Episode Twelve - War of the Netherworld, Part 1

Stellar Graveyard: RUMMMBLEEEEEE!!!

Flonne: What was that?

Etna: That, if I'm not mistaken, was the sound of rapidly advancing plot development.

Laharl: And it sounds like its rapidly advancing our way.

Prinny Squad: Dood! Billions of big spaceship-y things have appeared over at the Stellar Graveyard!

Gordon: Hooray! The EDF has come to save us!

Jennifer: This many ships, Gordon? Something ain't kosher...

Gordon: Oh stop being such a Negative Nancy. Everything will work out fine. You'll see!

Laharl: We'll ALL see. Come, my droogies! To the Stellar Graveyard!

Astronaut: *muffled breathing*

Gordon: What'd I tell you, Miss Doubting Thomasina? It's soldiers of the EDF here to rescue us!

Jennifer: I dunno... They're acting a little...um... what's the word I'm looking for?....

Etna: Creepy. The word is creepy.

Gordon: Oh, don't be ridiculous! They're just awed by my square-jawed good looks, my aura of heroic competence, and my commanding stage presence!

Laharl: Well...Why aren't they saying anything?

Gordon: They're probably just speechless from being in close proximity to such a famous and charismatic celebrity.

Jennifer: I'm afraid not, Gordon. The fact of the matter is, we were being used by the EDF to secure a route to the Netherworld. Our mission to defeat the Overlord was just a sad farce, a pretext, a lie.

Gordon: What? How DARE you accuse the EDF of lying to us! Such treachery! You're fired, Jennifer! Pack up your metallic bikini, clear out your office, and go home!

Jennifer: *sigh* Fine...

Laharl: Slick move, Gordon. You DO know that without her, you're not going to last 15 seconds before running into serious trouble...

Gordon: Oh pshaw! Anyway, it's the sworn duty of a hero to always stick by his employers with unwavering loyalty. Isn't that right, guys?

EDF Soldiers: That's right, Cannon Fodder... By the way, we're here to exterminate you with extreme prejudice. Hope you don't mind.

Gordon: Well, isn't that ni--WHAAAAAAT?

Laharl: 12 seconds, Gordon...

Gordon: Wha--? I don't understand!

EDF Soldiers: It's simple. We shoot you. You fall over and die.

Gordon: Meep.


EDF Soldiers: Blarg! *die*

Gordon: Well, THAT was a narrow escape...But WHY would the EDF try to kill me?

Etna: Maybe because you're the stupidest person in the universe and they don't want to risk having you endanger humanity by polluting the gene pool?


General Carter: Well, Gordon. I see you still haven't kicked the oxygen habit. Oh well. It doesn't matter. You'll be killed by our invasion forces in the impending attack, I'm sure. Thanks for being such a gullible rube, by the way.

Gordon: Gullible Rube?.....Hmmm......You know.... If I didn't know better, I'd say this whole mission to slay the Overlord was nothing but a ruse to get me to open up a path to the Netherworld so the EDF could invade it...

Flonne: Oh, YOU THINK SO?

Laharl: Well, Flonne. It looks like you'll have to relinquish your Crazy Award to THIS guy...

Gordon: I...uh.. I knew it was a ruse all along!

Etna: And it looks like we'll have to give him the "World's Least Convincing Liar" Award as well...

General Carter: So long, suckers! Muahahahaha!

Laharl: What a devious, conniving, greedy, thieving, underhanded bastard! Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Etna?

Etna: That we should offer him a job in our Internal Revenue Department?

Laharl: Yes. I'll draw up the recruitment papers...

Flonne: Could you two be serious for just one second?

Jennifer: I can...

Gordon: Gee, Jennifer you seem.... sad about something...

Laharl: I'm no expert in psychology, but your calling her a traitor and then sacking her might have something to do with her present mood.

Gordon: Whoops. My bad.


????: Hello, Gordon.

Gordon: Who's there?

Kurtis: It's me. Kurtis. The true Defender of Earth.

Flonne: Ooh! A rival! The plot is thickening before our eyes here!

Etna: Pipe down, you hopeless fangirl.

Kurtis: So, Gordon... I see once again that you've managed to whiz this whole "hero" thing down your pant leg.

Gordon: And I see you're still deluding yourself into believing that you'd make a better Defender of Earth than me.

Kurtis: Why wouldn't I? I've got the cool gadgets. I've got the flashy special effects, I'm ruggedly good-looking in a "Roam from the old Zelda: Link to the Past Nintendo Power Comic" kind of way. And most of all I--unlike you-- am NOT a complete screw-up.

Gordon: You're right. I dropped the ball big time... And I suppose I could be described as something of a failure right now...

Etna: You mean a complete failure...

Flonne: Shhh! You're not supposed to interrupt the Big, Self-Disclosing, Dramatic Speech between the Long-Time Anime Rivals! SHEESH!

Gordon: But even though I fucked up big time, I know I STILL have the spirit of a hero burning inside of me! And now that I know who the real bad guy is, I'm going to go right out, kick his ass, and redeem myself! Tonight, I will taste, the sweet, sweet meat of VICTORY!

Kurtis: Fine. Here are some appetizers, then...

EDF Soldiers: *muffled breathing*

Laharl: Oh great. The Michelin Men are back...


Vulcanus: Gloat, gloat, exposition, exposition.....and now back to our show...

Flonne: Yikes! I'm sensing an evil presence close by.

Laharl: Um, that would be me.

Flonne: No.. It wasn't you... This was a "Darth Vader" type evil. You're more of a "Problem Child 3" type evil...

Laharl: Whatever. Let's just hurry and get this over with...

Jennifer: *sigh* *mope*


Gordon: What? You talking to ME? Oh....well..I suppose I did bear at least a little of the blame for this...

Jennifer: No, Gordon. *Sigh* This was all MY fault...You see, there's something about me that you don't know. Some really big, dark secret that I will reveal to everybody right n----

Laharl: --You might want to put that plot development on the stove and let it simmer awhile, toots, because we've got company.

Kurtis: Hello again. Well, I can see now who the REAL threat is around here...Care to have a go at it?

Laharl: You mean, fight in hand-to-hand combat, right?

Kurtis: Of course.

Laharl: *whew*


Laharl: This can't be all you've got.

Kurtis: It isn't, but I don't want to injure the Very Imporant Person who's standing close to us.

Flonne: Aww. He's got a crush on me...

Etna: Gordon, you know that Crazy Award Flonne gave you earlier? Well.... she needs it back now...

Spaceship: RUMMMBBLLEE!!!


Kurtis: Say hi to the afterlife for me, suckers. Oh, and I almost forgot. Jennifer. Your Dad wants to see you. Come with me.

Jennifer: I don't think so, beak-nose.

Gordon: Gee, Jennifer. I thought your Dad was dead. Hey, this wouldn't have anything to do with that big secret about yourself that you alluded to earlier...

Kurtis: Big secret? Oh, you mean the fact that her foster father is General Carter?

Gordon: Yipes. That's a BIG SECRET allright...

Jennifer: Father wants to exploit me again? Allright... Just this once...I guess...

Gordon: No way, Jennifer! You know the only one who is allowed to exploit you is ME! Look...I don't care whose daughter you are! You're MY assistant!

Etna: And the reason she'd want to continue working for a cad like you is--?

Gordon: Shut it, you! Jennifer! Listen to your heart! What does it say?

Jennifer: It says...that despite my intelligence, strength and general competence, that I should advance the plot by feebly allowing myself to be captured by the enemy.

Kurtis: The enemy being, of course, me. Yoink! *kidnap* *flies off*


Flonne: Ooh! It's REALLY getting good now! Er..I mean.. How awful!

Gordon: I'm screwed. Life sucks.


Episode Thirteen - War of the Netherworld, Part 2