Part 16

Hammer: Aw snap! Guess I'm off to register you then!

Fei: Hmm, it didn't take much to convince HIM.



Ugly face #1: Oh hell, that guy's back again.

Ugly face #2: That guy? What guy are we talking about here?

Ugly face #3: That guy who pwned us 500 years ago and ruined all our nefarious plans! You know, THAT guy!

Ugly face #2: Oh, right, him.

Ugly face #7: I've got a good idea! Let's blow up the old nuclear reactor in the Kislev capital and destroy him in the process!

Ugly face #8: Yay! That would be fun!

Ugly face #6: But first, we must throw out some nebulous plot points. Anima Relics!

Ugly face #4: Lambs! Animus!

Ugly face #1: Days Of Destruction! Gaetia Key!

Ugly face #3: All right, that's enough of that. Somebody tell Ramsus to go blow Kislev up.

Ugly face #5: Wait! I didn't get to say anything cryptic!

Ugly face #7: Shut up #5, you suck. PUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!


Hammer: Hey bro, you're all signed up! I guess that plot point lady did some work to get you into the tournament. Go kick some ass!

Fei: …Hammer, is there any particular reason you're so excited to see me fight?

Hammer: Uh…… nah! Hey, look over there! *flees*

Citan: Fei, I think I will tag along with you to the arena.

Fei: Well, last night you said we should act separately, but hey, it's not like I have any reason to be suspicious, so… okay, let's go!

Rue Cohen: Ha! You came back! They always come back! Oh yeah, my milkshake brings all the boys to the counter…


Rue Cohen: Er… anyway, here's your Gear. Have fun and make it amusing for us. Sucker.

Weltall: Ey, buuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddyyyyyy!

Fei: What the hey?! Weltall's my Gear?!

Citan: Coincidence? I think not. Fei, I do not believe it is much of a stretch to say they are attempting to test your talents and see if you can be exploited by their military.

Fei: You know, considering basically everyone in the game so far has attempted to exploit me, I'm getting used to it. Let's rock.

Weltall: KABOOM.

Fei: X_X


Cannon fodder henchman #1: Ha ha! Kid got PWNED!

Cannon fodder henchman #2: Ha ha! I wish I could have seen the look on his face!

Monster: Oh yeah? Well I wish you could see the looks on YOUR faces right now…

Cannon fodder henchmen #1 and 2: AAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE. *SPLAT*

Counter-Strike announcer: DOUBLE KILL.

*Next day…*

Fei: Ow ow ow ow ow. What the crap?

Citan: Oh, you woke up. Your Gear blew up yesterday, but since you are the main character you are not dead yet.

Fei: Then battle I must! But I am injured! But I must battle! But my ass is so sore-BUT I MUST FIGHT!

Citan: Oh, pipe down and go to sleep.

Fei: Have it your way. But I shall return!

Fei: *SNORE*

Fei: Okay, here we go.

Receptionist: Your competitor from yesterday conveniently had to forfeit, so you're free to compete today.

Fei: Suckas gonna get BLASTED!!!


Counter-Strike announcer: UNSTOPPABLE!!!

Fei: All right, time for a new day of ass-whipping! …maybe I'm enjoying this too much…

Rico:Yo. I'm here to take you down from your little power trip.

Citan: …am I interrupting something?

Rico: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway Fei, two of my subordinates set up that explosion the other day because they were jealous of you. Gear envy or something. But now, they happen to be dead, and for the time being, you're the prime suspect.

Fei: Ha! What can they do about it? I'm already in prison.

Rico: Don't give them any ideas. If you want to prove your innocence, then come with me into the sewers so we can find some proof.

Citan: You refer to the alleged killer monster living in the sewers?

Rico: …stop stealing my plot points. Anyway, I'm heading over there. You game?

Fei: I dunno, I heard something about it being "the most boring dungeon in the whole game" or something.

Citan: Suck it up Fei, I will come with as well.

Rico: Okay, whatever… let's go. And prepare to bleed.

Part 17