Part Two

Elena: Uh… what the hell happened?

Ryudo: Scary purple mist surrounding the tower. THAT'S what the hell happened.

Elena: Uh oh, the Darkness. The really really REALLY poo is already in the fan Darkness. Where'd everybody go?

Ryudo: Dead. Now let's scram.

Elena: No, I shall save them!

Ryudo: No, you shall not. They all died and you got freaky wings. Now quit whining and let's go.

Carius: Ah, hey there! How'd it go?

Elena: I failed. Miserably.

Carius: Don't sweat it, my child. The world may be doomed now, but I can roll with the punches.

Ryudo: I intend to get the hell out of here, but… before I go… XPLANATION PLZ.

Elena: Oh geez, I've got Wings… and Wings are very bad things to have…

Carius: Go sleep it off, kid. Anyway… failed Ceremony… Possession… Wings… pay attention, I'm dropping plot points a-go-go.

Ryudo: I REALLY feel like I'm being left out of the loop here…

Carius: Oh yeah, that tower held the, uh, Wings of Valmar. We tried to seal them, but obviously our magic was teh SUXX0R. We have to be worried about the other Seals now. Even the Pope can't protect them. Now Elena's soul is going to be eaten. Man, and my daughter Tessa bit it, too. But we mustn't ever give up! Dark skies gonna clear up, PUT on a happy face…

Ryudo: The clergy's capacity for self delusion never ceases to amaze me.

Carius: Ryudo, I wanna hire you again. To keep on being Elena's bodyguard, and get her to the Cathedral so the Pope can save her, while having a hell of a lot of detours and delays along the way. Maybe even save the world. This is an RPG, after all…

Ryudo: Sorry pal, I don't give a damn. I'm just THAT cynical.

Carius: We'll pay you.

Ryudo: OK, changed my mind. Oops, big flash outside. Shall we check it out?


Ryudo: Settle down, gramps, it's just a-WHOA! HELLO!

Millenia: It's-a me, Millenia! The coolest character in this game! AKA Love Interest #2! Hi, hot stuff.

Ryudo: Yowza! Red Alert! Incoming hottie, twelve o'clock high! Stand by for initial salvo of flirting!

Carius: Ryudo, get a grip. And a clue. She's EVIL! She's got big black Wings, see?

Millenia: Oh, details, details. After I toast this town, wanna screw?

Ryudo: Duuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh… wait, first, are you evil?

Millenia: What made you think that? Because I made lightning barely touch the church?

Carius: Leave the church alone, you meanie! Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

Ryudo: Shut up, old man, I'll handle this. Hey, Ugly!

Millenia: Gasp!

Ryudo: Yeah, you! Ugly! Get down here and fight.

Millenia: I've only been around a minute and a half and I'm already in a psychologically abusive relationship! Waaaahh!!! Grrr, that does it. I hope you have some non-essential organs, because I'm going to bust SOMETHING up.

Ryudo: Bring it.

Millenia: Suit yourself. *BOOM BLAST SHOOT ZAP ASSKICK*

Ryudo: Ouchie. I'm gonna be sore in the morning.

Millenia: Don't worry, I still like ya. Next time, I'll leave you sore in the morning in an entirely different manner. Rrrrrrrrowr! See ya around!

Ryudo: So… if I take the job… I'll run into the hottie again… SIGN ME UP, CARIUS!!!


Skye: Uh, Ryudo… WTF. You don't get involved in stuff like this, normally… YOU HATE RELIGION, remember?

Ryudo: Money, money, money, Skye. Can you hear the gravy train calling?

Skye: That statue's only worth 500 G. You really DO like that choir girl. AND the demon chick, it seems.

Ryudo: Skye, old buddy, old pal? I hear birds taste good over an open fire with barbecue sauce.

Elena: Okay Ryudo, now that Father Carius gave you your cheap ass statue, shall we be off to St. Heim?

Ryudo: You up to it?

Elena: Are you questioning my resolve, not to mention my perky spunk? Bring it!

Ryudo: Oh joy, I'm a babysitter now. Let's make with the adventuring… the sooner I get you there, the sooner I can leave.

Elena: Off we go through the Inor Mountains! Yeah, I'm perky and he's pissed! Yeah, I'm weak and he's strong! We're so perfectly matched! Oh, I'm a little bit country, he's a little bit rock and roll---SHRIEK.

Ryudo: God, shut UP. Even Skye scares you. Wuss.

Elena: Oh yeah? Well… you suck!

Ryudo: And you swallow. Care to explain what happened back there in the tower?

Elena: It's a Granas thang, you wouldn't understand.

Ryudo: Oh really. Could it be that you refuse to talk to me because I HATE RELIGION? Fine, be that way. And thanks for proving my point, you elitist whiner.

Elena: You suck! And I'd rather have Skye peck my eyes out than sleep in the same place as you.

Ryudo: Hmm, that could have gone better… I think I might need to develop tact.


Ryudo: Shut up or you're roast capon. But yeah, now that you mention it, I do feel a bit guilty about having repeated chortles at Her Fussiness's expense.

Elena: Awww, what a sweetie, he regrets it! Well, good morning, Ryudo! Let's get a move on! *smile*

Ryudo: Could you go back to being pissed at me? You're freaking me out. Well, here's Agear Town.

Elena: Wow, what a DUMP.

Ryudo: Get used to it, we're following the Game Arts convention of having to solve some big problem in every town we go into.

Elena: So we're doing God's work?

Ryudo: Nah, "dragging the game out with fetch quests in lieu of real plot" is more like it. Hey, did I mention that I know the innkeeper here?

Elena: That's preposterously convenient. I'll just be getting drunk on Kuko Berries while you chat him up.

Vyx: Hey hey, I'm a minor character! You guys can't get through 'cause monsters blocked the road.

Roan: Hey hey, I'm a PLAYABLE character! Whaddya say, random traveling circus group, would ya help me find my medal?

Gonzola: Uh, no.

Risotto: I'm really stupid. And I say no.

Paella: I'm a henpecker. And I say no.

Carpaccio: I'm greasy. And I say no.

Roan: Aw, come on, you can't resist my underaged-bishounen charms!

Gonzola: Talk to the Geohound.

Roan: Uh, hey, would you-

Ryudo: Talk to the Geohound's hand.

Elena: Aw, come on Ryudo, how can you resist an underaged bishounen like that?

Ryudo: Elena, you SUCK. Shut up.

Roan: Well, that was lame. Time to sulk in the corner.

Elena: But Ryyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuudooooooooooo…

Ryudo: I HATE YOU ALL, SHUT THE HELL UP. Yeesh. Now get back to getting stoned off plot-point fruit.

Elena: If you insist! *THUD.*

On to Part 3