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Megaman X1 Dr. Cain: Whoa, big shiny thing. I wanna touch it. Dr. Light's Ghost: Hey douchebag, careful what you're touching. I sealed this advanced robot prototype in here to test his systems and make sure he doesn't, oh, I don't know, destroy the world and stuff. You better make sure he's on the up and up before you let him out. Dr. Cain: Yeah, whatever. How's it going, robot? X: Hi, I'm the first robot with emotions. Unfortunately, that means at some point I'm going to turn into a weeping whining wussy who can't deal with the responsibilities thrust upon him. Dr. Cain: Cheer up, emo robot. I copied your design to make thousands of Reploids who can feel just like you and therefore be a support group for your emo whiny ass. X: K. Dr. Cain: And I'm sure they won't use their newfound emotions to become genocidal maniacs determined to wipe out humanity or something. Mavericks: Ha ha! Suckers! *blow stuff up* Dr. Cain and X: F |_| >< 0 |2. Dr. Cain: Okay then, I'll just build some Maverick Hunters like Sigma, here, to persuade the Mavericks to stop destroying things by destroying THEM. Sigma, go kill the Mavericks. Sigma: Righty-o. Hold that, on second thought I've decided I'd rather become their leader and kill you all. Dr. Cain and X: F |_| >< 0 |2. X: Okay, then, I guess I will just have to take up the mantle of my predecessor and go kick Maverick ass!
Vile: Except you're a total pussy. I hope you enjoy being squashed into a tin can by my ride armor, emo fag. X: Eep. Nobody told me they had Boba Fett on their side, too. Zero: Here comes Mighty Mouse!!! *blows away Vile's armor* Vile: Ack! Somebody who knows what he's doing! Run away! Run away! X: I'm no Maverick Hunter. My life bar isn't even half as big as the original Megaman. Zero: Come on now, X, there's no need for life bar envy. I bet if you find some way to upgrade yourself, you won't be such a pansy any more. X: And just how am I supposed to do that? Dr. Light's Ghost: You're giving me a bad name, X. Here, I made these power-up capsules so you won't be such a pansy any more. X: Wait, wait. If you were so afraid of my power, then why did you make enhancements to make me more powerful?
Dr. Light's Ghost: …I don't have to answer that. Now go blow up those 8 Mavericks to get more weapons. *blinks out of existence* X: K. *blows up 8 Maverick bosses* Zero: Okay, X, while you were blowing up those Mavericks, I managed to fend off my hordes of fangirls and long list of female characters that haven't been introduced yet who want to jump my robot bones long enough to find Sigma's fortress! Let's go! X: Glory hog. Vile: 'Sup? Zero: I'll beat him, X! Vile: …you were saying? Zero: Crap. X: Never fear, Zero! I'll show this guy how much stronger I am now! Vile: …you were saying?
X: Crap. Zero: Oh yeah? Well, eat this! *goes kamikaze on Vile's ass* Vile: Poopy, he got rid of my ride armor. If there is one thing I despise it is a fair fight, but if I must, then I must. X: You killed Zero. Die. Vile: Crap! Nobody told me being emo would make him stronger! *dies* Zero: X… X… there is… another… Skywalker… *dies* X: Alone… I'm all alone… well, guess there's nothing else to do but… RAMPAGE!!! *blows stuff up* Sigma: The force is strong with you, young X, but you are not a Maverick Hunter yet… *activates lightsaber* X: I'm older than you, smartass! *kills Sigma* Sigma: Strike me down with all of your hatred, and your journey towards the Maverick side will be complete. *activates big ass machine of death and general mayhem* X: Never! I'll never turn to the Maverick side. You have failed, Sigma! I am a Maverick Hunter, like the original Megaman before me! *kills big ass machine of death and general mayhem* Sigma: Fucking h4XX0|2!!! *dies* X: Well, I won, but now I'm all alone. And the Mavericks aren't finished yet. I don't want to fight, yet I must! My life… is a river of pain! CRAAAAAWWWWWWWWLLLLLINNNGGGGGGGGGG IIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN MYYYYYYY SKIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN, THESE WOOOOUUUUUUNNNDS, THEY WIIIILLLLLLLLL NOT HEAAAAAALLLLLLLLL… Sigma: I'm not dead yet! I think I'll go for a walk! I feel ha-ppy! X: At least one of us does… |
