THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS
(Da Movie)

PART TEN



Martian Successor army: Blargh! Kill! Blow up! Induce property damage! Walk in on couples in compromising situations… wate wut?

Megumi: Oh boy, I always wanted to play to a captive audience.

Random Soldier #1 Wait, a concert? What is this, Star Trek 5?

Random Soldier #2: Dunno, but I'd take HER doing a striptease over Nichelle Nichols any day.

Thousands of perverted fanboys: *collective shudder*

Megumi: Hello, heavily armed guys. I'm Megumi Reinard, these are my backup singers the Howmei Girls…

Howmei Girls: Kill us! Please!

Megumi: …And this is my backup band, the Unmarketable Old People…

Prospector, Howmei, Munetake, Misumaru & Akiyama: No! Kill US first!

Martian Successor army: Exqueeze us, but wasn't the UE General Council meeting supposed to be here?

Megumi: Sorry, they've all been evacuated. However…

Akatsuki: Nagare has NOT left the building!

Martian Successor army: Is this some kind of sick joke?!

Akatsuki: Basically… and you're the butt. Thankya verah much.

Entire world: *insert maniacal laughter here*

Martian Successor army: Well, let's see how hard you laugh when we pump 17,000 bullets into your guts!!! *RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT*

Akatsuki: : *DOINK* Sigh. Haven't we already established that bullets can't penetrate personal distortion fields? It's that kind of thinking that makes you guys second-rate terrorists. What's next, shoe bombs?

Martian Successor army: Then we'll see how much more IMPUDENCE you can muster after we squash you with an Aestivalis or two!

Genichiro: *FLASH* Oh, now that just won't do at all. Guess I'd better even the odds. *POW SMASH ASSKICK* Hello there, boys. Miss me?

Martian Successor army: Commander Tsukiomi?! That does it, this situation officially calls for a "WATE WUT?"

Erina: I'm… I'm on screen? FINALLY! Thank you, abrupt scene changes! Ahem… Ruri's hooked up with the new Nadesico, so now she's basically Deus Ex Machina In A Can. Which works out nicely because from here on out they're trying to cram a 90-minute movie into a 75-minute time frame.

Akito: Yay, that means the war's over and I can concentrate on exacting my bloody revenge.

Erina: I never expected to hear you talk about vengeance…

Akito: Well, y'know, things change over time. Having your dream career and your wife ripped away from you by a sadistic jerk-off, being tortured and experimented on, little things like that'll do it to you. It's what led me down the road to becoming a bad ass.

Erina: You're not a bad ass, you're just creepy. Frankly, I'm not sure what I saw in you.

Akito: Yeah, whatever. Thanks for the supplies.

Erina: Oh, I just did it because I've been kowtowed into place and given up on my goal of taking over Nergal. God forbid that an uppity Japanese chick like me ever gets anywhere in life-

Akito: Too bad everyone hates you too much to care. Besides, you're already higher in life than most people, and you don't have a scrambled brain like me-

Lapis: This is a movie, not a support group. You two can kick back with some Yebisu and angst later, now let's move on. I'm sick of standing here looking solemn.

Kusakabe: Okay, hang on. We were kicking ass and taking names and now everything has stopped? I am dangerously close to a "WATE WUT" here. And believe me, you don't want to see me doing a "WATE WUT."

Officer: Well, sir, it seems that since you only recruited guys gullible enough to be goaded into fighting by your corny speeches, the enemy is using reverse psychology to demoralize them. Observe.

Genichiro: Attention former Jovian and Earth soldiers: You suck. If I hadn't killed Tsukumo Shiratori, he would SO be beating every single one of you down like a red-headed stepchild right now.

Ruri: Oh, the hell with it… WATE WUT?!

Nadesico-C: *FLASH*

Ruri: Hi, did I come at a bad time? You guys look a little stressed out… I think your machines could use a nice nap.

Every computer on Mars: *SNORE*

Yamasaki: Uh, wow. She just wiped out our entire operation in one second. I guess the desperation of the writers to wrap the movie up as quickly as possible is truly a power to be reckoned with.

Ruri: Haley, do me a favor and run the ship while I hack these dorks.

Haley: What? But that requires attributes such as responsibility and levelheadedness! Not to mention cojones and an irrepressible dry wit!

Minato: Oh come on, Haley, the entire fleet's already been completely incapacitated. It's not like you have to DO anything…

Haley: Awwwwww… stupid writers rushing the ending! This was my time to shine!

Goat, Jun and Yukina: At least you got a line! We're just sitting here looking busy!

Inez: Whew, that jump was a workout. Well, now that we've had our moments in the spotlight, looks like it's back to the Ruri The Wondergirl Show again.

Seiya: Seems that way.

Inez: …I think it's time to look into getting a new agent.

Seiya: Oh, yeah.

Ruri: Now that that's out of the way… how are you gentlemen! All your ruin are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

Kusakabe: We have no chance to survive make our time.

Officers: WHAT YOU SAY!

Kusakabe: I'm saying it's over. Guarantee my men's safety and I'll turn myself in.

Ruri: Gee, that was easy.

Thousands of anime fans: What?! He just gave up?! Where's the ka-boom?! There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering ka-boom!!! Or a Mars-shattering ka-boom!!! Whatever, we're not picky!!!

Hokushin: *FLASH* Not to worry, folks, I'm here to provide it. I'm da party poopah! CHARGE!!!

Minato: Uh, captain, Mr. Off-kilter Eyeballs and his gang are, uh, flocking this way.

Ruri: Oh, whatever.

Hokushin: I'm a terrorist and that's okay/ I kill all night and I… kill… all day… um… oh, hey, it's him again.

Akito: *FLASH* Boom shaka laka.

Thousands of anime fans: It's about goddamn time. Make with the mindless violence and mayhem already!


On to the Nadesico Movie: Part Eleven