Part 23

Rico: I warned you. I warned you but did you listen to me? Oh no! Oh, it's just a harmless lil' kamikaze airship, isn't it? Well, it's always the same, I always-

Fei: Cram it, Rico! I don't need you to bring me back down to earth, gravity is doing it just fine. …Elly, how come you haven't let go?

Elly: Your little guilt trip was more effective than you thought it would be, apparently. I'm gonna do the right thing and ride this thing out in a suicidal sacrifice.

Fei: Crap, this was not what I had in mind!


Elly: Uh oh, the choir music, now I'm toast for sure. Even Aeris made out better than me, I didn't even make it halfway through the first disc.

Grahf: Here comes Mighty Mouse!


Elly: …wate wut? You saved me? Who are you?

Grahf: *flies away, vogue-ing all the way*

Fei: Elly, Elly, you scared the shit out of me! Bawl, sob.

Elly: Ha ha, Fei's crying like a baby wuss! Er, I mean, sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?

Fei: Hmm, well… I've got it! No more dodging the question. Into the party with you, playable character! Now then, let's hole up in someone's deserted home and plan our next move!

Elly: Why are we not looting this place?

Citan: …because it would be wrong? Also, there is nothing here worth stealing aside from the only functional toilet in the game.

Hammer: AHEM, hey there, my little get-out-of-jail-free cards! Kislev is under martial law, but that still shouldn't pose any of a threat to us as long as we go and swipe their super aerial battleship!

Elly: Which just happens to be located in the military base that I raided at the start of the game to steal Weltall.

Citan: Hmm, I think we may be onto something here. Elly, can you show us how to infiltrate the base?

Elly: It's not that hard, you basically walk in a straight line and try not to, I dunno, trip on your own feet or something.

Fei: Sounds like a plan, that just leaves some cannon fodder guards for us to pwn and get out of the city before heading north to the base. Let's rock!

Hammer: Wait, first I gotta tell Elly something.

Fei: The hell?

Hammer: *whisper whisper*

Elly: …o-kay…

Fei: What was that about?

Hammer: Nothing, nothing at all!

Fei: …it had better not have been some stupid remark about the size of my co-

Hammer: LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!

Citan: Well, there appears to be a minimal garrison of guards controlling the city. No major trouble.

Fei: But… but they have guns, and stuff!

Citan: How many times have you been shot by enemies already and walked away without a scratch, you pansy?

Fei: …but, but… boomsticks!

Not-so-stupid guard: Hey, these guys look familiar. Kinda like the 'wanted' people.

Somewhat-smart guard: Well, it's not like we stand a chance against them, so let's just let 'em pass.

Fei: …well, that was easier than I expected.

Finalist-for-Darwin-Award guard: Hahahahaha! Die, wanted people!

Other guards: d00d!?!?!?! *slap foreheads*

Rico: This quest for wacky humor has gone far enough. It ends now. *kills guards*

Fei: Oh, so you're tagging along after all?

Rico: Only because the writers made me, I still think you guys suck and I'm still trying to put up a lame façade of being a loner. Now let's get a move on.

Fei: Wait, first there's someone who needs his pompadour messed up.

Big Joe: Ey, compadre! I got super muchacho information and other gratuitous Spanish words as well!

Fei: Why won't you die?

Big Joe: Ey, someone once told me I'm slightly more persistent than a cockroach. But I think that's a compliment, hombre! Anyway, don't get down on yourself, as the game has now started to rock and will continue to do so right up to the end of the disc.

Fei: Ugh, this guy makes my skin crawl. Let's head to the factory.

Elly: Wait, I'm a complete pansy compared to you guys, let's do some level grinding first.

Fei: I just can't win…

Part 24