-blooey and all...

Hitomi: Oh come on, girls. Won't you let me go? Sheesh. And here I thought I could use my fate-altering powers to make you both change..

Eriya: Well, we've both just aged 60 years. We'd call THAT a definite change. Although not really one for the better...

Naria: You know what, sis? This kid's a jinx. Let's just ditch her.


Folken: Why do you have to be such a thickie, Van? I was only trying to create a brave new world and stuff. Sure I destroyed thousands of lives in the process, but no pain, no gain.

Van: I'LL show YOU pain!

Eriya: No. I'LL show YOU pain, Dragon Boy. *SMASSHHH* Get lost!

Folken: Thanks for saving me, girls....Gee... You've looked.....um... better.

Eriya and Naria: Yeah. We know. We'd like to spend our last earthly moments thanking you for all you've done for us. (You know, the witholding sex and the replacing our blood with Luck Juice...) It's been a real trip. Bubbye now.

Emperor Dornkirk: Ooh. Tough luck about the catbabes, Folken honey. But hey, we just got ourselves a bunch of kick-ass new data from this reaction, so....

Folken: I'd like to kick YOUR ass you withered old fruitcake! I'm resigning and turning in my uniform! And I'm taking the company car!

Vione: Like, *BOOOOOM*

Van: Hm. A twinkly bit flew away from the wreckage of that burning fortress. That's probably my brother, as there was no one else alive on that ship who was of any consequence.

Folken: Tears of a clown... when there's no one around....

On to Episode 22: Angel with Black Wings