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General Carter: Well, thanks to men like me, the planet Earth is toast. Our only hope now lies in invading the Netherworld and sucking it of all it's resources.
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Vulcanus: Nice intro, General Exposition. So, you got your fleet all fired up and ready to go?
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General Carter: Yes. With your help, we will not fail!
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Vulcanus: You sure about that?
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General Carter: As sure as I am that you're someone who can be wholly trusted.
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Vulcanus: *Sigh* I have SUCH a good feeling about this... *vanish*
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EDF Fleet: *BLAST OFF*
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Gordon: There's no way out of this world. I'm trapped. TRAPPED!...Wait. The EDF. When they find out I've vanished, surely they'll come and rescue me!
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Laharl: Um, isn't that something you should be keeping to yourself instead of blurting aloud in a dramatic fashion in front of your captors?
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Jennifer: You really think the EDF will come for us, Gordon?
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Gordon: Of course! They're a vastly overbudgeted, monolithic, government-run military institution! Which means, of course, that they're completely trustworthy.
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Jennifer: *Sigh.* You just keep on thinking that, Gordon....
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Etna: Hey Prince! Someone's sent you another challenge!
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Flonne: Someone calling themselves the Defender of Earth!
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Gordon: WATE WUT? I don't recall writing any threatening letters today...
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Threatening Letter: "I am the Defender of Earth. I cordially invite you, the Overlord, to the Forest of the Dead to take part in a rumble which, if all goes according to plan, will conclude with my dancing over your bloody corpse. Please RSVP."
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Laharl: So, Gordon, there's another one of you Defender guys running around? Fine. I'll just have to kick his ass, too!
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Jennifer: I wonder... could this letter have been sent by Kurtis?
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Laharl: Kurtis? Whoozat?
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Jennifer: He's just some guy who does heroic shit and who calls himself the Defender of Earth™ , even though the title officially belongs to Gordon.
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Laharl: Well, Gordon. Now that I've given you the shiny new title of "Slayer of the Netherworld" you can put all that "defending Earth" crap behind you.
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Gordon: In your dreams, hellmunchkin!
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Thursday: DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON...
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Thousands of thumbnail theatre readers: We KNEW AA would have to throw in a Lost in Space reference for this character at SOME point--
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Thursday: A-HEM! AS I WAS SAYING...DANGER! DANGER! SENSORS PICKING UP UNKNOWN LIFEFORM...
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Gordon: Kurtis? Is that you?
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????: No! It's the Grim, Grizzled Spectre of Death! DIE!!!!
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Thursday: UH-OH.....ROBOTIC LAW SUBPROGRAM ACTIVATED...MUST SELFLESSLY SACRIFICE OWN EXISTENCE FOR GOOD OF LUNKHEAD HERO....CURSE YOU, ISAAC ASIMOV....
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*SMASSHHH!* *SHORT-CIRCUIT*
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Gordon: Thuuuursday!!!! Grrrr. I swear, as the Defender of Earth, I'll make you pay for that, you old geezer!
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????: YOU'RE the Defender of Earth? But why are you helping the Overlord?
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Laharl: Because I kicked his ass and made him my slave! You got a problem with that?
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????: I sure do. And frankly...I'm disgusted.
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Gordon: And YOU are--?
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????: Don Joaquin, the Original Defender of Earth. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hang my head in shame and whine about these latest developments on my ghostly Livejoural...*vanish*
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Jennifer: So, those rumors my father told me about the original Defender of Earth traveling to the Netherworld and getting his ass handed to him by the Overlord were true...
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Laharl: Well, the good news is that I now know you Defender guys are nothing to worry about. The bad news is that I've now got this old geezer's grizzled, pathetic soul puttering around my kingdom, causing trouble.
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Gordon: Wow. What devotion to duty.
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Etna: Wow. What stupidity.
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Flonne: Still, we must help him. Whaddaya say, the next time we run into him, we let him beat us so his soul can rest...
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Laharl: Screw you. I said it before and I'll say it again. Anything that comes against me is gonna get trashed. End of story.
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Flonne: You suck, Laharl.
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Laharl: You're next on the list, Love Freak...
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Thursday: BEEPBEEPBLIPBEEPBLIPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBLIP....
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Jennifer: Uh-oh. The blow from that old man has overheated Thursday's memory circuit. If he keeps up this pace, he could lose his entire memory of everything that's happened up till now.
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Laharl: Would that the rest of us could be so lucky...
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Thursday: YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD ROBOT DOWN. THURSDAY WILL KEEP FIGHTING.
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Gordon: Oh Thursday! *sniff* *sob* Urrrrrrrrreennnnnnnghhhh!!!!!!!
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Laharl: Geez, Gordon. It sounds as if your voice actor is having an IBD attack...
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Flonne: He's just ...touched by the whole situation.
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Etna: He's touched, all right...
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Don: Ha HA! At last we meet, Overlord, for the first time for the last time...
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Laharl: Uh... didn't we already meet you in the last scene?
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Don: Silence! You think coming up with suitable dramatic opening lines is easy?!! I'm a Defender of Earth™, dammit! Not a screenwriter!
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Laharl: Let's rock, old man...
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Flonne: You can't do this!
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Laharl: Yes I can.
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Etna: Yes he will...
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Flonne: Oh... poop.
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Don: *summon*
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Zombies: Aroooohoooooooo!!
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Don: Mwa-HA! What do you think of my friends?
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Laharl: Pretty pathetic. Much like you.
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*INTENSE BATTLE* *SEVERE ASSKICKING*
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Don: Glurk!
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Flonne: Laharl! You didn't let him win! You suck!
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Laharl: No, Flonne. YOU suck!
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Flonne: You suck WORSE you sucky little suck-faced son of a--...
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Don: It's okay, little girl. I've decided to accept my defeat with dignity and grace. I'm glad this kid wailed on me with all his might. I can rest now knowing that even though I failed, I gave it my all.
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Laharl: Does this mean we can go home now?
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Thursday: BEEP BLIP *crackle* *fizzle* UH-OH...FADING FAST...
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Gordon & Jennifer: Thursday!
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Thursday: DAISY...DAI--SY...GIVE ME YOUR AN-SWER...DOOOOOOoooooo...*pfft*
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Gordon: MEN-DO-ZAAAAA---I mean, THURS-DAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!
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Thousands of Video Game Players: Oh dear. The robot with the really annoying voice is dead. What a tremendous relief terrible tragedy.
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Don: Young Defender of Earth, I can't help but think if I had friends as loyal (and, let's face it, as sexy) as yours, that my stint as Defender of Earth would've been a lot easier. Oh well. No use crying over spilt milk. As my last heroic act I shall use my Miracle Ghost Power to fix your robot. KAME-HAME-HAAAA!!!!!
*FLASSSHHHH*
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Thursday: HAP-PY BIRTH-DAY....
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Thousands of Video Game Players: Oh great. It came back to life. Damn. Hooray.
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Gordon: It's a miracle!
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Jennifer: How can we ever repay you?
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Don: Well, dearie. I can think of a way YOU could repay me... but it would be rather pointless of me to suggest it seeing as how I don't have a body anymore... Welp. I suppose I ought to be moseyin' along now. G'Bye!... *flash* *transform* *float*
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Laharl: Well, as far as humans go, he didn't seem to be TOO annoying...
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Flonne: Gee, Laharl. I'm sorry I doubted you and said discourteous things to you earlier...
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Etna: "Said discourteous things?" Girl, you totally reamed him. And you were about to toss a few choice words his way, weren't you?
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Flonne: Was not!
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Gordon & Jennifer: Was too.
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Etna: Well then, just what WERE you about to say, Flonne?
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Thursday: THURSDAY HAS A GOOD IDEA, AND IF YOU'LL WAIT 3 SECONDS FOR ME TO MAKE THE CALCULATIONS, I'LL SAY IT ALOUD FOR EVERONE TO HEAR. 1...2...
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Flonne: OH NO YOU DON'T! *opens a can of whoopass*
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Thursday: I'M DEAD AGAIN.
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Laharl: Face it, Flonne, you've gone over to the dark side.
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Flonne: Have not!
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Etna: Have too.
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Flonne: Have NOT. Waaahhhh!
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Thursday: TH-TH-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! *Looney Tunes music*
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Episode Twelve - War of the Netherworld, Part 1
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