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Evil Red Gear: Um… okay. *SUPREME SMACKDOWN*
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Ramsus: Argh, I'm not done yet! In the name of anal integrity, I-
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Miang: Okay, Commander, methinks it's time to beat a strategic retreat.
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Ramsus: 'Tis but a scratch! |
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Miang: A scratch?! Your Gear's arm's off!
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Ramsus: No it isn't!
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Miang: Well, what's THAT, then? *points*
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Ramsus: …I've had worse.
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Miang: You lie! Now let's get while the getting's good. Yoink!
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Evil Red Gear: Hey, pirate! What did the omnipotent Gear say to the girly-man?
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Bart: Um… "Who's your hairstylist?"
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Evil Red Gear: Nope, wrong! It said… SLAP, BITCH!!! *SUPREME 1-HIT-KILL PIMPSLAP*
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Bart: Crap, I'm about to die. And with soiled underwear, too…
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Sigurd: Here I come to save the daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!
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Yggdrasil: *ZOOM SAIL SPLAT*
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Bart: Whoo, doggy, Sig. As far as unlikely saves go, that one takes the cake.
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Sigurd: Damn, I'm smooth.
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Bart: …rrrrright.
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Yggdrasil: *rumble levitate*
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Sigurd: What the-we're flying again? Uh oh…
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Evil Red Gear: Fooled you! Did you think a minor thing like a 10,000 ton sand cruiser falling on me was gonna do me in? Just call me the Harlem Globetrotter of mecha combat. *toss*
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Yggdrasil: *SPLAT*.
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Thousands of video gamers: We're not worthy!
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Franz: Well, no coming back from that one, first mate, the ship's toast. The royal pirates are royally screwed.
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Sigurd: Aw, and we're not even 15 hours in. Hyu-Cita-WHATEVER YOUR DAMN NAME IS, into the escape pod with you.
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Citan: Oh, fudge. Looks like I am on my lonesome for now. Uh oh, what is the deal with this wreckage? Looks like 'his' work…
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Thousands of video game players: Is somebody going to tell us who 'he' is now?
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Citan: Nah. How about you have another cutscene instead?
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Thousands of video game players: DAMMIT!!!
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*Meanwhile, way the hell off in Kislev…*
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Kaiser Sigmund: Greg Allman, eat your heart out.
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Soldier: Sorry to interrupt your terminally bore-ass organ-grinding session, sir, but I'm here to report that somebody just gave the Aveh and Gebler forces a collective wet willie out in the desert. Oh, and we found that missing Gear. Thing is, there are a lot of things we don't get about it, because 'they' gave it to us.
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Thousands of video game players: Who's 'they'?
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Kaiser Sigmund: Shut up, we're being cryptic.
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Soldier: So, like, aren't we going to invade Aveh and PWN them?
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Kaiser Sigmund: Don't be preposterous, we'd overextend ourselves and lose to Solaris in the long haul. What's the point of winning a war if we lose in the long term?
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Soldier: Well, stranger things have happened…
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George W. Bush: … *hides*
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Kaiser Sigmund: Whoops, here 'they' come. We'd better go meet 'them'.
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Thousands of video game players: *eyebrow twitch*
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Executioner: Here you go, pal. We've got a nice new gadget for you courtesy of the 'Ethos'.
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Kaiser Sigmund: So why exactly do you supply us with free weaponry again?
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Executioner: Now, THAT is a secret! But if you really feel like repaying us… *whisper whisper*
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Kaiser Sigmund: O-kay, I don't know why she wants the missing Gear put in the prison with the pilot, but hey, who are we to refuse a mysterious weirdo demanding us to do weird things with our own property?
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*Meanwhile…*
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Kid: *kick*
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Ball: *bounce*
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Fei: What the crap? Where am I? And can someone adjust the vertical hold on that movie screen?
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Creepy boy: You suck. Go away.
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*POOF!*
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Fei:Guh…? Ugh… another unfamiliar ceiling… now where am I?
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Doctor: Hi, you're in the prison of Nortune, capital of Kislev. And judging by the thugs coming down the stairs, you're also S.O.L.
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Thugs: Come on, you're going to be 'baptized'.
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Fei: I don't know if the name tipped you off, but I ain't no Christian.
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Rico: You think they meant with water? Ha! You should be so lucky. The name's Rico. Hello, and welcome to Fight Club.
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Part 15
Home
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