Episode 13: Red Fate

Hitomi: Well folks, the battle for the capital of Freid has already taken place off camera and...well... apparently, things didn't go too well for our side....

Dilandau: Allright! We totally kicked ass. But Van hasn't come out here to fight us yet. Weird...

Shester: The main army is marching into the castle. Shouldn't we be going with them?

Dilandau: No. I smell a rat... Let's let some soldiers who don't have names handle this job...

Folken: Dilandau's stopped in his tracks. He must smell a rat... Ten to one he sends in some nameless cannon fodder to handle the job.

No-Name Zaibach Soldiers: We're in the castle, and it looks like there's only one survivor here.

Borus: Hello there! So nice of you all to fall into my trap.*WHUNK* See ya in Hell, punks!

Castle: **CRUMBLE**

No-Name Zaibach Soldiers: AIEEEE!!!!

Dilandau: Dude! It was all a trap! These people let themselves get slaughtered wholesale just so their leader could get away! They have even less regard for life than I have! People of Freid! You TOTALLY ROCK, you suicidal sons o' bitches!!!

Chid: *sob* The castle's burning. Borus and everyone else down there are dead... I know THIS IS ANIME™, but isn't this just a little too much angst for a kid my age to be handling?

Van: Poor kid. Too bad his people decided to wuss out and sacrifice themselves instead of letting me defend them...

Duke Freid: Chid! This was our people's fate! Our defeat was foreordained. So shake it off and be a man, you crybaby!

Chid: Okay, Dad. I'll just keep my feelings bottled up inside. After all, I'm sure that's a perfectly healthy way for a boy my age to be handling stress.

Allen & Millerna: ... (*translation:* We are sad to see this happen and it sucks not being able to say anything about it.)

Emperor Dornkirk: Whoopsie. My Fate Predictor Thingie made a mistake. The thing we were looking for was to the west of the capital. Oh well. An entire city was destroyed; thousands are dead. I guess if you want to make an omelet...

Folken: So, what we're looking for is in Fortona Temple then... Right. I'm on it.

Freid: I've come here to Fortona Temple to ask you, the Zegu Clan, to help protect our legendary treasure.

Zegu Clan: Okay... Here's that phallic symbol we've been holding onto for you...

Duke Freid: Okay, Chid, Allen, everybody... I've a little slideshow that I want all you guys to see in this dark, creepy room over here.

Hitomi: Whoa. The crystal in that sword is projecting some kind of psychedelic image onto that far wall! Not that I'll be able to see it with these apocalyptic visions coming on and all...

Duke Freid: You see, the thing we have been protecting all this time has been the legendary power of Atlantis. The ancient Atlanteans were able to do all sorts of snifty-keen things with that power, but in time, they became too big for their own britches and--


Atlanteans: AAIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!! *FRY*

Freid: So, to keep that kind of thing from ever happening again, the power was sealed under this temple and my people were put in charge of guarding it. Any of this sinking in, sonny? After all, this is going to be YOUR responsibility one day.

Chid: So our job is to keep this here sword from falling into the hands of the bad guys. I gotcha. Seems simple enough.

Millerna: Yeah, but NOTHING in life is EVER as simple as it first seems, is it? (I now know THAT for damn sure...)

Hitomi: Someone stop the world. I wanna get off...*glurk*

Hitomi: *Sigh* There's Van and Escaflowne.... What in the name of Kawamori Shouji is that boy doing down there?

Van: Our minds are merging.... We are becoming.....one....

Escaflowne: Welcome, my son/
Welcome.... tooooo the machiiiiiiineeeee.......

Hitomi: Hey, Van..... whaddaya doing?

Van: Oh, Hi Hitomi. Sorry I was such an insensitive jerk to you earlier. I'm just Using the Force to help me improve my control over Escaflowne. If I get good at it, it'll probably mean that I won't have to rely on your unstable ass any--...um... I just remembered, I left a loadful of red t-shirts in the dryer! Bye! *runs off*

Hitomi: What's with him? Uh-oh. I'm having another vision. Hm..... It looks like we'll be in for some nasty weather soon...

Vision: Hi, Hitomi! It's me! Duke Freid. Only I'm all dead and covered with blood! Gee... This isn't looking so good as far as my odds of making it to the next episode are concerned, (much less my odds of making it to the obligatory post-Evil Empire-defeating celebratory slap-up binge at the end of the series.)


Allen: Hm. The rain's stopped. Oh, here comes Chid... I'll flash him a supportive look.

Chid: ... *smile*

Allen: ...Gee. Parenting is easy. (Especially when someone else does all the work.)

Hitomi: Whoa. My Spider Sense is tingling. This must mean the battle's beginning.

Reeden: The Zaibachians are coming! The Zaibachians are coming!

Merle: Are you there, God? It's me, Merle. Please don't let Lord Van bite the big one on the battlefield today.


Allen: They're breaking through! *SMASH*

Duke Freid: Zaibach assholes! *SHOOT*

Dilandau: Ooh. There's the Duke. *SMASH* *SLICE* Out of my way, you no-names! I wanna fight the big fish! *CRUSH* *SMASHHHHHH*

Freid: Kiss my ass, Red!

Dilandau: Okay, but first I'm going to carve you up like a Christmas ham!

Allen: Over my dead body! *BLOCK*

Dilandau: I BELIEVE that's the point of all this! *CRUSHHH* *SMASH*

Allen: Duke Freid! I'll handle this! Retreat already!

Kaja: Sire! What he said. You must withdraw!

Freid: No, Kaja. I've figured it out. God wants us to lose. He wants the power of Atlantis to be given to Zaibach. This is the beginning of a Brave New World. One an old fogey like me has no place in. Take care of Chid for me, okay? I'm confident my impending bloody death won't have any negative long-term effects on him...

Van: Ow! My body seems to be getting mysteriously injured every time Escaflowne gets damaged by the enemy. Hm. I wonder if that's something I should be concerned about...

Allen: Duke Freid! What the hell are you doing out there?

Freid: HEEEY Everyone! I'm the Duke of Freid! Please kill me!

Enemy Arrows: Okay. **PFFFFFTTT** *THUMP*

Freid: Ouch... I see my life flashing before my eyes. Guess this means I'm dying.

Marlene: Hi, hubby. Thanks for overlooking my youthful indiscretions and all. Sorry I have to check out so early, but if this is any consolation, you turned out to be the greatest love of my life after all. Aren't you happy?

Freid: Yes. Well..... Relatively speaking, of course--- URRKKK. *THUD*

Allen: Dammit! Duke Freid is dead!

Kaja: That's just the way he wanted it, Allen. I'm afraid the time has come for us to throw in the towel and bravely run away. Bravely run away awaaaaaaay.

Allen: Shit-o.


Dilandau: Holy Hannah! When did HE get good?

Folken: Dilandau. The Duke's dead. It's time to pack it in. You can finish fufilling your petty, selfish little vendetta against my brother later.

Dilandau: Okay. For once I'm not going to argue with you, (although I want to emphasize that it's NOT because Van is starting to scare me shitless or anything...) *VANISH*

Chid: Thanks, Kaja. I'll be sure to carry out Dad's last wishes.

Gadeth: You don't have to surrender! We can still fight them!

Chid: Won't have to. It's over. Everything's fine. I'm fine. You're fine. It's all fine.

Hitomi: Um... You're sure you'll be okay, Prince?

Chid: Of course, Hitomi! You told me that any wish will come true if I wish hard enough. And Dad told me that a boy should never cry but keep his true feelings bottled up within him at all times. I'm sure that, armed with this sound advice, I'll be able to grow up well-adjusted and healthy and handle whatever the future has in store for me!

Hitomi: Okay.. But you're SURE that you wouldn't want us to try and--

Chid: Gray skies are gonna cleeeear up, put on a happy faaacce/
Strike up the band and cheeeer up, put on a happy faaaace....

Folken: Okay, Chid. We agree not to mess with the good guys until after their ship leaves your borders.... providing you give us what we ask for.

Chid: By that, I'm assuming you mean this phallic object right here.

Folken: Yup. The Sealing Sword. Hand it over, pint size.

Reeden: Bad news, everybody! Van came back and parked Escaflowne, but he hasn't gotten out of it yet!

Merle: Lord Van! What's wrong? Is it something which can be helped by my glomping you?

Escaflowne: ....

Pool of Blood: *DRIP*

Van: ....

Hitomi: This. Don't Look. Good.

On to Episode 14: Dangerous Scars