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Flonne: I've decided to go back to Celestia and ask the Seraph what the dilly-o is with that whole "invading the Netherworld" thing.
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Laharl: I'm going with you, but I don't want anyone to think it's because I, you know, CARE about you or anything.
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Etna: Of course not. *sings* Laharl and Flonne sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N--
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Laharl: SILENCE!
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Jennifer: Aw. Puppy love... <3 so cute..
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Gordon: We'll come with you. After all, someone has to be around to keep you two from succumbing to your youthful, hormone-driven urges.
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Thursday: AFFIRMATIVE ...AND I CAN BE YOUR VIRGIN ALARM....BEEP BLIP....
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Laharl: Urge to kill, maim, and grind into a fine powder...RISING....
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Flonne: Here we are, the Gates of Celestia! I'll do the honors, since only angels can open it.
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Gate: *FLASH* *OPEN*
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Mid-Boss: Bonjour, mes amis! Welcome to paradise! (Of course, I'm being redundant here, seeing as how anywhere I show up automatically becomes paradise...)
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Laharl: I thought you said only angels can open this gate...
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Flonne: Shyeah. That's what I THOUGHT... There's something WEIRD about this guy.
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Mid-Boss: Nope. I'm just an ordinary demon...passing through here on no particular errand whatsoever...*whistles*
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Laharl: Riiiight.....
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Mid-Boss: Okay, the REAL reason I'm here is to test your strength! Defeat me and these high-level monsters and I shall give you something.
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Laharl: More pathetic excuses, I suspect.
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Mid-Boss: Nope. It's...some encouragement and some profound, philosophical musing on the nature of good, evil, and teamwork!
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Laharl: I much preferred the pathetic excuses.
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Mid-Boss: Welp. Moi's work here is done! See you at the resolution! Ta-ta! *capers off*
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Jennifer: Ah, friendship between rivals! How stirring. How inspirational...
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Laharl: How nauseating...Let's keep moving, shall we?
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Vulcanus: Master Lamington! Flonne and her crack army of demons are invading the Netherworld! You want I should ruthlessly crush them underfoot?
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Seraph: No, just capture them.
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Vulcanus: What's that you said? Destroy them all? Consider it done!
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Flonne: Look! Full-fledged angels!
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Angels: Target sighted. Prepare for termination.
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Flonne: Uhhh, there seems to be some kind of mistake here...
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Angels: No mistake. It says "Bludgeon cutesy angel trainee and her merry band of rag-tag misfit followers to death" right here in the orders we were issued. Plain as day.
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Laharl: Forget it, Flonne. No point trying to reason with this bunch of flying monkeys...
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Etna: Yeah. It looks like we're going to have to use a different form of persuasion on them...
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Flonne: But. I'm a Celestian! I don't believe in violence!
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Laharl: That never stopped you from using it before...
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Flonne: You're right... Let's go kick some angel hinder!
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Angels: AIEEE! *splut*
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????: Well, we've succeeded in getting the principal cast to risk their lives and come all the way out here without giving them the slightest hint about our true intentions.
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Seraph: Yes...we're a couple of real bastards, aren't we?.... So then, you think our little pawns have any chance of winning?
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????: About as good a chance as this game has of wrapping up with a lucid, comprehensive, and emotionally satisfying ending.
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Seraph: ....That bad, eh?
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Vulcanus: So, Flonne... We meet again...
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Flonne: Master Vulcanus...You're looking...less scary today...
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Etna: THAT'S an angel? Looks more like a B-movie heavy to me...
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Jennifer: Yup. That guy definitely has a mug like a villain.
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Vulcanus: Sticks and stones may break my bones...and now I'm going to break yours!
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Flonne: Master Vulcanus, if you'd just listen to reason...
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Vulcanus: Pah! Don't think your stupid "reason" and "logic" are going to work against me! I'm totally right in thinking that demons are evil and that humans are stupid!
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Flonne: Are not!
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Vulcanus: Are too!
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Flonne: Are not! YOU'RE the one who's evil and stupid!
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Laharl: That's it, Flonne. Read him the Riot Act!
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Jennifer, Etna, Thursday and Gordon: You GO, girl!
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Vulcanus: Grrr! Fools! Call ME a villain! Pah! Such a notion is entirely ridiculous! ....Now then, if you don't mind, I'm just going to leave my henchmen here to destroy you all while I bugger off for no explainable reason. Bye! *vanish*
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Angels: Die.
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Laharl: No. YOU die.
*swing* *slash* *pow*
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Angels: BLARG! *die*
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Laharl: Well, THAT was boring. Where's that Seraph guy? I'd like to go a couple rounds with him.
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Flonne: Well, I'm going to continue to have faith in him.
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Gordon: Atta girl. I'm sure everything will turn out okay. After all, blind, insane optimism has never failed us before!
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Laharl: Neither has mindless violence. Guess which of these I have more faith in?
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Vulcanus: So, Miss Flonne...... It seems you have a nasty habit of...surviving...
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Gordon: Uh-oh! He's starting to talk like a James Bond villain! Which can only mean he's luring us into some kind of trap!
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Vulcanus: Silence, you classless, addle-brained, overacting, Science Fiction movie cliche!
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Gordon: Overacting? Why you--!!
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Vulcanus: THIS will shut you up!*summon*
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Flonne: He summoned demons! POWERFUL demons!
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Thursday: DANGER..DANGER...DEMONS FAR TOO POWERFUL TO COMPUTE ODDS OF VICTORY...SUFFICE TO SAY...WE'RE SCREWED....BEEP BLIP....
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Etna: No shiat, Robby.....This is all your fault, Laharl, for setting such a bad example for your subjects.
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Laharl: And I don't suppose there's any way these super-demons could've learned their traitorous, greedy, underhanded behavior from YOU, Etna...
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Vulcanus: Enjoy your untimely and highly ironic deaths! Mwa! *vanish*
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Laharl: Welp, looks like Tin Can Man was right. We're screwed.
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Gordon: Screwed, blooed, mooed and tattooed...
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Etna: Dude...
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????: But wait! All is not lost, for you see...I HAVE ARRIVED JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!
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Laharl: And you are--?
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????: Don't you recognize me? The eyes flashing with righteous indignation, the proud, burning spirit, the bold stance of a hero resolute with grim, heroic determination!!!
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Everyone: ....
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????: Fine....It's me..........Kurtis...
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Jennifer: Kurtis?! But... aren't you supposed to be in Heaven now?
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Kurtis: Yeah, well...Turns out I was too evil to be let in, so I got slapped with community service instead. So here I am. Ready to serve my community!
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Everyone: ..........BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG!! SO KAWAII!!!
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Kurtis: Oh, this is mature. I guess you guys don't really need my help, do you?
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Gordon: On the contrary. We find your presence very inspiring.
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Etna: And, since Mid-Boss has decided to become all serious and shit, we'll need SOMEONE to take over his role as comic relief.
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Kurtis: ....I should've just let the demons eat you, shouldn't I?
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Laharl: Probably. But seeing as you're already here, you might as well lend us a hand, er flipper.
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Kurtis: ....Fine.
**LONG, UNGODLY HARD BATTLE**
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Super Demons: CROAK!!
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Jennifer: Welp, now we've only got Mr. Big and Fugly to take care of.
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Angels: No unauthorized personnel allowed in the Seraphic Sanctuary. Get lost!
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Flonne: Uh-oh! They have an unbreakable forcefield!
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Laharl: Let's try and break it then.
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THEY TRY, THEY FAIL...
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Flonne: No! We'll never be able to break it by attacking it separately! We must unite together in love and friendship and focus all our powers upon it at once!
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Laharl: I'm all for that. Except for the love and friendship part...
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THEY TRY AGAIN.
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Forcefield: *SHATTER*
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Flonne: We did it! Next stop! The Hall of Justice!
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Etna: Isn't that where the Superfriends live?
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Laharl: Yes, although I doubt if we'll be seeing any ambiguously gay, spandex-wearing agents of good running around this joint.
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Etna: One never can tell with THIS game. It had friggin' SPACEMEN after all, didn't it?
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Vulcanus: So, Flonne. It seems I underestimated you...again.
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Laharl: Well, it would seem there IS one disgusting agent of good running around here.
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Etna: Fortunately, he is NOT wearing spandex...
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Vulcanus: Silence! Don't you all want to hear me reveal my nifty Ultimate Plan?
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Vulcanus: Why bother? It'll probably turn out to be something petty and stupid.
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Vulcanus: No it's not! My big Ultimate Plan is...... to Rule the Universe!
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Laharl: Petty, stupid, AND uncreative...
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Vulcanus: Shut it, you! Once I take control of the universe, I shall bring peace to every corner of it!
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Flonne: And just how is killing lots of people going to accomplish peace?
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Vulcanus: Well....dead people are pretty peaceful, aren't they?
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Laharl: Enough o' dis. Let's waste 'im...
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*BATTLE* *SEVERE ASSWHUPPING*
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Vulcanus: Noo! This cannot be! I'M INVINC-----Oh wait. I can just get the Seraph to take care of you. Ha-HA! *runs*
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Gordon: Jerk.
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Kurtis: This looks bad.
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Laharl: THIS....looks like we're going to have to go head to head with a certain Seraph!
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Flonne: Geez, Laharl. Try not to sound TOO bummed out about it.
*moments later*
Okay. Here we are, the Sacred Altar.
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Laharl: Stay frosty, people.
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Door: *OPEN* *FLASHHHH*
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Vulcanus: Ooh! Seraph! Here comes Flonne with her band of heartless, murdering demons!
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Flonne: Shyeah, right! I'M not the one who led angels to invade the Netherworld!
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Vulcanus: Uhhh...err...Don't listen to her! Quickly! Dispense your holy justice!
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Seraph: Okay. *raises arms*
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**FLASHHHH**
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Vulcanus: *Turns into a flower*
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Flonne: A Tiger Lily? Strange... I would think a Venus Flytrap would've fit his personality better.
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Seraph: Well Flonne, you've saved the day. Unfortunately in the process of doing so you did a bunch of violent stuff to your fellow angels which I'm now going to have to punish you for.
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Flonne: Oh.... Well THAT'S gonna put a damper on the victory celebration...
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Laharl: Um, weren't we all supposed to live happily ever after?
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Flonne: That's okay, Laharl. Even if I do wind up getting screwed for doing the right thing, at least some good came of this situation. Look. My pendant doesn't burn you anymore. That means you must be a good person now.
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Laharl: As the Ruler of Hell, I'm not so sure that's welcome news.
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Flonne: Welp. Time to glibly accept my fate! Gubbye, everybody!
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Seraph: *Raises arms*
**FLASHHHH!**
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Flonne: *Is turned into a flower*
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Seraph: Welp. All's well that ends well.
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Laharl: WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!?? This didn't end well AT ALL!!
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Seraph: Gee. You sound mad.
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Laharl: OF COURSE I"M MAD, YOU SLEEPY-EYED SON OF A BITCH!!! PREPARE TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED!!!
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Seraph: Okay. Hey, it's not like I don't deserve it or anything...
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Next -- The Endings
Home
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