Amethyst Angel's
How NOT to Become a Successful Costumer

Going to make and sell costumes to finance the cost of your own cosplay OR as a way of making a living? Well, this article isn't for you, then. This article is for those certain masochistic individuals who like to run themselves ragged for little reward and even less satisfaction. This article is for the aspiring Failed Costumer (and future asylum inmate.) With that in mind, here are a list of rules to follow, if YOU want to run an unsuccessful costume sewing business, slowly driving yourself raving mad in the process:

1.) Undervalue your skills. In this day and age of cheap, off-the-rack clothing, most people expect you to make a costume for the same price they'd expect to pay for a Walmart-bought suit made in a country where the average citizen's annual income is less than the cost of that mocha latte you spilled all over your pants this morning. It hurts to have people reject your quotes, no matter how fair and reasonable they might be, so be sure to undercut your own worth as much as possible. Never mind the fact that you might be losing money on the deal when all is said and done. At least you're helping someone live out his/her cosplay dreams. (And who cares if you can't afford food or rent? Your own feelings of smug, self-satisfaction should be more than enough to keep you warm and sustained during those cold winter months that you'll be spending in your area's local homeless shelter.)

And when all your fellow costumers hear of your generousity, they're going to appreciate you SO much. Why, they might even have to lower THEIR prices just so they can compete with you! And then, when their businesses fail, they might find themselves having to move into the homeless shelter with you! Won't THAT be nice? You'll be SUCH a popular person...(And when your fellow costumers all surround you and stab you repeatedly with their seam rippers, weeeelllll.... that'll just be their way of showing you their affection...)

2.) Make sure your customer sends you NO reference pictures. None whatsoever. After all, you've probably got plenty of time to go surfing online anime galleries for the pictures you need. (Make sure not to charge your customer for this time either, --they'll probably think badly of you if you do, and you wouldn't THAT, would you?) Be sure you pick the blurriest, least-detailed pictures you can find, because your customer really isn't all that interested in having their costume actually LOOK like their character. If you can get the outfit somewhere in the ballpark, appearance-wise, it'll be fine.

3.) Don't write out a contract. A precise list, detailing listing everything the customer wants you to make for them. (Including accessories, footwear, etc.) is not necessary. You'll be able to keep all the construction and pricing information in your head. A contract, like the one found here at Margo Anderson's One Tough Costumer Website, will just add extra time and effort to your project. Time and effort which could be spent looking for fuzzy, poor-quality reference pictures.

4.) Don't figure out what your work is worth. Margo Anderson, in her article on Pricing and Presentation, talks about assessing the cost of the labor and materials which will go into making a project. Such assessment is not necessary, I assure you. DON'T keep a time log, detailing how much time you spent researching and sewing a particular project. DON'T keep track of the materials you used, and DON'T keep track of any gas you might have used in driving to the fabric store or in mailing the costume off. Odds are, such costs will have a minimum impact on the actual value of the item. Make sure you don't factor in the cost of wear and tear on your sewing machine, your car, or your other equipment, and don't keep detailed expense records for your taxes. Just guess. The IRS is a pretty easy-going bunch o' guys. If you're in serious arrears, they'll likely only give you a little slap on the wrist.

5.) Always begin work on a project BEFORE you've received payment for it. Some costumers insist on having all of their payment made in advance. Others settle for a half-payment in advance. Still others will agree to accept a large down-payment with several smaller subsequent payments scattered over a period of time. But the Failed Costumer KNOWS the best way to sink one's business but good is to take the word of a potential client at face value and start spending oodles of money on fabric and materials before any contract has been finalized OR before any money has been sent in. After all, there's very little chance that the person will change his/her mind. And if they DO change their mind- oh well. You'll be able to use those 36 yards of orange lame fabric you just bought for ANOTHER project somewhere down the line, surely...

6.) Make sure to NOT ADD shipping charges to any estimates you give out. If you tell your client that the job is 250.00 plus ten dollars for shipping, don't worry that the 250.00 figure is going to stick in their head and that that amount will be all they're going to send you. Adding your shipping charge to the final total before you send it to the customer will just be an extra bother. (And if your customer forgets to send you the shipping, don't write them another e-mail asking for the money. That would be terribly rude.)

7.) Don't improve your skills. All you need to successfully run an unsuccessful costuming business is just the basest, most rudimentary knowledge of sewing. As long as you can sew two seams together, you can call yourself a seamstress. Don't waste your time taking sewing, design or color theory classes or picking up skills like resin casting, woodworking, sculpting, or jewelrymaking. The less skills you have, the less work you'll be able to do, and the less work you'll have people asking you to do. (Remember, being a Failed Costumer is all about NOT working...)

8.) Don't pay attention to detail. Don't finish all seams, don't turn under all hems, and don't use quality materials. (And if you come across something that's beyond your skill level, don't tell your customer. Try and see if you can make/do it yourself. Even if you fail miserably, wasting your client's time and money, you'll still have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried..)

9.) DO wear yourself out. The burnout rate is very low for people who like to bite off more than they can chew, so be sure to overreach yourself and take on waaay too much work. (That way, when you fail, you'll be sure to disappoint the maximum amount of people and sink forever any hopes you had of being considered a legitimate and reliable costumer.)

10.) When shipping items, don't pack them carefully. Especially rigid items like armor. Just cram it into the box until it fits. And ignore the weather when you're packing your items. If you're sending some styrene armor down to Texas in the middle of July, it's a good idea to pack it in melt-happy plastic baggies instead of shredded paper or styrofoam. And for god's sake, if you have something fragile and delicate, be sure to send it by FedEx Ground or UPS. in an unpadded box for maximum dentage. When sending items overseas, ignore all customs regulations. Try sending real metal weapons to Sweden or dangerous paints and chemicals to Italy. And don't EVER put insurance on ANY of your items. Insurance is just a waste of money, especially when it comes to large, expensive items which can't be replaced. (And if you're a big enough sucker to buy insurance for your packages, most post offices don't need detailed receipts and proofs of value when it comes to filing insurance claimes if an item DOES get lost. So don't bother keeping good records proving the value of the stuff you sent.)

There! Ten Easy Rules to remember if you want to become a Failed Costumer! I'll post more in the future if I can think of anything to add. Until then...Goodbye and Bad Luck!!