Amethyst Angel presents:

Inspired by my love for the anime series Cowboy Bebop, (and the Bebop crew's own love of Demon Tobacco), the Cowboy Bebop Smoking Game was designed by me to be played in accordance with the basic rules of your average drinking game. To wit: when something mentioned on the list happens, you take a drink. (Only in MY game, instead of taking a drink, you take a puff on a cigarette.) Non-smokers who wish to keep their lungs free of pollution may opt to play this game just like any other traditional, run of the mill drinking game, --imbibing shots of alcohol instead of inhaling smoke from cigarettes. Which is fine. Whichever poison you choose to pump copious amounts of into your bloodstream is up to you. Can't say I care one way or the other. By the way, this game is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18 or for anyone with long-term future plans of any kind.

OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING (tm):
WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

The series and characters of Cowboy Bebop belong to Sunrise/Bandai and a bunch of other people. Not to me. This is a non-profit fan-site created only to show my undying love for the series and for it's producers whom, (I can only hope and assume, ) are NOT in the habit of suing people who love them. Unless such people happen to be very very rich. Which I (and anybody who's known me and who has seen the way I live) can assure them I am NOT.

Okay, enough legal grot. On with the game:

THE RULES

GENERAL

Take a puff--

*Each time a main character lights up. Take two puffs if the brand they're using looks suspiciously close to the brand you're smoking. (And if what the character is smoking a cigar, head for the nearest humidor and snag one for yourself.)

*Each time CG is used to introduce a cool new setting.

*Each time you see a shot of the Earth wearing it's asteroid belt.

*Each time a main character runs into an old flame.

*Each time a main character runs into a member of their own family.

*Each time a character is forced to reluctantly confront the demons of their own past.

*Each time the Bebop crew actually manages to bring in a bounty successfully AND receive money for it.

*Each time the Bebop crew saves the universe from a dangerous villain or potentially civilization-ending crisis ---and winds up getting diddly squat as a reward.

*At the point when you begin to realize that bounty hunting is about as safe and profitable an economic venture as pearl-diving in shark-infested waters or pork-farming in Saudi Arabia. (Will most likely be at some point in the first episode).

*Each time the three grizzled, baseball-cap wearing old guys show up. Take two puffs if they have any dialogue. Take three puffs if their black and white cat is somewhere in the vicinity with them.

*Each time the three old Chinese Yoda triplets (the bosses of the Red Dragon crime syndicate) make an appearance. Smoke a whole cigarette if they happen to be pronouncing a sentence of death upon somebody and smoke an entire pack if it is they themselves who are getting killed.

*Each time a member of the Bebop crew consults the old Indian fortune teller guy. Take two puffs if you can see the Indian's Playstation game console somewhere within the frame of the screen (and yell the words, "Product placement!" between puffs).

*Each time one or more of the characters finds themselves in a place where they are prohibited from smoking, douse your own cigarette for the duration of the ban. If the characters are still allowed to smoke, but have to go outside to do it, pick up your cig, head outside and finish it on the patio. You may want to forgo this rule if the weather outside happens to be chilly or inclement, or if you happen to be living in the State of Minnesota during any point in the calendar from early September to late May.(See? I'm ALWAYS griping about the weather around here even in my own webfeatures.)

*Each time the Bebop gets into a firefight in hyperspace.

*Each time someone discharges a weapon in a place where discharging such a weapon really isn't such a good idea. (Inside a ship, on board a space-station with glass paneling, etc.)

*Each time the crew is forced to eat mass quantities of a single item (eggs, shitake mushrooms, etc.) because that's all they can manage to get their hands on at the moment.

*If the episode you're watching prominently features an invention from the late 20th century. (addendum: If you find yourself and your companions getting into a heated debate over which was better, beta or VHS, smoke a pack. If you find that you yourselves have no idea what a beta player is then STOP SMOKING. You're waaaay too underage to be playing THIS game....)

*Every time a character who looks like they walked right out of a blaxploitation movie appears on the screen.

*Each time a bartender gets shot.

*Each time a bar, cafe, or a store selling Chinese goods is riddled with bullets.

*Each time a main character visits a church or a cemetery.

*Each time a character drinks a canned beverage that bears a suspicious resemblance to Coke or Pepsi (Pippu, etc....)

*Every time a character looks at a pornographic magazine. Two puffs if said character is a main character, (and pass your cigarette to an underage smoker if said character is under 13.)

*Each time the crew re-visits a planet other than the Earth or Mars. (Ganymede, for instance) (contributed by Echo)

*Each time an androgynous character (or character whose gender is not immediately evident upon initial inspection) appears on the screen.

*Each time a transgendered male is on screen, smoke a carton if you still think he/she is hot. (contributed by goth cowboy).

*For every woman with a significant speaking role who DOESN'T conform to the traditional twenty-something, gorgeous, big-hootered anime standards of feminine beauty (OR for every woman who doesn't act in a way that traditional animated heroines have been stereotypically known to act, ) smoke a Virginia Slims and shout "You've come a long way, baby!")

*Each time the show "Big Shot" comes on.

*Each time Big Shot's male host, (Punch, the "Shucks-Howdy" guy) changes his accent in the dub version. (Take quick puffs, for this happens about once every three seconds.)

*Smoke a whole pack anytime you see the "Shucks-Howdy" guy at any time or place other than on the show.

*Each time Big Shot's female host (Judy) comes on and you find yourself wondering how the hell she keeps her jacket from falling off.

*Take a big farewell puff when Big Shot is finally cancelled. Take a bonus puff if you find yourself wondering how such an inane idea for a game show could've possibly gone on for as long as it did. Smoke an entire pack at the point when you realize that "Big Shot" is actually a better idea for a game show than "The Mole" or "Temptation Island"..

*(In the sub version) Each time a character voiced by Megumi Hayashibara is accused of being "tone-deaf". (And if you're not coughing too badly at this point, laugh between puffs at the sheer ridiculousness of such a suggestion.)

*Each time the camera switches to a character's point of view. Two puffs if said character is not one of the main characters. Three puffs if the cool point of view shot involves the dodging of a bullet.

*Each time a character appears in an outfit which is not their "default clothing" (Spike's leisure suit, Jet's Eagle coveralls). The costumes they wear in that episode with the Teddy Bomber do not count.

*For every episode in which the villain ultimately turns out to be someone in a coma or near-comatose state.

*Take one puff for every mis-spelled word of English you see appearing on a sign, an ID card, or a computer monitor. (i.e. "Teddy Bommer")

*Smoke a whole cigarette every time the Teddy 'Bommer' tries to reveal his true motives for blowing buildings up, and can't finsh because something happens. Take an extra puff if the event that stops him is the whistling theme to let you know that Andy is on the way (You know how it goes). (contributed by Flawless Cowboy)

*For every piece of techno-babble or pseudo-scientific plot device so outlandish it makes the techno-babble and pseudo-scientific plot devices in Star Trek and the X-Files look like well-researched, empirically accredited scientific facts by comparison.

*Each time the little white italic words appearing at the bottom of the screen at the end of an episode are anything other than "SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY" Two puffs if it's a phrase so obscure that you find yourself wondering what the hell the producers themselves could've been smoking when they thought of it. (Smoke a whole pack if it happens to be a lyric from an old Beatles song.)

*Smoke a whole cigarette at the point in every episode when you finally realize what genre (western, samurai movie, detective story, aliens movie, blaxploitation film, etc.) the episode is portraying, parodying, or paying homage to.

*Smoke a whole carton every time a main character dies. *Sniff*

*Smoke TWO cartons every time a main character suffers from shortness of breath, smoker's cough, or any other ailment related to their tobacco addiction.

ON TO PART TWO - THE CHARACTERS!