Display screens: OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA OTIKA!!! OTIKA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

Saburota: YOU R SAYING OTIKA TO ME!!!! THAT IS… um… wait, "Otika"?

Azuma: Somebody get rid of all these displays! It cramps my style!

Yamasaki: You have style?

Mechanics: We're trying, but we're also being assaulted and attacked by viewscreens!

Azuma: They're transparent light projections, you sissies!

Ruri: Uh, Haley, are we busted?

Haley: I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything-

Ruri: Try not to wet your uniform, cleaning is expensive. Now what's going on?

Haley: Anyway, there's some second system hidden in the colony's computers, and it's busting out. Kind of like Alien except with less spurting fluids and icky death.

Ruri: Hmmm. Otika. Otika. What does that mean-

Display Screens: Psst! Turn "OTIKA" around and you get "AKITO"… STUPID.

Soundtrack: DRAMATIC SWELL!!!

Ruri: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSPPPPPPP!

Thousands of anime fans: Took you long enough, Ruri. Yeesh.

Haley: Hey wait a minute, what the hell's going on-

Ruri: All you need to know is that the shit will be going down. Fast.

Technicians: Boson-jump detected! It's a mobile suit… IT'S A GUNDAM-no, sorry, just some big black spooky thing with wings.

Akito: Heh. *malicious sneer*

Ruri: As much as we're ripping off Austin Powers right now, I am grateful that you commandeered this tour tram to help me get back to the Nadesico.

Mayumi: Hey, how often do I get the chance to drive like a lunatic AND reveal that I'm actually a brunette?

Ruri: Well, considering you're a minor character, this is probably the only chance you've ever had. Thanks for sharing. Now as for the meaning of the "AKITOs"… I wonder, he's supposed to be dead… was this a coincidence?

Akito: Survey says NO. *KABOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM*

Missiles: BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Akito: Feh. Those things are so weak against my mech, I might as well be a Gundam after all.

Ships: KA-BLOOIE.

Akito: Oh, what now, gravity blasts? Sorry, I have to fly right through them without a scratch. I AM a bad ass now, after all.

Shinjo: Hey, some lunatic out there seems to think he's a bad ass. Fuck him up!

Azuma: Nah, let's let him get real close to the colony, THEN fuck him up. It's worth it to lose some of the colony if we take him out in the process.

Ryoko: That's my cue! Yes, of COURSE I just happen to be the lead Aestivalis pilot of this colony's defense squadron! THIS IS ANIME™, what did you expect? Let's-a go! *BLAM BLAM BLAM*

Akito: I think not. *dodge dodge dodge*

Ryoko: Whaaa-how DARE you dodge my shots! Get back here, chicken-wuss! *ZOOM*

Ruri: Let's sit back and casually observe the chaos and destruction, since we're not wanted here.

Azuma: Ah, that's my cue to brag and bluster! UE, you suck! Watch a real pro handle this!

Ruri: Well, while that idiot has his guard down, hack the colony again Haley. And use the keyword "Akito" this time.

Haley: Er, hang on, who's Akito? I feel like I'm being left out of the loop here-

Ruri: Eat cold shoulder, Haley. I'm synching with the computer, if you don't mind. Akito… oh, that reminds me, it used to really piss Erina off whenever someone said his name, didn't it? *blush*

Akito: Ho-hum. This is getting boring. *dodge dodge dodge*

Ryoko: I don't care how MAD this guy's SKILLZ are, I'm taking him out! Although… I wonder why he keeps retreating…

Azuma: It's because we rock! Isn't that right, Shinjo?

Shinjo: Sure sir, whatever you say. (God, I hate him so-)

Operator: Boson jump detected.

Gravity Blast Cannon: KAAAAAAAAAAA-BLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

UC Fleet: AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE.

Operator: It's some kind of freaky-ass battleship! And it had us at "hello"!

Yamasaki: Well, that brings the number of Nergal battleships that have made their debuts by firing a gravity blast and blowing a lot of stuff up to three. I suppose we'd better get ready for them. And no, I'm not going to tell you who they are.

Ruri: I'm outta here.

Azuma: If the girlie wants to run, let her run. In the meantime, FUCK that battleship up!

Shinjo: This hemming and hawing probably means nothing.

UC Fleet: Eat lasers! *BOOM BOOM BOOM*

Eucharis: *DOINK* You sissies.

Akito: Lapis. Lapis… Lapis… LAPIS!!!!

Lapis: Yes Akito, I can hear you quite fucking well, no need to scream. Sheesh. Deploy the unmanned mechs.

UC Fleet: KAAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!

Ryoko: Wow, Jovian robots deployed from a Nergal ship. I'd ponder it, but I'm too busy blowing shit up. Got you now! *BLAM BLAM*

Akito: *DOINK* Nice try. You get points for effort, at least. *ZOOM*

Ryoko: Oh, we're gonna do a chase along the surface of the colony, huh? Somebody likes Star Wars! *ZOOM*

Ruri: Well, this is one of the most convoluted battle plans I've ever seen. Multiple diversions and all. At least Ryoko didn't bite the bait.

Saburota: So what do we do?

Ruri: …We sit on our butts until we figure out what the holy fuck that black mech is trying to accomplish.

Akito: Here, if I let you guys have some pieces of my frame, will you leave me alone? *JETTISON*

Aestivalis squadron: *KABOOM*

Ryoko: Damn, he took out some of my men just by dropping pieces of his mech… now that's what I call MAD SKILLZ. Still not as MAD as mine, though.

Azuma: Fill the sky with lead, or lasers, or whatever!

Ryoko: Hey! You're gonna hit me too, asshole!

Azuma: Then get the hell out of our way, bitch!

Ryoko: U ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME!!!! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!

Azuma: OMGWTF!!!!1

Ruri: Domestic disputes are nice and all, but the black mech just flew into some gate in the colony.

Operator: And not just any gate. It's gate 13!

Azuma: Wate… wut? I didn't think we HAD a gate 13. And what's this "Docking Area For Ruins" subtitle?

Shinjo: It's your cue to find yourself completely screwed, SIR. You see…

Akito: Doobie doobie doo, in I go.

Ryoko: I shall pursue! I shall get attacked by robots! Wait a minute-ACK!

Ruri: Jolly good show, Ryoko. How they hangin'?

Ryoko: They're still perky and 83 cm! Long time no see, kid.

Ruri: Righty-o… well, I'll guide you through the colony's insides. I hope you won't hold it against me if I don't appear as a chibi sidekick on your shoulder.

Ryoko: That ain't my style anyway. Say, did you hack us?

Ruri: *I* didn't. *Haley* did.

Haley: Captain, you suck! Now the scary pilot lady's gonna kill me!

Shinjo: Steady as she goes, men. And ignore the whining from my FORMER commander.

Azuma: This is an outrage! Just who the hell ARE you?!

Shinjo: We are the latest band of completely misguided, testosterone-overdosed villains of the Nadesico series… the Martian Successors!

Thousands of anime fans: And suddenly, the title makes sense.

Shinjo: And we have much better fashion taste than previous villains! See? *pose*

Thousands of anime fans: ...

On to the Nadesico Movie: Part Three