Part 24

*After a couple hours of fighting enemies with seriously cracked-out special attacks…*

Fei: Okay, Elly, we're going to the factory now. Are you not such a pussy any more?

Elly: Sort of, although I still can't take a hit and my Gear is a joke compared to you guys.

Hammer: Don't worry Elly, I'm the man with the master plan. Come on over and grab some spicy upgrades!

Fei: Hammer, how the HELL did you steal a supply Gear from Kislev that easily?

Hammer: Bro, bro, you shouldn't sweat the small stuff!

Fei: Good god, Hammer, if you could be any more shady, I'd swear your last name was Mathers.

Rico: ANYWAY, how do we get through this factory?

Elly: Like I said, you basically walk in a straight line and try not to, I dunno, trip over yourself.

Fei: UWAH! *trips and crashes*

Elly: …this may be harder than I thought.

Fei: Hey! I'll have you know I tripped not over my own feet but over these pesky Kislev mechanics that keep ambushing us!

Rico: Pesky, but incredibly stupid, as they seem to keep randomly healing our Gears.

Citan: Hmm. Push button, receive treasure. Push button, receive treasure. This is almost Pavlovian.

Fei: Doc, would you quit monkeying around with that button and help us beat this boss?

Fis-6: Oh come on, like you really need help to beat a weakling like me. *ASPLODE*

Citan: Well, it seems we have located Kislev's super airship at last.

Elly: Um, Citan, this thing has WINGS. It's an airplane, not an airship.

Citan: What the-so it is! How bizarre. Did they never read the cardinal rules of RPGs which explicitly state that all flying vehicles must be aerodynamically impossible?

Fei: I dunno, didn't Chrono Trigger have that Blackbird jet?

Elly: But that thing got shot out of the sky after half an hour. I don't think that bodes very well for this plane here.

Rico: Yeah, but it's got a bunch of top propellers like something out of TaleSpin, so maybe it's just impossible enough to be safe to fly on.

Citan: Anyway, I propose we fire this thing up and vamoose before the Kislev army gets its shit together and Zergrushes us.

Fei: But we don't know how to fly it!

Citan: Do you have a better idea?

Fei: Not really.

Citan: All right, everyone. Take a seat. Contact…

Fei: Contact.

Citan: Contact?

Elly: Contact.

Citan: Contact?

Hammer: Contact.

Citan: Contact?


Citan: Right-o! *starts the damn plane*

Goliath: *rumble rumble* IthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcan! *soar*

Rico: Well I'll be damned, it worked.

Citan: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we have reached our cruising altitude and I have turned off the seatbelt sign… you are now free to move about the-

Rico: Never mind that, where's the salted peanuts?

Hammer: So what now, bro? Are we heading back to Aveh?

Fei: Yeah. Whew… after 25 hours of everything going wrong for me, it looks like things are finally starting to go smoothly.

Citan: -well, folks, looks like I will have to turn the seatbelt sign back on, as there is a homicidal maniac in a Gear approaching at high velocity. Things may get a little bumpy.

Fei: Zuh, buh, what?!

Grahf: Here comes Mighty Mouse! *ZOOM*

Elly: Fei, where are you going?!

Fei: To do a little wing walking. Don't worry, I remember this bit from The Rocketeer.

Hammer: Geez, Rico and Elly went out there with him too. It's times like this I'm glad I don't have a Gear so they can't make me fight.

Citan: What about that Gear you swiped in the factory-


Part 25