Part 5

Fei: Hey yo Bart, help me move this rock… Phew! We're making progress now. I feel like I've learned a valuable lesson about teamwork and-

Bart: Oh, shut it.

Fei: -this whole thing IS your fault. You do realize that, right?

Bart: I said, shut it.

Fei: You suck!

Bart: No, YOU suck!

Fei: No, YOU suck!

Bart: No, YOU--oh, hey. A cave. What are the odds that someone would be living down here?

Balthasar: I'll do you one better, kid. What are the odds that someone would be living down here AND running a Gear parts shop? Hmm, judging by the sound of your Gears approaching, they're both kick-ass pieces of equipment, although one needs a few new parts.

Fei and Bart: Whoaaaaaaaaaa! We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Balthasar: You're worthy, you're worthy, already, just shut up! Yeesh… now then, my name's Isaac Balthasar, but just call me Ol' Man Bal.

Fei: Awwwww… I was hoping to call you Spock.

Balthasar: Hardy har har. Have a look at my fossil collection while I work on your Gears.

Fei: Hey, um… how come there's no records of human existence before 10,000 years ago? I thought evolution takes longer than that.

Balthasar: Ha! There's no way I'd ever subscribe to a half-baked scientific theory like evolution. I prefer to ascribe to half-baked religious theories, thank you very much.

Bart: …meaning?

Balthasar: We used to live with God in paradise, we got kicked out, we got pissed and planned to kick God's ass, God got pissed right back and beat us down, but he still got smacked around pretty hard for a god, so he decided to go sleep in the ocean. Then we came along.

Fei: Ho-kay… so does this cave have-

Balthasar: An exit? Sure does. Just run out and turn off the sand sensors and that big wall will open up and you can walk into an excavation site and go to the surface. It's usually open but it closed off a little while ago.

Bart: It was probably caused by the tremors when we fell in, because we-

Balthasar: Were fighting on the surface, right?

Fei: Holy crap, man! Do you know-

Balthasar: Everything? Yes. Yes I do.

Bart: Righty-o… let's go flip those switches, Fei.

Fei: Consider them flipped. Okay, old man, we'll be on our way now.

Bart: Hang on… first, I wanna ask Mr. Know-It-All if he's ever heard of a more powerful Gear.

Balthasar: You mean Omnigears? Of course I have. They ought to be as strong as a thousand Gears, but in reality they're just fancier-looking versions of the ones you already have.

Bart: Hey, wait a-erk, he's gone. Oooh, I hate it when people who know everything won't elaborate!

Fei: (You're really gonna hate the doc, then…)

Bart: Yeah, so… I bet he's looking for one of those Omnigears. Don't you think so?

Fei: Uh, maybe. Hey, Bart, do you think one of our Gears could be a legendary Gear?

Bart: Puh, what are the odds of THAT?

Fei: Hey, you're the one who keeps pointing out all these convenient "coincidences"…

Balthasar: Eeeeek! Icky Gear! Icky, evil scary Gear!

Fei: Eh? Run that by me again?

Balthasar: I said this thing is the -Slayer of God- er, never mind. Scram!

Fei: …wate wut? How could he leave me hanging like that?

Bart: Ah, who cares what he said? Let's beat feet.

Fei: Look, Bart, if you're gonna hang with me, then you're gonna have to realize that whenever someone puts dashes around their words you're supposed to pay attention. Hey… what's that sound?

Calamity: That is… the sound of a really cheap boss fight!

*One incredibly hard fight later*

Bart: Eh, no problemo.

Calamity: Ha! I take a licking and keep on ticking!

Bart: I stand corrected… BIG problemo.

Weltall: OMG |\|0 \/\/4Y j00 n00b!11 PH34R TEH 51_4Y3R 0F 60D!1!!111 *SMACKDOWN*

Calamity: Um… ouchies? *explode*

Bart: Whoa, that was cool! Huh huh-huh… hey Fei, can you teach me how to do that?

Fei: Huh? Wha? What'd I do?

Bart: Dammit Fei, when you do something cool you can at least ACT like you meant to do it… come on, let's meet up with my ship and get back to the main plot already.

Fei: Aww, and it was such a nice little diversion from the mayhem and destruction that seem to accompany me everywhere… FINE. *sigh*

Part 6