Episode Seven - Of Being an Overlord

Laharl: Mm-mmm-hmmm. Mwa-ha-ha-HAAAAAHHH! HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Flonne: Okay, Laharl. I think you've gotten that whole "diabolical laughter" thing down pretty well.

Etna: Yeah. You might want to spend your time doing something more useful...like this new assignment I'm bringing to you.

Laharl: Hot damn! My first Official Act as Overlord! So...what does it involve? My causing an earthquake? A nuclear cataclysm? Widespread mayhem and destruction? A new reality show starring Paris Hilton?

Etna: Nope. It involves ---this kid!

Aramis: ....

Laharl: Hmmm. A new reality show starring THIS kid? I can't imagine it'd be much of a ratings buster...

Aramis: No, dumbass. That's not what she meant.

Laharl: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Flonne: Awww. Lay off him, Laharl! He's just a cute wittwe kid!

Aramis: And you're a flat-chested ditz.

Flonne: GRRRR!!! FLOG HIM! IMMOLATE HIM! HE MUST DIE!!! DIE DIE DIE---Er...uh... I mean...Love and peaccee <3.......*nervous giggle*

Aramis: Oooookay. Maybe I should try taking my request to people who AREN'T batshit insane...

Laharl: Request?

Etna: Yes. He wants you to help him find his pets.

Laharl: WHO THE HAIRY HELL DOES HE THINK I AM? ACE VENTURA? I AIN'T HELPIN' THIS BRAT!

Etna: You'd better. Or I'll get angry. And you won't like me when I'm angry.

Laharl: Ooh. You're right about that. Fine. I'll help.

Aramis: Ah. There goes one of my pets now...

Zombie: Aroooorrrrrooo!!!!

Laharl: A zombie? You've got good taste, kid.

Flonne: For "good" read, "horrifyingly, disturbingly WEIRD in a Tim Burton on Steroids Sort of Way"....So... Uh... How are you going to catch them?

Laharl: I suppose we could employ the usual tactics...

Etna: Mindless and gratuitous violence? Roger that...

Zombies: Groooooorroooooo!!!!! *SPLAT*

Laharl: Feh. This is rapidly becoming boring...

Etna: Quit bellyaching. Being an overlord ain't all diabolical laughter and raining brimstone on your enemies' heads, bub.

Flonne: Gee Etna. You're not your usual laid-back, wise-cracking, sociopathic self. What gives?

Etna: Oh. This pet hunt is just reminding me of the time when I was a naive, scared little girl working in the castle. Back then I owned a pet which I adored, but then it got killed by some demons. But King Krichevskoy reached out to me in sympathy and helped me bury it. I've admired him ever since and I'm fervently hoping his son grows up to be just like him.

Flonne: Wow, Etna. That was tender and insightful. A window into your true feelings for Laharl and the concern you have for his future.... Please say something self-serving and pathological now to reassure me that I am not, in fact, going crazy..

Etna: If Laharl DOESN'T grow up to become like his father, I'll kill him?

Flonne: Ah, now THERE'S the Etna I know and fear...

Laharl: I might have an easier time killing these zombies if they didn't keep coming back to life. Aw well. I suppose that's half the fun of owning them.

Aramis: Yup.

Flonne: Demons. Are. Weird.

Zombies GRRRAARROOOGGHHH!!!

Laharl: Zombies to the left of me. Zombies to the right...

Aramis: And here I am, stuck in the middle with you idiots. By the way, you'd better watch out for that purple zombie over there. It's a doozy. I created it myself. It's the ultimate zombie.

Laharl: Well...aside from the way it clashes with the other zombies, what's so bad about it?

Aramis: Well...for one thing, it has a horse's weiner.

Laharl: That's bad. That's really REALLY BAD AND MIND-BENDINGLY DANGEROUS. I'm not going to elaborate why.

Thousands of Video Game Players: --And for that we thank you.

Laharl: Let's trash it! And WATCH OUT FOR THAT WEINER!!

*BATTLE*

Purple Zombie: Garoooo--SPLUT!

Laharl: Okay kid. It's done. I rounded up all your zombies...

Aramis: Cool. I guess I have to start respecting you now.

Etna & Flonne: We're still going to continue to give you shit, though.

Laharl: I don't care. As long as you accept me as Overlord...

Etna: Allright. And speaking of accepting things, I'd like you to have this Sword of Damocles.

Laharl: *Sigh.* My life sucks.

Episode Eight - Reincarnation

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