Episode 10: The Blue-Eyed Prince

Millerna: Good news. Allen made it through the operation okay. Which is more than I can say for myself. *swoon*

Van: Well, it's a good thing Millerna turned out to be a doctor AND managed to show up just in the nick of time to save Allen. I guess the screenwriters are in his pocket after all...

Gadeth: Our good luck doesn't end there. Millerna just happens to be the sister of Marlene, the late wife of the Prince of Freid, the country we're gonna try to sneak into.

Borus: Announcing the arrival of Princess Millerna Sarah Aston....Oh, and a strange band of misfit rag-tag adventurers...

Chid: Hi, Auntie! Sorry, Dad's off in another part of the country so he can't be here today...

Millerna: Wow, don't you look all distinguished now? I haven't seen you since you were little.....well... since you were littl-ER.

Chid: I heard that Allen Schezar has come with you. The way Mom used to gush on about him, I was really looking forward to meeting him. Is he that scruffy-looking guy sitting next to you?

Borus: No, my lord. The scruffy-looking guy is the king of that smoking crater a couple of countries away which used to be known as Fanelia.

Chid: Whoops. My bad. So where IS Allen, then? Oh... He's injured? Gee, I guess he isn't the superhero Mom played him up to be.

Allen: I'm finally awake. Gee, Millerna looks a lot like Marlene. Hey, the ring that Marlene was wearing in the flashback I just had. It's on the finger of this small, blonde boy who bears a strange resemblance to me. Guess he must be Prince Chid.

Chid: You okay?

Allen: I feel like a hundred miles of bad road. But that's not important. What IS important is that Zaibach's planning to do the Manifest Destiny Dance all over your country's ass, and you and your old man have to do something about it. Fast!

Van: Allen's right. Just ask that Zaibach soldier we captured. He'll tell you!

Borus: We've already sent for the creepy monk who specializes in prisoner interrogations around here. He should arrive soon.

Folken: Van's in Freid now... As is that soldier of ours who just got captured.

Dilandau: Migel's one of my bitches. He'd rather die than talk.

Shester: Whew. Apparently Lord Dilandau never found out about all that canary-singing I did for Allen in Episode 5! I sure am a lucky bastard.

Folken: We can't take any chances. Freid has a creepy monk named Plactu who may succeed in pumping your underling for information. But I have a plan for dealing with that.

Dilandau: Good God! Did something die in here?

Zongi: No. It's just me. And before you ask, yes... Yes I do find myself cursing evolution. Often.

Folken: Ha. We'll just counter Freid's creepy monk with our even creepier Doppleganger. Now, here's what I want you two to do...

Millerna: Hi, Hitomi. The screenwriters couldn't figure out a plausible way to have your duffel magically transported to you, so I just brought it along with me instead. Here.

Hitomi: Hey, thanks. I guess you're not such an insensitive bitch after all. Let's bond.

Dilandau: So that's the ship Plactu is riding on, eh? Why all the friggin' subtlety? Why can't I just whack it?

Zongi: Just do your job, Psycho Boy! Put me onto that ship.

Dilandau: Okay, Corpsey the Clown... Daah! I saw him naked! I have to go pour scalding hot water over my eyeballs now.

Allen: Geez, Millerna. Why can't you just be like a typical stay-at-home, let-the-men-do-all-the-work princess, Princess?

Millerna: Because THIS IS ANIME™, and because I'm a standard-issue fantasy tomboy princess, not a naive piece of fluff! Now don't get all worried, Allen. One day, Dad will see you for the hero that you truly are.

Allen: Shyeah, right. What was that you said about not being naive, Millerna?

Hitomi: So, Van. What did you want to see me about this early in the morning?

Merle: It'd better not be about anything, you know...romantic!

Van: I want you to tell me how you do that thing you do. You know. The "Pointing Out the Invisible Giants" thing... Pwease?

Plactu: Allright! Who are you and why have you snuck on board my ship?

Zongi: Oh, I'm just here to eat your soul and to steal your body. Your ass is mine!


Zongi/Plactu: Ooh. And it's a nice one, too....

Hitomi: Okay, Van. Just imagine what you want to find in your mind and you'll see it.

Van: Um, I keep trying to conjure up "Big-Hootered Cat Girls" but... I don't see any appearing out here...

Merle: Grrr. Find ME!!! ME!!

Chid: What the heck is King Van and those "rag-tag misfit people" doing down there?

Borus: Beats the stuffins outta me, kid...

Hitomi: Now envision Merle in your mind. It shouldn't be hard. Just imagine the most annoying catgirl who's ever lived on any planet, anywhere...

Merle: Your description of me didn't include claws, Hitomi. Shall I remind you of the fact that I have them?

Van: I can't do this. I suck.

Hitomi: No you don't. Look. It's easy. Just use the Force, Van...*POINTS* See? Even a catgirl could do it!

Merle: Urge to use Hitomi's legs as a scratching post. Rising.

Chid: Wow! That was neat! You say you can read the future? How about reading mine?

Merle: You'll be sooooorrrry...

Zongi/Plactu: Okay. I've arrived. And I'm my completely normal self. Where's the prisoner at?

Borus: This way. He's right here... Hey, what's that thing you're doing with your hands? Whatever it is, it sure looks coo---duhhhhhhhhhhh......

Zongi/Plactu: Okay. I've hypnotized the big dumb bearded guy. You got anything you wanna say to me, kid?

Migel: My God, you're creepy...

Zongi/Plactu: I meant "did you have anything IMPORTANT that you wanted to say to me." Sheesh...


Millerna: Okay, Allen. Eat up and get better now, y'hear?

Allen: I wanna talk to Hitomi.

Millerna: Hmph. Fine. I'm not, like, insanely jealous or anything.

Zongi/Plactu: So you say there's a mysterious girl around here who is able to see through your stealth cloaks? Fine. I'm on it.

Migel: Um, aren't you s'posed to spring me?

Zongi/Plactu: Yeah, but first I've got to use you to frame Allen and rig the future course of events around here in Zaibach's favor. Now, be a good little puppet and...SLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!

Chid: That Zaibach guy said Allen's a traitor? No! I won't believe it! Waaahhh!

Hitomi: Oh, hi Allen. You're sure you want to tempt fate and have me do another card reading for you. Um. Okaaaaay...... Hm. The cards say some serious shit is about to go down soon. Shit which may involve Van in some way. Oh, and which may also result in the end of the world.

Allen: Dayam. Once again Hitomi, we are reminded of why relying on your powers is a bad idea....Anyway, what about the prisoner?

Hitomi: I've drawn a blank. You don't suppose it means--

Migel: --I've escaped! Aha! Now to grab my guymelef and make tracks!

Allen: What's this all about? Why are you arresting us?

Chid: Allen. How could you betray us? So many of my childhood delusions are being shattered today. I'm not sure I wanna live in the Big Bad World of Grown-Ups anymore...

Guard: Um, that bishy prisoner we were holding? He's flown the coop and stolen back his guymelef.

Migel: Allright! Everything still works! *SMASSHHH* *CRASH* *COLLAPSE* Uhh, kinda.

Zongi/Plactu: Just escape, dumbass...

Van: I'm not letting him get away! *FWOOOOSSSHHHH*

Migel: Damn. My Crima Claw shooter is fucked, but my Cloaking Device still works. And he can't see me without that chick with the butch haircut helping him! He's a sitting duck.

Van: I'm a sitting duck... Unless I can somehow remember all that psychic shit Hitomi told me about earlier ... What was I supposed to use again?

Migel: Ha! It's like shooting fish in a---

Van: Oh yeah. That's right. The Force. *SLICE*

Migel: Oh shit. Badly injured. Can't escape. What do I do?

Zongi/Plactu: Allow me to suggest a course of action, kid. One which involves you holding your breath permanently. *STRANGLE*

Millerna: Come on, Chid. This has all got to be just a big misunderstanding...

Chid: Mom believed in you. But you lied to me..

Allen: Did I? Come on, sporto. Be a man. Look into your heart... You'll see the truth.

Hitomi: Wow. I forsee some major foreshadowing about to take place... Yup. I'm sensing a definite connection between Allen and the munchkin. Big honkin' subplot in the works here. Kawamori Shouji had better end the episode before the audience has a chance to figure it out.

On to Episode 11: Prophecy of Death