Part 26

Ugly face #3: That dumbass Ramsus. He's disobeying our orders.

Ugly face #7: Well, it's hard to blame him since he's still smarting from having his ass whipped.

Ugly face #4: Okay, okay, anyway… back to the plot points, guys. Animus Factor! Sufradi! 'Him'! Anonelbe! The same situation as 500 years ago!

Emperor Cain: Oh, and by the way, Zeboim ruins found in Aquvy. Featuring nanotechnology. This should be fun.

Ugly face #2: Nanotechnology? Who cares about that? Being a living creature is so overrated.

Ugly face #5: Yeah, it's much more fun to just exist inside a computer, the porn's available whenever you want it.

Ugly face #8: You see #5, this is why we don't let you talk. It's actually better because being part of a computer makes us even better than God!

Emperor Cain: : I am surrounded by idiots.

Ugly face #1: No Cain, we are 'gods'.

Emperor Cain: You just go right on telling yourself that.


Elly: Ugh, what the hell was that?

Fei: It was a plane crash. Yeah, not to freak you out or anything, but the two of us are stuck on this wreckage by ourselves and we have only two days worth of food. Don't worry, everything is under control.

Elly: All I can think right now is how proud my parents must be that their little girl turned traitor, ran away with some guy she barely knew and wound up in the middle of the ocean to starve to death.

Fei: God. I think I've been out-emoed.


Citan: Wake up, Rico!

Rico: Zuh buh what? Wait, we're on screen without Fei? What's going on here? Where am I?

Citan: You are… in the navy.

Rico: Oh god. I'm not the policeman, okay? I'll be the Indian chief.

Hammer: ....

Citan: That is not quite what I meant. We are on the Yggdrasil, a ship run by pirates.

Rico: No matter where I go, I'm surrounded by riffraff. Okay, I guess I can take this in stride.

Citan: Shall we mosey up to the bridge and talk to the captain of the ship?

Rico: Sure, why not. Maybe we can convince him to be the biker.

Citan: I did not just hear that.

Hammer: I'm staying here!

Citan: You go ahead and do that, as we now have a floating base of operations, therefore making you completely useless.

Hammer: …I'm going to go sit in the corner and cut myself.

Rico: Have fun. Whoa, when you said this guy was a pirate, you weren't kidding.

Bart: I don't think I'm liking all my introductions having to be apologies.

Rico: Apologies? For what?

Citan: Well, Bart here kind of sort of fragged us. A bit.

Bart: And MAN, was it awesome! I was all like "Fire ze missiles!" and they were all like "But I am le tired!" and then I was all like "Well take a nap THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!!!" and then that plane went down and went BOOM in a very cool explosion which I am sure has not exposed our location to Solaris and-

Rico: Oh, I see. Die.

Bart: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow no WAIT I don't think that's supposed to BEND that WAAAAAAYYY-OWIE IT HURTS NICE LADY WITH THE PAIN AND THE BURNING AND OH FREUNLAYVIN!!!!!

Citan: That is two ass-kickings administered by Rico in about 15 minutes of gameplay. We may be in danger of wearing this gimmick out-

Rico: *look of death*

Citan: Righty-o, shutting up…

Part 27