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Tidus: So, Creepy Kid with Hood....How's it hangin'?
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Creepy Kid with Hood: Enough inane chit-chat. Have you thought of a way to defeat Sin already?
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Tidus: Um, we go fight that Yu Yevon guy?
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Creepy Kid with Hood: Ding ding ding! We have a winner! First prize is... some Yu Yevon backstory!
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Tidus: Geez, not very much. You know, for a main villain, he really isn't all that well-defined.
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Creepy Kid with Hood: Oh, and like you guys ARE? Quit whining and go cap him already. And don't forget to call on us for help when you do.
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Yuna: Okey-dokey.
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Creepy Kid with Hood: Oh and Tidus... Sorry about that whole "You just being our dream" thing again.
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Tidus: Aw don't worry about it. It's not your fault the writers (*&%*ING HATE ME!!!!
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Yuna: What did you just say?
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Tidus: Nothing. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Just go back into Default Cheery Mode, okay?
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Yuna: I can't. I'm now in Full Worry Mode. Thanks to you being a crappy liar and all.
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Shelinda: Oh dear, I can't find Maester Mika anywhere!
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Rikku: Too bad. So Sad... Hey, how about you doing us a favor? We need everyone in Spira to sing the Hymn of the Fayth nice and loud later on when we give the signal.
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Shelinda: Uh, this isn't one of those lame Hands Across America-type fund-raising deals is it?
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Rikku: No. Just tell everyone in the city that, when they see a giant ship in the sky and hear it start to play some choral-y music, to join in. Okay?
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Shelinda: Oh yes! I'll be sure to tell everyone! And I'm sure they won't all laugh at me in response!
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Tidus: I wouldn't worry about that. (They'll all be TOO SCARED of you to laugh at you.)
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Cid: So now it's finally time for the BIG SHOWDOWN with Sin! Yee-HAW! Woo doggies!
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Wakka: Wait. Before we begin, I'd like to redeem myself a little by apologizing for all those racist, anti-Al-Bhedian comments I made earlier.
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Cid: Aw, don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you. Hell, I'd expect that kind of insensitivity from a jock-brained, Yevonite chunkhead like yourself..
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Wakka: Cid........ you SUC--
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Tidus: Stifle it, Wakka! Let's just go ahead and finish this game already.
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Cid: YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAA--
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Lulu: WAIT! shouldn't we fortify ourselves by going on pointless sidequests, collecting more Aeons and playing impossible-to-win minigames in an attempt to power up our ultimate superweapons (which we still have yet to find?)
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Cid and Tidus: *sigh*................Fine.
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SEVERAL HOURS LATER...
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Tidus: Well, WE made out alright. I don't think the same can be said of the people playing this game, though...
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Thousands of Video Game Players: GRKK! DAMN SON OF A-- *(#(*%*%@@ING CHOCOBO RACE @#&*%$&% STUPID SEAGULLS FROM HELL!!!! ()#%$%& GRRRRR LIGHTNING STRIKES ($^&% DAMN BUTTERFLIES **@#$& CACTAURS (*&% GRRRRARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
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Cid: Okay, are we ready NOW??
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Everyone: YES!!
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Cid: Alright then. I'm gonna switch on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir here, and then auger this baby down Sin's throat!
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Airship: VRROOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
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Tidus: JUMP!
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Sin: Oh, you thought it was going to be THAT easy, didn't you?
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Tidus: Ulp!
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Cid: Hey! I saw something shiny around Sin's armpit! It must be a weak spot!
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Rikku: And just WHAT logic are you basing THAT on, Dad?
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Cid: Video Game Logic! Which states that if you notice anything even slightly out of the ordinary during a major boss fight, that your key to victory probably hinges on your blowing it up!
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Rikku: Alright! But just give us a few minutes to soften it up first!
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Cid: Fire Phasers!
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Laser Gun: ****BLLAAAAAAAAAASSSSST****
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Sin's Left Fin: AAAIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
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Cid: Alright! Other side, people!
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Everyone (along with Thousands of Video Game Players): We gotta do this AGAIN?
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Cid: Yeah! Symmetry's a bitch, ain't it? Fire!
Laser Gun: ****BLLAAAAAAAAAASSSSST****
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Sin's Right Fin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--THUD!!!!!!!!!!
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Rikku: Oh, slick move, Dad! You broke the main gun!
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Cid: Back inside, kids!
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Tidus: No! We're going--
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Yuna: --IN!!! *jumps*
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Tidus: Oh, way to upstage the hero, Yuna! *jumps*
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Sinspawn Genais: Get OFF!
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Tidus: Make us!
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Sin's Core: Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry...
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Tidus: I don't like you NOW! So why don't you just DIE already?
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Sin's Core: Make me!
*BOOM*
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Sin's Core: ...Oops...
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Rikku: We defeated it!
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Tidus: Great!
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Auron: We're going down!
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Tidus: Um. Not so great. Back to the airship!
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Sin: CRAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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People of Bevelle: AIIIIIEEEE!!!
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Cid: Whoops. Oh well. A little collateral damage never hurt anybody.
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Yuna: It's not Miller Time yet, is it?
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Tidus: Not by a longshot. We now have to find a way INSIDE of Sin.
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Cid: I'll see what I can do about getting the phasers back online.
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Yuna: Gee. I wonder if Sir Jecht is in pain.
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Tidus: God, I hope so---errr, I mean, let's put him out of his misery as quickly as possible. That should be easy with the fayth helping us.
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Yuna: Yeah. Speaking of the fayth, I don't suppose there's any chance you're going to unwrap and explain that bizarre "dream" comment made by the Creepy Kid with the Hood earlier?
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Tidus: Nope.
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Yuna: Dang.
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Rikku: Uh, guys? Sin's doing something weird.
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Sin: Ha! Now I will grow wings, rise into the air and initiate Third Impact! ...No...wait... that's the End of Evangelion... Aw hell. I guess I'll just float here until I figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do next...
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Cid: Sorry kids! I wasn't able to do anything with the gun. You'll just have to go in and fight that beastie without cover fire.
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Tidus: Sheesh. "Scotty" _you_are_NOT...
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Cid: Alright, you big, flying, mutated whale! Open wide!
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Tidus: Here I come, Dad!
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AFTER A SHORT BATTLE...
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Airship: VVRRROOOOOMMM!!!!!
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Seymour: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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Everyone: The HELL?
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Tidus: I hope that didn't mean what I think it means.
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Auron: Okay. We're inside. Everyone remember where we parked...
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Tidus: This is the "Pink Fog and Pyrefly Lot", isn't it? Okay everyone. Follow me!
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Seymour: Ah. Visitors. How nice!
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Everyone: Oh NO.
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Seymour: Oh YES! Ha HAA! I have been absorbed by Sin whom I hope to be able to control at some point. Oh, and thanks for taking out that Yunalesca chick for me. That'll make my job of using Sin to destroy the world SO much easier. Nothing can stop me!
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Tidus: Bold words from a three-time loser! It's time we put you away once and for all!
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**INTENSE BATTLE**
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Seymour: I am DEAD, Horatio...
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Yuna: Not quite. I've got to send you first.
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Seymour: Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar. The rest...is Silence....*VANISH*
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Tidus: Yeah... We WISH... Give our regards to Kefka and Sephiroth when you get to the Farplane's Home for Washed-Up, Nilhilistic, Overacting Villains!
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Auron: Okay then. Let's check our Rick Steve's Travel Guide to Sin's Interior... Hmm.. According to this, we should be in the "City of Dying Dreams" right now.
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Tidus: *Sigh.* Why IS it that the interiors of giant monsters ALWAYS look as if they've been designed by crack-addled architects?
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Auron: Beats me. Oh, and beyond this, lies the "Tower of the Dead."
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Tower: FSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---THHHHUUUUUUUUDDDDDD!!!!!!
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Tidus: Gee. I wonder if THAT could be it.
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Wakka: Let's go in, ya?
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Tidus: Woooowww. This is just like Carlsbad Caverns... if Carlsbad Caverns had killer stalactites which shot up out of the ground and killed you...
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Lulu: Um, Tidus, the things which come out of the ground are stalagmites, not stalactites...
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Tidus: Like I GIVE a rat's ass! Ow! My ASS!!
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Lulu: That looked painful. I am SO glad that's YOU all alone up there on the overworld screen and not me.
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Tidus: I bet you are. Gee. THIS seems to be rather an inopportune place to be putting a mini-game.
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Wakka: I don't think it's a mini-game. I think it's our key to the next level, ya?
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Tidus: Stupid, damn, sonuvabitchin DISAPPEARING CRYSTALS! Person writing this thumbnail theater! Cut to the final boss fight! CUT!!!! NOW!!!
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On to Part 16!
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