Part 9

Wakka: Whoa. Somethin' WEIRD goin' down 'round here, ya?

Lulu: You got that right. Something terrible must've happened to Lord Jyscal to want to make him come back from the dead like that.

Yuna: Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it has nothing to do with Lord Seymour. I'm going to go meet with him. You guys stay here.

Tidus: So, Lulu. What do YOU think about Yuna getting married?

Lulu: Enh. Either she does or she doesn't. Won't change things either way. It'd be nice if she could marry for love, but she probably can't. Oh, and don't even THINK about falling in love with her yourself.

Tidus: Oookay... I'm just gonna go over here and try to find someone to talk to who ISN'T a total crabass...

Shelinda: Hi!

Tidus: Oh God. Talk about being caught between two extremes, here.

Shelinda: Maester Seymour's skipped town. He's gone to the temple of Macalania.

Tidus: Geez... What an asshole.

Yuna: Looks like we'll have to follow him. Please ignore the fact that I appear to be in deep distress.

Rikku: YOU'RE in deep distress? We have to go through the Thunder Plains! ..... Um. I just remembered. I had an appointment to get my hair feathers re-fluffed. G'bye!

Lulu: There's nothing to be scared of. The lightning will be drawn to the tops of those towers. And anyway, since Tidus is the only one who appears on the screen, any lightning which may strike true is gonna fry HIM.

Tidus: Yeah. It's gonna fry---HEY WAITAMINUTE!

Lightning: **KRACKKK**

Rikku: AIEEE! This is terrible!

Tidus: Hey, look on the bright side. At least things can't get any worse.

Shelinda: Hi! Short time no see!

Tidus: I stand corrected...

Shelinda: I heard that Lady Yuna and Maester Seymour are gonna get married!

Tidus: Well, you must've heard it from the Iraqi Minister of Information, 'cause it ain't happenin'!

Shelinda: Aww. It would've made everyone SO happy, too...

Tidus: Shut....up.

Lightning: **KRACK** **EXPLODE**

Wakka: Whoa. THAT was close.

Rikku: TOO CLOSE! *insane cackling*

Tidus: Uh, guys? I think Rikku's gone off the deep end.

Wakka: Gee, Tidus. What makes you say that?

Rikku: getmeoutofheregetmeoutofheregetmeoutofheregetmeoutofheregetmeoutofheregetmeoutofhere

Tidus: Okay, but you're not ridin' my leg the rest of the way.

Rikku: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!! Um, we could stop off at this nearby Travel Agency, couldn't we?

Tidus: Or we could just kill you, skin you, and turn you into a rain slicker.

Auron: Oh for the love of.... Okay. We'll let the baby have her bottle. We'll stop for the night.

Tidus: Hm. Yuna's not her cheerful self lately. I think I'll stop by her room and--Gee. She's got her TV on awfully loud.--Whoops! Hey, Yuna! mind if I drop in?

Yuna: You already have, apparently..

Tidus: Hey, isn't that a hologram of that Jyscal guy?

Lord Jyscal: Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope...

Yuna: Yeah. He wants me to take care of his son.

Tidus: Ooh. "Take care" of him. As in, "plug him between the eyes with a thirty-aught-six?"

Yuna: No.

Tidus: Damn. Oh well. One can dream...

Yuna: I'm outta here..

Wakka: Hey, blondie! Give the girl her space, whydoncha?

Tidus: Why do I always have to be in the dark about everything?

Rikku: Speaking of "being in the dark," this bad weather isn't gonna let up, is it?

Auron: You still scared?

Rikku: No! I'm not scared of anything!...Except maybe that mad paparazzo that just ran by.

Lulu: Boy, those tabloid newspapers sure don't waste any time hopping onto a story, do they?

Tidus: There IS no story for them to hop onto! Yuna's not going to marry that Seymour guy!

Yuna: Actually, I am.

Tidus: Oh.......................................................................
................................................................................. Shit.

Tidus: ....Gah...I stands re-ject-ed.

Auron: Hey blondie. Keep an eye on Yuna. I think she's up to something.

Tidus: Yeah. Something which doesn't look like it's going to involve "making out with me" at any point.

Rikku: Who's woods these are, I think I know.

Barthello: Uh, I lost Dona. You guys seen her?

Tidus: No, thank goodness.

Auron: Don't panic, big guy. It's not going to do you any good.

Rikku: It sure as hell didn't do ME any good...

Bird-man with Harp: Care to play an impossibly hard, butterfly-themed mini-game?

Tidus: The weirdness never stops in this world, does it?

Auron: Come this way. I've got something cool to show you.

Tidus: Oh. A pond. Neat.

Auron: This is what recordable spheres are made of. It's also a stomping ground for monsters.

Tidus: Ya don't say?

Spherimorph: Glurb.

Tidus: Die.

Spherimorph: Splork. *EXPLODE* *MELT*

Auron: See? There WAS a point to our coming here. Here's your Dad's home movies.

Young Auron: Geez. Even as a YOUNG MAN, I'm a curmudgeon...

Jecht: Woo hoo! We're on an ad-VENT-choor!

Braska: Oh God. I'm starting to feel like the ringmaster at a circus. It's like traveling with the Odd Couple.

Tidus: What was the point of that?

Rikku: Wait. There's more...

Jecht: Hi, son. Just wanted to let you know I care about you and I'm not the jerk you might think I am.

Tidus: Oh great. How come you didn't tell me all this crap back at a time when I might have cared?

Auron: Hey. Take it easy. The guy loved you.

Tidus: Oh really? I guess the constant put-downs and humiliation was just his way of showing it.

Clasko: Welcome to Lovely Lake Macalania!

Tidus: Lovely? To a polar bear, maybe...

Tromell: Ah. You're here already, Lady Yuna. Lord Seymour told me to tell you he was sorry he had to bugger off.

Yuna: 'S okay. He'll still let me finish my pilgrimage if we get hitched, right?

Tromell: But of course. Now, we must follow Guado tradition...

Tidus: ...which is to have Yuna follow you and the rest of us freeze our asses off in the cold. Great. Whattaya wanna bet she won't last five seconds on her own without running into trouble?

Yuna: AIEEE!

Tidus: What'd I tell ya?

Wakka: It's the Al Bhed! They're attacking!

Guy with Mohawk: *GIBBERISH*

Rikku: Uh-oh! He says our magic and aeons have been sealed away! He's also telling us to eat this big-ass Cannon he's brought with him.

Tidus: Oh yeah? We'll show him!

Crawler & Negator: *EXPLODE*

Rikku: Yay! We destroyed them! (Although I am gonna get SO grounded for this...)

Wakka: Hey, how come you can speak Al Bhed, Rikku?

Rikku: Because I AM one. Duh.

Wakka: EEEP! Get thee behind me, you machine-lovin' heathen!

Rikku: Would it even be WORTH trying to reason with him?

Auron: Hey, Wakka! Not all machines are bad. See? These skidoos right here ought to get us to the Ice Temple in no time flat. Which is good, 'cause we're not exactly dressed for an arctic trek.

Lulu: And yet we don't even shiver.

Tidus: Funny, Lulu. With a decolletage like YOURS I would think you'd be feeling just a LITTLE uncomfortable. Or in the very least, that your nipples would be--

Lulu: That's enough, Tidus. Just keep your mind on the road.

Tidus: .....Um, I was wondering, Lulu. People can't become Sin, can they?

Lulu: You know, Tidus? Even for YOU that was an odd thing to say. Why don't we just play The Quiet Game for the rest of the trip, okay?

Tidus: *Sigh.* Okay...

On to Part 10!