(Da Sequel)

AD 2198

Ruri: Well, after we skipped town with the relic, the war came screeching to a halt in a big hurry.

UEF: Tell you what, everybody, we'll let you do your own thangs, just don't tell anyone about boson jumping, K?

Akito: Look mommy! I grew up to be a barely-hacking-it ramen cook!

Genichiro: Hey guys, wanna hear something crazy? I killed Tsukumo. And it was on Kusakabe's orders. Is that nuts or what?

Akiyama and Saburota: Admiral Kusakabe, you�

Jovians: Ssssssssuuuuucccckkkkk!!!!

Kusakabe: This looks like a good time to skip town-er, planet.

Genichiro: My work here is done. *disappear*

Akiyama: Guess I'm calling the shots now, huh? Okay, screw the war.

Yurika: Hey Ruri, would you like to live with me?

Minato: No way! I get her! I'm the one who's been calling her "Ruri-Ruri" since episode 6, remember?

Ruri: Um.

Prospector: I've got a good idea: Let's settle this with a tug of war. And Ruri's the rope.

Ruri: Ow.

Minato: King Solomon you ain't, Prospector. Oh fine, Yurika, take her. I have my hands full with Yukina anyway.

Yurika: Well, back to the fleet for me. You're still secure in your manhood even if I'm the breadwinner, right Akito?

Akito: And when she's walkin' she's lookin' so fi-yi-yine/
And when she's talkin' she says that she's mi-yi-yine/
She'll see I'm not so tough, just because/
I'm in love with an uptown girl� huh? Oh, sure. I'll just be selling ramen from a street cart.

AD 2199

Admiral Misumaru: Dammit, it's every rich father's worst nightmare come true: My daughter is in love with a penniless wuss.

Akito: Uh oh. I love her, she loves me/
But I don't fit her society/
Lord have mercy on a boy from down in the boondocks!

Yurika: Jun, my dad's being a dork about Akito. Would you help me?

Jun: I'm digging my own grave here by doing this, not that you care. My life sucks.

Admiral Misumaru: Akito sucks.

Yurika: No, dad, you suck. I'm running away. And I'm taking Ruri with me.

Akito: Well! This is one cozy little domestic scene. Three people crammed into an apartment I don't even own.

Seiya: Hope you don't mind if I'm constantly peeping. My family DOES own the apartments, so, uh� it's just security surveillance. So go ahead and carry on with whatever you usually do, up to and including wild sex. Yeah.

Ruri: �I'm happy.

Akito: Yurika, your dad may be a moron, but I'm gonna try to win him over. We can't keep living in sin.

Yurika: What? Was the sin too hot and dirty for you?

Akito: Admiral, I am going to marry your daughter.

Yurika: Dad, I am going to marry this wuss.

Admiral Misumaru: I'll tell you what, I've got the munchies. Make me some good ramen and you can get married.

Akito: Here you go, utterly normal ramen.

Admiral Misumaru: This is the SHIT. Okay, you can get married.

Akito: Do I have the MAD SKILLZ or what?

Everyone on Earth and Jupiter: We're forming the United Confederation. Nergal, you suck. You're merchants of death.

Akatsuki: So's every other defense contractor. Sheesh, they always pick on the big fish. All right, you hate me that much, you won't see me again. Bye.

United Confederation: YAY!

Akito: This seems like a good time to check out the new Gekigangar 3 movie.

Yurika: A brand new one after 100 years?

Akito: No, a collection of clips plus some fresh material.

Ruri: I'd have to say this is one of the more tactless jabs at the Evangelion movies I've ever seen.

Minato: Whoa, you guys are getting married?

Jun and Ryoko: They're getting married? Oh no!

Akatsuki and Erina: They're getting married? Aw shit.

Yurika and Akito: Yay! We got married! We rock!

Ruri: I guess life can be pretty cool.

Yurika and Akito: Off we go to Mars for our honeymoon!

Shuttle: KABOOM.

Ruri: Suddenly I feel depressed.

Akatsuki: Hmm, so class-A boson jumpers, which Akito and Yurika both happened to be, are disappearing. Call it businessman's intuition, but I think something fishy's going on. Psst, Inez, do yourself a favor and fake your own death.

Inez: Okey dokey.

Akito: So I'm not dead, just in captivity. Um� I seem to have lost my senses of taste and smell. And I need those.

Kusakabe: Oh, THAT. That's just because the boson-jumping experiments my scientists conducted on you screwed up your brain. And I hope you don't mind your wife being forcibly sedated and fused to a computer.

Akito: RAGE.

Kusakabe: Aw, it's so CUTE how the nanomachines in your face light up when you get pissed! We should nickname you "Rudolph."

Goat and Genichiro: Hey there, Akito. Hope you don't mind if we save your short-circuited ass.

Akito: Shit. I've got a misfiring brain and my wife's in a coma. I have MAD SKILLZ, but they must get MADDER if I am to save her.

Genichiro: Okay, I guess I'll train you then. Never mind that you were already kicking my ass back in episode 16.

Ruri: My life sucks.

Yukina: Hey Ruri, I noticed you're kinda down, Akito and Yurika being dead and all. Would you like to come live with me and Minato? Just three nubile, very good looking anime chicks with no men in our lives all alone in one house � not that there's anything wrong with that�

Hentai-Doujinshi artists: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Of course not!!!

AD 2200

Akatsuki: Hey Akito, let's make a deal. These guys called the Martian Successors are holding your wife-

Thousands of anime fans: So THAT explains the title!!!

Akatsuki: Anyway. You work for us to screw up these guys' operations, and we find out where Yurika is for you.

Akito: I may be in debt to you for freeing me, but I'm not gonna join Nergal.

Akatsuki: Whoa tiger, who said anything about joining Nergal? You do whatever the hell you want, just as long as it involves screwing them up.

Erina: Here, have a bitchin' new black transforming mech that is DEFINITELY NOT a knockoff of a Valkyrie from Macross.

Akito: Cool. In that case, time to kick indiscriminate ass. *BOOM*

Lapis: Eep.

Akito: What's a creepy girl like you doing in a place like this?

Lapis: Being exploited by the Martian Successors, duh. Um� who are you?

Akito: I am a bad ass.

Lapis: You just go right on thinking that.

Akito: You're just like Ruri. How'd you like to become my sidekick?

Lapis: Does it mean I'll have to stand in direct sunlight?

Akiyama: Hey Saburota! Mr. Asamiya says you're going to have a bigger role in the movie, so� go be Ruri's bodyguard.

Saburota: Oh, all right. Hey Ruri, check out my new hairstyle! Do I rock or what?

Ruri: Saburota, your hair is an inspiration to us all. Suddenly I have my motivation back. Let's go join the UEF.

Admiral Misumaru: Tell you what, squirt. I was planning on giving my daughter command of this new ship, the NS-955-B Nadesico-B, but seeing as she and Akito are pushing up daisies now and you're sort of my granddaughter (and starting to become rather hot) I thought you might want to have it.

Ruri: So I go right to commanding my own ship. This is going to be weird without Yurika and Akito, Saburota. I don't have anyone who understands me now.

Haley: Hi Ruri, I'm Haley/Hari/Harry/whatever Makibi. I'm a wimpy, girly, easily flustered bishounen, and I'm also a genetically engineered wunderkind like you. The world is tragic and filled with idiots.

Ruri: SCORE!


On to the Nadesico Movie: The Prince of Darkness