DAY TWO: Saturday, August 24, 2002

It occurred to me at some point during the morning, that if Amber and I were going to perform in the cosplay that evening, that we'd better come up with a concrete script for our skit. I myself had a pretty good idea of what I wanted us to do, but due to it's mildly risque nature, I wasn't sure the people running the con would allow it. So I began turning over idea after idea in my head trying to come up with SOMETHING we could do if my first idea was rejected. Invariably, I wound up deciding to go ahead with my initial idea anyway. (After all, if it WAS unsuitable, we could always apologize to the con officials AFTERWARD, couldn't we?)

And it wasn't like Amber and I were going to do anything dirty. The two of us would NEVER stoop to doing anything of an even remotely objectionable nature:

Um..Well...okay. We did cave in and toss a bone to the yuri crowd at one point while we were posing for pictures that day. But whatever we did, it was all done with the strictest regard for taste. (And if you should happen to see any video footage floating around the net of Amber licking mustard off a guy's bare chest, well...she'd like you to know that THAT was done with the strictest regard for taste as well...)

You may have noticed I'm wearing a darker, differently styled Anthy wig in the above picture. I brought TWO wigs to the convention--the one you see above and a long curly one. I don't know why I felt it necessary to bring two wigs along, unless I felt I needed a back-up in case something happened to either of them. I also brought TWO SWORDS to the convention as well, (which ultimately turned out to be a Smart Move, as Amber broke one of the swords as we were practicing our cosplay skit.)

Rule #2 of Convention-Going: If it's important, bring TWO of them, as something will invariably happen to the first one...) And bring Super Glue, because something will invariably happen to the second one as well.

Late morning: Amber went off to attend a Cel-Painting class. Jared headed to the dealer's room again (I think) and I headed downstairs to see if I couldn't find the fanfiction panel that I had, days before, been invited to participate in. I found it in the Rosewood Ballroom. A man named Dan Snyder was in charge of the panel. (He was an old pal I had met and had almost been glomped to death by back during an Anime Weekend Atlanta a few years ago). We greeted each other once again (quite warmly, although I was careful to stay outside of glomping distance this time,) and he showed me to a chair. My fellow panelists included Greg Sandborn, author of the famed Ranma 1/2 fic, New Horizons, and....some other guys. I regret I didn't get any pictures of my fellow panelists. (Not that they would've turned out anyway, but they would have been nice to have, even if eveyone in them looked as if they were lying in a pile of mud.) I admit I was a bit surprised that I had been asked to be on the panel, since my thing is mainly webcomics and things having to do with drawing pretty pictures. (My last main foray into fanfiction was the still-unfinished S-Files which I haven't touched in over a year, as huffy fans are apt to keep reminding me from time to time.) The fanfic panel went well, I thought. Subjects touched upon were the perils of trying to write fiction for a living (Sandborn's advice basically boiled down to this: Unless you're the love child of J.K. Rowling and Stephen King, you'll never make a living at being a novelist. So just fuhgeddaboudit.) Other subjects touched upon were the trials and tribulations of mailing lists, fanfiction.net and the protocol surrounding the writing of MSTie fics. I found that, even though I talked a lot, I really didn't have much to say that was particularly useful to anybody. As I said, my area of expertise was webcomics, and that kind of thing really didn't get touched upon. I would have loved to have seen a 2, even a 3-hour fanfic panel, as there were a lot of subjects I'm sure people in the audience really wanted to discuss which we never had the time for.

When the panel was over, I wound up feeling as though I really hadn't made a significant contribution. But all was not lost. Attending the panel were a few cosplayers who were fans of Hamlet:the Manga and who actually wanted to speak to me about my work. I giddily showed them my portfolio (being careful to speak with them on the floor just OUTSIDE my hotel room this time), and dispensed to them scads of world-weary artistic advice while they listened patiently at my feet. One of the cosplayers, a girl named Rosanna, showed me her artwork and I gave her what I hoped were useful comments and criticism. I also handed out photoprints I had made of the tarot cards I'm currently working on and which I had brought to the convention for the purpose of handing them out to anyone who'd be willing to stroke my eg--er...uh...graciously accept them. I signed the backs of the cards, too, which made me feel like, you know, I was some kind of pro or something (Or at least, someone who was important enough to have her signature actually mean something.) I noticed that Rosanna was having a little trouble with her outfit. The demon's blood talismans she had made to go with her Lina Inverse costume were falling apart and I volunteered to help her by sewing together the bands holding them to her wrists.

Rule #3 of Convention-Going: Bring a needle and thread. Even if you don't know how to use them. Because you WILL need them. Anime Conventions are curious places where the regular laws of physics don't apply and where fabric-based planes of matter have a tendency to rip apart and come loose more often than they would in any other place on Earth, at any other time.

Of course I had SEVERAL needles and a truckload of thread on me because, as I said before, I was on top of this whole "con" thing and because...

...okay. I admit it. I'm just a friggin' paranoid.

Okay. 'Nuff of this. It's about time I told you about the costume contest...

ANIME IOWA 2002 COSTUME CONTEST

Late afternoon. Amber and I get into our costumes and head down to the first floor. There we mill around, browse the dealer's room some more, pose for more pictures and (myself-- show off my portfolio to as many people as who can stomach seeing it.) 7:30 rolls around (which is the deadline for being in the Theater Room if one wants to participate in the costume contest) and so Amber and I bid Jared goodbye and take our seats amongst our fellow masqueraders.

I would have to say that the contest seemed (to me at least) to be pretty well-organized. We were all quickly assigned our numbers. (Amber and I volunteered to take the 5th spot. That way, if we bombed, we knew the horror and embarrassment would be over relatively quickly.) Everyone in the contest were then shuffled off to the green rooms, -relatively spacious areas where a closed-circuit TV had been set up so those of us in the contest could see the other acts. The technology was primitive and the picture faded in and out at times but I'd have to say it was a really good idea. Also a good idea: Having people running around backstage doling out water and caffeine pills to the people in the contest who needed them. All in all, it was a much better experience than the one I had had last year at AnimeFEST, when all of the acts had been squished into a single hallway where they couldn't see or hear anything of what was happening on stage. Pooey.

Amber and I ran into several nice people backstage: The Forest-Spirit guy, and the friendly Shampoo and Genma decked out in Hawaiian regalia to name a few. I wasn't able to socialize much however, as I had a speech to memorize, AND as I was trying to keep hidden an item which I carried around me in a plastic bag. A very important item...which I hoped no one would find out about before the proper time. The skit ahead of us consisted of a big beefy guy dressed as Digi-Charat knocking out a Bill Gates impersonator. (This was, in my opinion, probably the funniest of all the skits. It was certainly, for me and for a lot of other victims of MicroSquish technology who were present that night, extremely satisfying to watch.) I wondered how Amber and I would ever be able to top it...

It is soon our turn to go onstage...

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! Whoops, I mean, DIOS!!!!

Um...whoops.....

Yes. I know it was a lame, lowest common-denominator-type gag, but it was one that went over extremely well with the audience. (The big red bra with the rose pattern all over it is not mine, by the way. It's Amber's. I have to say, she's a real good sport for allowing her intimate apparel to be flashed around in public and consequently on websites visited by millions of people. But then again, she did do that whole "licking mustard off a guy's bare chest" thing earlier, so...)

The above cosplay pictures, by the way, come to you courtesy of A Fan's View. Jared hadn't been able to find a seat in the theater and thus, had to watch it by closed circuit TV. Consequently, he hadn't managed to get any pictures while the contest in progress.

I suppose I should mention that this wasn't the first time I had employed the sudden revelation of a brassiere for comedic effect in a cosplay skit. And I'm pretty darn certain it won't be the last, either.

Anyway, the contest ends and they announce the winners. And hot damn. Our skit won Second Runner up. First runner-up was a troupe of FFVII cosplayers and the Best in Show were a couple portraying Zagato and Emeraude. Their costumes were VERY good. You can see all the winners in this photo Jared took after they opened the doors of the theatre and had everyone onstage posing for photographs.

If you look closely, you can see my face sticking out from just under Zagato's right...um...space-ship-looking shoulder-armor-thingie. The Zagato armor was an amazing costume, and I had to feel sorry for the guy wearing it. Getting him into it was a complicated process backstage and while wearing it, he could only travel in one direction: sideways. If there were an award given out for pain and suffering in the course of performing, I'm sure this guy would've been given it....

No wait. It would have gone to THIS guy...

The big-ass Totoro Guy. Felt sorry for him, too. He couldn't even see where he was going while he had that costume on. (But his costume DID win a judges award, so all that pain and suffering didn't go completely unrewarded at least. And you can kind of get a glimpse of the guy in the Hawaii-Genma costume standing next to him. He also won a judges award.) The judges were nice folks, and it was nice of THEM to remain sober during the course of the contest and to not accidentally give our reward to someone ELSE, as like what happened last year to the cosplay group I was in at AnimeFEST. (Not that I'm still having sour grapes over THAT incident or anything).

So then. The contest ended, and we were all basically free to mill about and do whatever we wanted. We posed for dozens of pictures, and Amber got her ass pinched by a creepy fanboy at one point. It was then that I learned the Third Rule of Cosplay:

Hoopskirts: They may be ungodly cumbersome, but at least, while wearing them, your ass can't get pinched.

Eventually, we went off to bed. We'd have to get an early start tomorrow. It would be a long drive back to St. Cloud.

Giggle. *Snort*...Oh God.....If my grandchildren ever find out about this....