If Other Businesses Were like Graphic Design...

I don’t know anything about plumbing, but I plunged by boss’s sink and it cleared, and now he wants me to install a new toilet. Can anyone tell me how this is done? I don’t have any money for training, and I don’t do well trying to read from books (visually oriented-but not necessarily mechanically minded). He bought me a set of Crescent wrenches and a couple pipe wrenches, and he is only giving me one day to do it.

I don’t really know anything about electrical work, but I got my boss’s lamp working, and now he wants me to wire the new suite we annexed. I know the light switches usually flip up for on and down for off, and that they are supposed to be ‘grounded’ (whatever that means). He bought me a full set of straight and ‘cross’ screwdrivers, and a pair of wire cutters. Can anyone tell me how not fry my shorts?

I don’t know anything about accounting, but I was able to find an error in my boss’s checkbook statement where he didn’t add correctly, and now he wants me to be our ‘accounting’ department, and track all the invoices, payments, statements, deposits, etc. Should I get QuickBooks or Quicken? Will it be self-explanatory or will I need to look into some kind of training?

Tech Help:
I don’t know much about computBLIP……
I ‘resurrected’ my boss’s computer (found the ‘reset’ button), and know he wants me to install and monitor our new twenty station network…..

Personal Services:
I’m not much on cutting hair, but I cut a mean paper pattern with a sharp pair of scissors…….

Auto Repair:
I’m not much of a mechanic, but I changed the air cleaner in my boss’s car and washed it and now he wants me to maintain his fleet of twenty delivery vans. We have a full set of Craftsmen tools, but they didn’t come with a manual for the vans we have. Can anyone help me out?

Interior Designer:
My boss liked the way I re-arranged the front office furniture, and now wants me to ‘decorate’ his new $250,000 home from start. How do you pick a carpet color to match a paint color if they use different stuff to color it with? Where is a good place to find wallpaper samples?...

Ethan (a.k.a. imagemaker on the Graphic Design Forum)

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