Part 11

*After one TERMINALLY BORE-ASS strategy session that I am NOT typing out…*

Citan: Okay, so Fei will go one way and lure Gebler away from the capital, while the rest of us sneak into Bledavik and overthrow the government. In the worst case scenario, Gebler will attempt to grind us into powder, which we will not have to worry about because they foolishly placed an idiot who does not understand how to fight against Gears in charge of their army. Everyone got that? Good, because I am NOT repeating it. *collapses*

Bart: All right then, I guess all we have to do is decide when we're going to attempt our ludicrously complex military operation. Hmm… how about TOMORROW?

Drake, Washington, Lee, Rommel, Eisenhower etc.: *roll over in their graves*

Sigurd: Righty-o. Preparations are complete and we all got our bishie-sleep. Shall we be off?

Margie: Wait! First I must mock Bart's royal ancestry in typical lighthearted anime "We're not jinxing this at ALL" fashion.

Bart: Right back at you, girl. Let's roll.

Yggdrasil: *WHOOM*

Nun: Aw, Bart's going to be the king! How cute! And then you can be his wife and start scraping the bottom of the gene pool for kids!

Margie: Like, GROSS-NESS! Is chastity so hard on you nuns that you can't stop speculating about my incestuous future sex life?!

Nun: You said it, I didn't.

Bart: Okay Fei, here's where we part ways. Um, take care, and um… I just want you to know…

Fei: Please don't say you love me. PLEASE don't say you love me.

Bart: …if I kick it, I'd appreciate it if you don't make a move on Margie until a few weeks after.

Fei: Uh, no worries there, pal. Everyone can tell I'm hooking up with Elly after I send her to Betty Ford Clinic.

Weltall: LAUNCH EVA!!!!!! …I dunno, it just seemed like the right thing to say. *ZOOM*

*That night…*

Maison: Waaah, I've totally not prepared the young master enough to be king. On the other hand, maybe I prepared him too much! I'm schizophrenic and so am I! Waaaah! I suck!

Citan: Take it easy, old fart. You are everything Bart could have hoped for in an incessantly fretting, overbearing and prissy guardian. Now if you do not mind, I have got some eavesdropping to do.

Sigurd: Oh great, what's YOUR problem?

Bart: I'd be a shitty king. I suck.

Sigurd: Cut it out with the self-pity, you are going to be king and you are going to LIKE it. Now, you're filthy… you need a bath!

Bart: Sig… do you have any idea what you just SAID?

Sigurd: Um. Whoops.

Thousands of rabid fangirls: TOO LATE! NO TAKE-BACKS! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! *squeal*

Citan: Aw, Sigurd really reminds me of me sometimes. Although I am much better looking. And more importantly, I can prove I am not gay.

Sigurd: When did I ever say I was?!?!?!


Ramsus: *SNORE*

Miang: *SNORE*


Evil Red-Haired Guy: *asskick*

Gears: *explode*

Ramsus: Stop him!!!

Evil Red Gear: *MAJOR asskick* *charge*

Ramsus: Um. Yipe.


Ramsus: OW OW IT HURTS OH GOD NOT IN MY ASS AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE-oh, it was a dream. *pant pant*

Miang: Oh great… you didn't just wet the bed again, did you?

Ramsus: Out of the bed and onto the floor/
Fifty meter dash to the bathroom door! *zoom*

Miang: Uh, it's not a good idea to go running around in just a Speedo, you'll catch a chill.

Thousands of rabid fangirls: Put a sock in it, slut! *DROOL*


Miang: What the…? Eeeeew! Grahf's a peeping per~vert!

Grahf: Sue me. I'm just here to remind you about the time-honored anime rule where if two characters have sex before the end of the show/game, one or both of them are going to die.

Miang: You like to watch, don't you? Now scram and stop ogling my overly pixilated nekkidness, you dirty old man.

Grahf: Fine, but keep your grubby hands off the ponytailed kid from the tournament. He's mine.

Miang: …I am so not going there.

Grahf: Hmph. Let me just say it would sound even worse if the gamers knew my relation to him.

*Next day…*

Franz: Hey, captain? I have some news that will PUMP YOU UP… it looks like Gebler took our diversion bait and left the capital!

Bart: Awesome, my sonar-workin'… penguin-man?

Franz: I'm not a penguin-man! I'm a dolphin-man! Yeesh, get it straight…

Bart: Oh, silly me. Whatever, let's roll.

Maison: For some reason… I Have A Very Bad Feeling About This.™

Obi-Wan: Amateur.

Gebler attack team: Damn, why do we get stuck being led by a girl?

Elly: *sigh* Of course, since we're an evil empire, EVERYONE has to be sexist pigs, don't they?

Gebler attack team: Ooooh! Retract those claws! Hissssss!

Elly: Urge to smack idiots upside the head, rising. Now shut up and deal with the fact that I'm in charge of this mission… oh, and ogle my pretty new Gear.

Vierge: …I make hearts appear when I hit things with my rod.

Fei: Meanwhile, I shall engage in tedious platform jumping on a mountain with a ridiculous encounter rate and no clear path to the top.

Weltall: This sucks. I'm built for kicking ass, not playing hopscotch.

*One incredibly frustrating dungeon later…*

Fei: God, I hope that's it for stupid platform-jumping dungeons in this game… uh oh, Gebler Gears. Everyone, go on! I'll handle this!

Pirates: You hear that? That's the sound of no one disagreeing with you. *flee*

Elly: What the… Fei? You again?

Fei: Uh oh. Um, hi, Elly. Nice weather?

Gebler attack team: Kill now, banter later! CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!!!

Part 12