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Ramsus: This guy reminds me of someone… two people, actually… neither of whom I particularly like… urgh! Have at you!
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Fei: Sit, boy! *smackdown*
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Ramsus: Urgh! You suck!
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Miang: My, my, a dramatic rescue and battle punctuated by the revelation that Fei is a figure from the commander's past! How can they top this? |
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Tetsuya Takahashi: : Um, we can't. So instead, here's an anticlimactic anime-style escape I pulled out of my ass.
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*BEGIN WACKY SEQUENCE*
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Margie: Feel the power of rodents!
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Rats: CHARGE!
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Ramsus: *gurgle*
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Bart: Let's make like a tree and… get out of here!
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*END WACKY SEQUENCE*
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Bart: Thank god for convenient elevators. So, uh, Margie, when did you suddenly develop the power to control small animals?
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Margie: Huh? I did?
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Fei: *sigh* They're really reaching for plot devices to get us out of here, aren't they?
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Bart: By the way, Fei, any idea where this elevator goes?
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Fei: I haven't the foggiest… but I wouldn't worry. It's not like we can get in any more trouble than we're already in.
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Elevator: *whoosh*
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Fei: Oh, gee, it dropped us way down inside the Gebler base under the castle, right next to a big honking battleship.
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Margie: …with troops coming out of it. What were the odds of that?
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Guards: HALT!
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Bart: Well, shit.
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Fei: And we proceed to run!
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*BEGIN SECOND WACKY SEQUENCE*
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Elly: Intruders in the base? I'm sure it doesn't concern me…
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Fei: Well, now we're really up to our necks in it. I sure could use an awkward coincidence that went in my favor right now--*CRASH*
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Elly: Kyah!
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Fei: Yeah, okay, that works. Long time no see, hot stuff!
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*END SECOND WACKY SEQUENCE*
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Bart: Gebler officer! DIEEEEEEE-
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Fei: Down boy! Elly's nice!
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Bart: Nice… Gebler officer? Does not compute. So very confused…
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Elly: You can think it over in my room. Now scoot!
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Bart: Okay, time out. Fei, you got some splainin' to do…
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Elly: Actually it should be me. Fei, I'm an officer of the Holy Empire of Solaris, I'm the one who caused those Gears to land in your town and I suck.
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Fei: Worry not thine pretty little head, I knew that all already. And I'm still the one who sucks, not you. Now as you can see, we're kind of in the middle of a rescue here…
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Elly: And isn't it just the most well-thought-out one ever… hmph. Well, here, I'll lead you to the exit and give you a Gear to escape in.
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Bart: Grrrrr! Gebler bad!
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Margie: Bart, cram it and follow the nice lady.
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Bart: Erk. You're lucky I'm so damn pussy-whipped, Ms. Gebler.
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Elly: Okay boyeeeeee, here's a Gear. Make like George W. Bush and get the hell out of the base.
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Fei: Wait, Elly, come with me!
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Elly: Fei… you'd take me with you?
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Fei: Come on, Elly… you know you want to… you're a playable character, it's your destiny to be by my side…
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Elly: Except… no. Later, Fei. Next time I see you, I'm going to kick your ass.
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Fei: Urk. Dammit, I thought anime girls were supposed to be suckers for dramatic moments like that.
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Bart: Hey, you can whine about it over some Bartweiser later, now let's scram!
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Fei: Shot down in flames/
Shot down in flames/
Ain't it a shame/
To be shot down in flames…
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Ramsus: Okay, that does it, my foot is going straight into that guy's ass!… or I will settle for planting my Gear's foot into his Gear's aft thrusters. After them!
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Soldier: Hey Commander, I have a message from Hyuga…
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Ramsus: Eh? Hm, on second thought, don't go after them after all.
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Miang: Commander…?
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Ramsus: …………………………………CLIFFHANGER!!!!!
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Part 10
Home
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