Part 9

Ramsus: This guy reminds me of someone… two people, actually… neither of whom I particularly like… urgh! Have at you!

Fei: Sit, boy! *smackdown*

Ramsus: Urgh! You suck!

Miang: My, my, a dramatic rescue and battle punctuated by the revelation that Fei is a figure from the commander's past! How can they top this?

Tetsuya Takahashi: : Um, we can't. So instead, here's an anticlimactic anime-style escape I pulled out of my ass.


Margie: Feel the power of rodents!


Ramsus: *gurgle*

Bart: Let's make like a tree and… get out of here!


Bart: Thank god for convenient elevators. So, uh, Margie, when did you suddenly develop the power to control small animals?

Margie: Huh? I did?

Fei: *sigh* They're really reaching for plot devices to get us out of here, aren't they?

Bart: By the way, Fei, any idea where this elevator goes?

Fei: I haven't the foggiest… but I wouldn't worry. It's not like we can get in any more trouble than we're already in.

Elevator: *whoosh*

Fei: Oh, gee, it dropped us way down inside the Gebler base under the castle, right next to a big honking battleship.

Margie: …with troops coming out of it. What were the odds of that?

Guards: HALT!

Bart: Well, shit.

Fei: And we proceed to run!


Elly: Intruders in the base? I'm sure it doesn't concern me…

Fei: Well, now we're really up to our necks in it. I sure could use an awkward coincidence that went in my favor right now--*CRASH*

Elly: Kyah!

Fei: Yeah, okay, that works. Long time no see, hot stuff!


Bart: Gebler officer! DIEEEEEEE-

Fei: Down boy! Elly's nice!

Bart: Nice… Gebler officer? Does not compute. So very confused…

Elly: You can think it over in my room. Now scoot!

Bart: Okay, time out. Fei, you got some splainin' to do…

Elly: Actually it should be me. Fei, I'm an officer of the Holy Empire of Solaris, I'm the one who caused those Gears to land in your town and I suck.

Fei: Worry not thine pretty little head, I knew that all already. And I'm still the one who sucks, not you. Now as you can see, we're kind of in the middle of a rescue here…

Elly: And isn't it just the most well-thought-out one ever… hmph. Well, here, I'll lead you to the exit and give you a Gear to escape in.

Bart: Grrrrr! Gebler bad!

Margie: Bart, cram it and follow the nice lady.

Bart: Erk. You're lucky I'm so damn pussy-whipped, Ms. Gebler.

Elly: Okay boyeeeeee, here's a Gear. Make like George W. Bush and get the hell out of the base.

Fei: Wait, Elly, come with me!

Elly: Fei… you'd take me with you?

Fei: Come on, Elly… you know you want to… you're a playable character, it's your destiny to be by my side…

Elly: Except… no. Later, Fei. Next time I see you, I'm going to kick your ass.

Fei: Urk. Dammit, I thought anime girls were supposed to be suckers for dramatic moments like that.

Bart: Hey, you can whine about it over some Bartweiser later, now let's scram!

Fei: Shot down in flames/
Shot down in flames/
Ain't it a shame/
To be shot down in flames…

Ramsus: Okay, that does it, my foot is going straight into that guy's ass!… or I will settle for planting my Gear's foot into his Gear's aft thrusters. After them!

Soldier: Hey Commander, I have a message from Hyuga…

Ramsus: Eh? Hm, on second thought, don't go after them after all.

Miang: Commander…?

Ramsus: …………………………………CLIFFHANGER!!!!!

Part 10