Final Episode - What Lies Beyond the Battle

Flonne: I've decided to go back to Celestia and ask the Seraph what the dilly-o is with that whole "invading the Netherworld" thing.

Laharl: I'm going with you, but I don't want anyone to think it's because I, you know, CARE about you or anything.

Etna: Of course not. *sings* Laharl and Flonne sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N--

Laharl: SILENCE!

Jennifer: Aw. Puppy love... <3 so cute..

Gordon: We'll come with you. After all, someone has to be around to keep you two from succumbing to your youthful, hormone-driven urges.


Laharl: Urge to kill, maim, and grind into a fine powder...RISING....

Flonne: Here we are, the Gates of Celestia! I'll do the honors, since only angels can open it.

Gate: *FLASH* *OPEN*

Mid-Boss: Bonjour, mes amis! Welcome to paradise! (Of course, I'm being redundant here, seeing as how anywhere I show up automatically becomes paradise...)

Laharl: I thought you said only angels can open this gate...

Flonne: Shyeah. That's what I THOUGHT... There's something WEIRD about this guy.

Mid-Boss: Nope. I'm just an ordinary demon...passing through here on no particular errand whatsoever...*whistles*

Laharl: Riiiight.....

Mid-Boss: Okay, the REAL reason I'm here is to test your strength! Defeat me and these high-level monsters and I shall give you something.

Laharl: More pathetic excuses, I suspect.

Mid-Boss: Nope. It's...some encouragement and some profound, philosophical musing on the nature of good, evil, and teamwork!

Laharl: I much preferred the pathetic excuses.

Mid-Boss: Welp. Moi's work here is done! See you at the resolution! Ta-ta! *capers off*

Jennifer: Ah, friendship between rivals! How stirring. How inspirational...

Laharl: How nauseating...Let's keep moving, shall we?

Vulcanus: Master Lamington! Flonne and her crack army of demons are invading the Netherworld! You want I should ruthlessly crush them underfoot?

Seraph: No, just capture them.

Vulcanus: What's that you said? Destroy them all? Consider it done!

Flonne: Look! Full-fledged angels!

Angels: Target sighted. Prepare for termination.

Flonne: Uhhh, there seems to be some kind of mistake here...

Angels: No mistake. It says "Bludgeon cutesy angel trainee and her merry band of rag-tag misfit followers to death" right here in the orders we were issued. Plain as day.

Laharl: Forget it, Flonne. No point trying to reason with this bunch of flying monkeys...

Etna: Yeah. It looks like we're going to have to use a different form of persuasion on them...

Flonne: But. I'm a Celestian! I don't believe in violence!

Laharl: That never stopped you from using it before...

Flonne: You're right... Let's go kick some angel hinder!

Angels: AIEEE! *splut*

????: Well, we've succeeded in getting the principal cast to risk their lives and come all the way out here without giving them the slightest hint about our true intentions.

Seraph: Yes...we're a couple of real bastards, aren't we?.... So then, you think our little pawns have any chance of winning?

????: About as good a chance as this game has of wrapping up with a lucid, comprehensive, and emotionally satisfying ending.

Seraph: ....That bad, eh?

Vulcanus: So, Flonne... We meet again...

Flonne: Master Vulcanus...You're looking...less scary today...

Etna: THAT'S an angel? Looks more like a B-movie heavy to me...

Jennifer: Yup. That guy definitely has a mug like a villain.

Vulcanus: Sticks and stones may break my bones...and now I'm going to break yours!

Flonne: Master Vulcanus, if you'd just listen to reason...

Vulcanus: Pah! Don't think your stupid "reason" and "logic" are going to work against me! I'm totally right in thinking that demons are evil and that humans are stupid!

Flonne: Are not!

Vulcanus: Are too!

Flonne: Are not! YOU'RE the one who's evil and stupid!

Laharl: That's it, Flonne. Read him the Riot Act!

Jennifer, Etna, Thursday and Gordon: You GO, girl!

Vulcanus: Grrr! Fools! Call ME a villain! Pah! Such a notion is entirely ridiculous! ....Now then, if you don't mind, I'm just going to leave my henchmen here to destroy you all while I bugger off for no explainable reason. Bye! *vanish*

Angels: Die.

Laharl: No. YOU die.

*swing* *slash* *pow*

Angels: BLARG! *die*

Laharl: Well, THAT was boring. Where's that Seraph guy? I'd like to go a couple rounds with him.

Flonne: Well, I'm going to continue to have faith in him.

Gordon: Atta girl. I'm sure everything will turn out okay. After all, blind, insane optimism has never failed us before!

Laharl: Neither has mindless violence. Guess which of these I have more faith in?

Vulcanus: So, Miss Flonne...... It seems you have a nasty habit of...surviving...

Gordon: Uh-oh! He's starting to talk like a James Bond villain! Which can only mean he's luring us into some kind of trap!

Vulcanus: Silence, you classless, addle-brained, overacting, Science Fiction movie cliche!

Gordon: Overacting? Why you--!!

Vulcanus: THIS will shut you up!*summon*

Flonne: He summoned demons! POWERFUL demons!


Etna: No shiat, Robby.....This is all your fault, Laharl, for setting such a bad example for your subjects.

Laharl: And I don't suppose there's any way these super-demons could've learned their traitorous, greedy, underhanded behavior from YOU, Etna...

Vulcanus: Enjoy your untimely and highly ironic deaths! Mwa! *vanish*

Laharl: Welp, looks like Tin Can Man was right. We're screwed.

Gordon: Screwed, blooed, mooed and tattooed...

Etna: Dude...

????: But wait! All is not lost, for you see...I HAVE ARRIVED JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!

Laharl: And you are--?

????: Don't you recognize me? The eyes flashing with righteous indignation, the proud, burning spirit, the bold stance of a hero resolute with grim, heroic determination!!!

Everyone: ....

????: Fine....It's me..........Kurtis...

Jennifer: Kurtis?! But... aren't you supposed to be in Heaven now?

Kurtis: Yeah, well...Turns out I was too evil to be let in, so I got slapped with community service instead. So here I am. Ready to serve my community!

Everyone: ..........BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG!! SO KAWAII!!!

Kurtis: Oh, this is mature. I guess you guys don't really need my help, do you?

Gordon: On the contrary. We find your presence very inspiring.

Etna: And, since Mid-Boss has decided to become all serious and shit, we'll need SOMEONE to take over his role as comic relief.

Kurtis: ....I should've just let the demons eat you, shouldn't I?

Laharl: Probably. But seeing as you're already here, you might as well lend us a hand, er flipper.

Kurtis: ....Fine.


Super Demons: CROAK!!

Jennifer: Welp, now we've only got Mr. Big and Fugly to take care of.

Angels: No unauthorized personnel allowed in the Seraphic Sanctuary. Get lost!

Flonne: Uh-oh! They have an unbreakable forcefield!

Laharl: Let's try and break it then.


Flonne: No! We'll never be able to break it by attacking it separately! We must unite together in love and friendship and focus all our powers upon it at once!

Laharl: I'm all for that. Except for the love and friendship part...


Forcefield: *SHATTER*

Flonne: We did it! Next stop! The Hall of Justice!

Etna: Isn't that where the Superfriends live?

Laharl: Yes, although I doubt if we'll be seeing any ambiguously gay, spandex-wearing agents of good running around this joint.

Etna: One never can tell with THIS game. It had friggin' SPACEMEN after all, didn't it?

Vulcanus: So, Flonne. It seems I underestimated you...again.

Laharl: Well, it would seem there IS one disgusting agent of good running around here.

Etna: Fortunately, he is NOT wearing spandex...

Vulcanus: Silence! Don't you all want to hear me reveal my nifty Ultimate Plan?

Vulcanus: Why bother? It'll probably turn out to be something petty and stupid.

Vulcanus: No it's not! My big Ultimate Plan is...... to Rule the Universe!

Laharl: Petty, stupid, AND uncreative...

Vulcanus: Shut it, you! Once I take control of the universe, I shall bring peace to every corner of it!

Flonne: And just how is killing lots of people going to accomplish peace?

Vulcanus: Well....dead people are pretty peaceful, aren't they?

Laharl: Enough o' dis. Let's waste 'im...


Vulcanus: Noo! This cannot be! I'M INVINC-----Oh wait. I can just get the Seraph to take care of you. Ha-HA! *runs*

Gordon: Jerk.

Kurtis: This looks bad.

Laharl: THIS....looks like we're going to have to go head to head with a certain Seraph!

Flonne: Geez, Laharl. Try not to sound TOO bummed out about it.

*moments later*

Okay. Here we are, the Sacred Altar.

Laharl: Stay frosty, people.


Vulcanus: Ooh! Seraph! Here comes Flonne with her band of heartless, murdering demons!

Flonne: Shyeah, right! I'M not the one who led angels to invade the Netherworld!

Vulcanus: Uhhh...err...Don't listen to her! Quickly! Dispense your holy justice!

Seraph: Okay. *raises arms*


Vulcanus: *Turns into a flower*

Flonne: A Tiger Lily? Strange... I would think a Venus Flytrap would've fit his personality better.

Seraph: Well Flonne, you've saved the day. Unfortunately in the process of doing so you did a bunch of violent stuff to your fellow angels which I'm now going to have to punish you for.

Flonne: Oh.... Well THAT'S gonna put a damper on the victory celebration...

Laharl: Um, weren't we all supposed to live happily ever after?

Flonne: That's okay, Laharl. Even if I do wind up getting screwed for doing the right thing, at least some good came of this situation. Look. My pendant doesn't burn you anymore. That means you must be a good person now.

Laharl: As the Ruler of Hell, I'm not so sure that's welcome news.

Flonne: Welp. Time to glibly accept my fate! Gubbye, everybody!

Seraph: *Raises arms*


Flonne: *Is turned into a flower*

Seraph: Welp. All's well that ends well.

Laharl: WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!?? This didn't end well AT ALL!!

Seraph: Gee. You sound mad.


Seraph: Okay. Hey, it's not like I don't deserve it or anything...

Next -- The Endings