Part 18


Elly: Ugh. Why is my unit being ordered to escort a flying bomb? They won't even tell me where they're going to drop the damn thing. Not to mention the amount of firepower being used… it's enough to take out an entire city or something.

Gebler attack team: Ha ha! The lieutenant's a big softie who doesn't want to kill surface dwellers!

Elly: Shut up.

Gebler attack team: Whooo! PMS! Hissssss!

Elly: I bet a rod to the hairy berries really hurts…

Gebler attack team: …we'll be good.


Rico: So where've YOU been? I thought you wanted to get out of those sewers post haste.

Fei: Eh, Doc left me all alone and said he was going to bury the monster. Which is not suspicious at all.

Citan: That is correct! Not suspicious in the least!

Rico: ……right. Anyway, quit whining about my arm wound or you'll have a much worse one to worry about when I'm through with you at the tournament. I'm outta here.

Citan: Okay Fei, that was enough of that little diversion. Go kick ass again, you little tool.

Fei: Righty-o! *ASSWHIP*

Hammer: That's it, bro! You've made it to the finals! All you have to do is beat Rico and you're free!

Fei: Hmm, but I feel ill at ease. I think I need an anime-style campfire discussion about the ramifications of these recent events.

Hammer: …do what now?

Fei: Here Hammer, I bought shiny new parts. Let's put them in my Gear so I can kick Rico's ass.

Hammer: Okay, now you're speaking English again. That's better.

Citan: Hmm. I do not believe it a stretch of logic to say these parts downright suck compared to the ones Rico gets.

Hammer: Well, he is being propped up by the Battling Committee, so he'll always get the best stuff.

Fei: Darn! But I have to have better parts to beat him!

Mysterious voice: As materialistic as ever, I see, you candy-ass weakling.

Fei: Buh?

Wiseman: It's-a me!

Fei: The-the wanker from the Aveh tournament? Oh come on, it's bad enough to have Grahf showing up and taunting me, not you too!

Citan: Well, with a name like that, he had better be smart.

Wiseman: Oh, I am, trust me. I just have a different style of teaching than you do. I call it… Pain 101! And it's time for an exam, Fei! *ASSKICK*

Fei: Owowowow. What's your problem?

Wiseman: Just my special way of showing you what an idiot you are. Because you're a scrawny wuss, you can't fight a huge guy like Rico on equal terms. The same goes for your Gears-the quality of your parts has nothing to do with it. You must work smarter, not harder!

Fei: …don't you have a Dilbert strip to star in right now? Anyway, how do you know my name, and why do you fight the same way as I do and why am I just noticing this now, dammit?

Wiseman: Great, amnesia. I know your name because I brought you to Lahan under orders from your father, Khan Wong. He and I go way back. Yeah, ever since we were kids we would smoke in the alleys and play Bloody Knuckles with each other. Anyway, he went off to work for a certain country and met a rather spicy conchita.

Fei: Huh?

Citan: He means Khan met a girl who was crazy fly.

Fei: Oh. Word.

Wiseman: That was your mother, Karen. I got sick of being the third wheel so I left. Then she up and kicked it when you were a kid so Grahf came by and kidnapped you. I found you and your pops all messed up by Grahf, Khan told me to take care of you and then ran off like a deadbeat dad. Now if you don't mind, I have to go kick Grahf's ass. I'm sick of fleshing out your still-murky backstory.

Fei: Hold on, I'm not letting you go without telling me what that certain country I'm from is. We've got enough mysteries running around already.

Wiseman: Fine. You're from Shevat, that big orange thing that keeps floating around in the sky. They're a bunch of cowardly wusses. Looks like you're cut right from the mold.

Fei: I… I'm from the UFO city? Whoa.

Hammer: …well, it would explain a lot…

Wiseman: And with that, I'm outta here. Remember: Free. Your. Mind.

Citan: Well, what a mysterious person.

Fei: Yeah, a totally mysterious person! I'm very sure I've never, ever met this guy before! Okay, free my mind. I've got to free my mind.

Citan: You do that. Just do not concentrate so hard on it you get your butt kicked in the meantime.

*Next day…*

Rico: All right kid, show me what you got.

Fei: Don't say I didn't warn you, Mr. Mediocre.

Stier: KILL!




Rico: Crap.

Fei: I won! Although I'm sure it's totally because of luck and your injury.

Rico: Oh, give me a break. You're the Champ now. I'm going to take care of something.

Hammer: Who's the man? Bro's the man! The man is Bro! We're free!

Fei: And yet there is this terrible feeling of uneasiness. Why is my heart so troubled…?

Stier: Rico, you suck.

Rico: Yeah, I know. But you suck right along with me. You up for a little more mayhem before we lose it all?

Stier: Sure, why not?

Part 19