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Laharl: Okay. That last episode was pure fluff. Which means, I suppose, that the next episode coming up is going to be really depressing and deadly serious.
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Prinny Chorus: Our somber singing would seem to confirm this.
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Flonne: Singing? At this hour? How strange.
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Big Sis Prinny: Well, it'd be even STRANGER if we waited until the middle of the day to sing about the bright, shiny RISEN moon, wouldn't you think?
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Flonne: Oh yeah. Hey, you're that nice Prinny who gave me medicine earlier. Gee, you seem different from the others. Pinker...nicer...not as greedy or self-serving...
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Big Sis Prinny: I don't know what you mean...I'm just like the others...uh...dood...
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Flonne: Riiiight. And I'm the archangel Michael...
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Big Sis Prinny: Well, I'll just helpfully drop a couple of nice, fat, juicy plot points and be on my way, then...
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Flonne: Alrightie.
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Laharl: Hey. Where'd all the Prinnies go?
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Flonne: Well, th-they haven't run away to be reincarnated, if that's what you were thinking...
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Laharl: Uh-huh... Gee, Love Freak. You wouldn't be TRYING TO HIDE something, would you?
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Flonne: Well, if I was, I certainly wouldn't reveal it to someone who wasn't courteous enough to call me by my real name!
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Laharl: Sheesh. Why are YOU the Uber-Bitchqueen from Hell all of a sudden?
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Etna: Yeah. That's MY job!
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Flonne: You suck, Laharl! I'm acting this way because YOU have no love!
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Laharl: And YOU have no grasp on reality. Which is why I'm never talking to you again. Ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I gots me some Prinnies to catch.
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Flonne: Gee. And just when I thought my constant, self-righteous nagging was beginning to work on him...
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Etna: Chin-up, Flonne. Yours may not be a hopeless cause. You see...Believe it or not, the Prince's mother was ALSO a Love Freak. Her being a human might have had something to do with that. Anyway, she was trying to raise Laharl to be an upright, outstanding citizen.
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Flonne: Well, THAT obviously didn't happen. What went wrong?
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Etna: The Prince got sick and his mother sacrificed herself to save him. So from that day on, the Prince turned his back on love and kindness, (completely ignoring the fact that they had SAVED his spoiled bratty little bacon. )
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Flonne: Oh my... Gee...isn't it interesting how in video games, all of a characters emotional problems and moral failings can be traced back to a single traumatic, childhood event?
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Etna: Yeah...interesting... Let's move on, shall we?
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Flonne: Ooh! Pretty white balls!
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Big Sis Prinny: Those are the souls of Prinnies. The red moon is cleansing their sins.
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Laharl: Ahh...so... no Jesus in this universe, then?... no salvation through grace...Just human souls wearing penguin suits, little white balls and a big red moon....Geez. This is some WEIRD theology we got going on here...
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Big Sis Prinny: Well, it makes about as much sense as anything you'd hear in a real-live, non-video game religion...
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Flonne: True, dat.
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Laharl: Hey! I never gave those Prinnies permission to reincarnate!
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Etna: I don't really recall hearing them ASK for it....
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Laharl: Stop them! Now!
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Chernobog: Don't...think..so...shorty....
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Seraph: It is time once again for us to meet and to mutter cryptic things.
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????: Fine, but let's not overdo it this time. We're already approaching Evangelion levels of vagueness here...
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Chernobog: What...is...your...deal...kid?
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Big Sis Prinny: Yeah. Why don't you let the Death Dudes do their work, dood? Don't you care about your vassals' welfare? Don't you love them?
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Laharl: You sound just like that Love Freak.
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Big Sis Prinny: Plot point. Plot point, I say...
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Laharl: Oh ALL RIGHT. I'll decide suddenly and for no discernible reason whatsoever to stop being a jerk and to let them all go.
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Big Sis Prinny: Really, dood? That's just peachy. Welp... so long!
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Flonne: Waaaaaitaminute, Mrs. Goody McTwoshoes. Just what did YOU do to wind up in Hell wearing a penguin costume?
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Big Sis Prinny: I took my life. To save the life of my son. My son, who shut away his feelings after I died. My son who is slowly starting to change thanks to the people around him. My son who is.....oh hell, If you haven't figured it out by NOW--
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Laharl: Mom!
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Flonne: Well what a coincidence. We were just talking about you earlier... What'd be the chances that you'd show up here and now?...Hey wait.... You're his mother, and you were just going to leave him without even saying goodbye?
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Big Sis Prinny: Yes. I figured if fate was going to rip us apart forever, there'd be no point in letting him know and having him dread it beforehand.
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Flonne: Oh... Well that sounds logical...
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Etna: ...which is probably why YOU hadn't thought of it, Flonne...
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Big Sis Prinny: Well, you seem to be in good hands, son-- *poof*
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Laharl's Mom: I hope my leaving this way doesn't fuck you up even more...*vanishes*
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Laharl: On the contrary, Mom. Now that the issues surrounding my personal childhood trauma have been resolved, I'm on the road to spiritual and emotional recovery!
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Flonne: Thank God we live in a universe where Video Game Logic is in full effect!
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Laharl: Well Flonne. Let's go home.
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Flonne: Hey! You remembered my name! That's whatcha call a plot point, isn't it?
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Laharl: It sure is, Love Freak...It sure is...
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Prinny Chorus: Oh we're the girls of the chorus, we hope you liked our show/
We know you're rootin' for us, but now we have to gooooo....
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Episode Nine - Captain Gordon, Defender of Earth
Home
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